Icy was quite so far from fine in fact that she found herself slumping to the floor. The weight of everything that happened, everything that was to come, finally setting in--taking its physical toll. Every little thing that Icy had suppressed spilled over; all the pressures, all the insecurities, all the questions. "How can I be a mother?" "Will this kid even like me?" "How will I tell the kid about its father?" "How will everyone else treat me?"
"Why?"
And Icy cried. Not just a few tears. Not just short and simple ten Minute fit. It was an all out bawl; choked sobs, shaking body, uneven breaths. And she couldn't hold the tears back, she hadn't even the strength to try. And then she let out a scream wracked with emotional pain. And another...and another, until she could feel soreness burning within her throat. And then she went back to simply sobbing...and then muttering "why, why, why?" between each shaking sob. Icy had to stop--she knew it--she had to, before she hurt herself. Drawing in multiple deep breaths, she ran a violently trembling hand through her hair. Mehr deep and erratic breaths. Struggled inhale, shaky exhale...and repeat. They did little to sooth Icy. Frustrated that she could bring herself to calm down she cried out again (this time Mehr loudly than the first three) and slammed her fist into the floor. "DAMN IT!" She screamed bashing the tiling again. Von now the witch was hyperventilating. "Damn it!" And this time she forced any image of the wizard that she could muster and slammed her fist, again, into the tiling. And again, this time harder. As though bringing her wrath down on the floor could obliterate any recollection of that night. And at that thought she began to laugh...laugh and cry all at once. It was a mess...she was a mess. And she laughed harder, Mehr tears sliding to the floor. Isn't this just pathetic? She mused, and then she realized she sagte it out loud. Why was she even laughing? She couldn't even begin to fathom why. Consumed with rage at her new found confusion, Icy picked up the nearest item and flung it across the room. She heaved herself up and grabbed another object--this one also finding itself to the opposite end of the room. And at this, Icy had finally wore herself out; she curled up into a little ball--legs drawn as closely to her chest as possible and began once Mehr to sob softly...bitterly to herself. She felt just as helpless as she had the night she had down the pills.
Maybe even Mehr so.
And that was how Darcy and Stormy found her. Curled up and (by the time they arrived) whimpering weakly. Makeup running down from her puffy, bloodshot eyes all over her face in every direction, hair a mess and with bruising knuckles. The room in shambles. Stormy wasn't one to Zeigen anything other than immaturity and a shortness of temper, but even she found confusion etched across her face.
"You sagte Du were fine." Darcy murmured, chastising herself for actually leaving Icy alone. "What exactly are Du thinking right now?"
Icy sagte nothing, didn't even move. "Come on Ice, talk to me." Darcy tried again. Only a muffled cry.
"Is she okay?" Stormy asked.
"Does she look OKAY?" Darcy snapped. She knelt down beside Icy and placed a hand on her back rubbing in gentle circles. Icy sniffled, but other than that gave no response. "It'll get better, I promise." Darcy tried.
A long and heavy silence over took them. "How?" Icy's eventual reply came, it was soft...weak...barely audible.
But Darcy heard it none the less. "Because...you're going to have a beautiful, healthy child, and he...or she will Liebe Du very much. Du can give this kid the life your mom couldn't give you. Du can take care of that baby and he oder she will appreciate it. Appreciate you." She paused. "Stormy and I are here too ya know, we can help Du take care of the baby."
"We can?" Stormy asked, earning herself a glare from Darcy. "We can." Stormy repeated this time in the from of a promise.
"Just let it go. Let life take its course, maybe it won't be as bad as Du think." Darcy took Icy's hand and helped her into a sitting position. Resting her hand on her stomach and her head against the wall, Icy sucked in a deep breath, let it out, and eventually nodded. "This isn't going to happen again is it?" Darcy asked.
"Not anytime soon...I hope." Icy whispered.
"Why?"
And Icy cried. Not just a few tears. Not just short and simple ten Minute fit. It was an all out bawl; choked sobs, shaking body, uneven breaths. And she couldn't hold the tears back, she hadn't even the strength to try. And then she let out a scream wracked with emotional pain. And another...and another, until she could feel soreness burning within her throat. And then she went back to simply sobbing...and then muttering "why, why, why?" between each shaking sob. Icy had to stop--she knew it--she had to, before she hurt herself. Drawing in multiple deep breaths, she ran a violently trembling hand through her hair. Mehr deep and erratic breaths. Struggled inhale, shaky exhale...and repeat. They did little to sooth Icy. Frustrated that she could bring herself to calm down she cried out again (this time Mehr loudly than the first three) and slammed her fist into the floor. "DAMN IT!" She screamed bashing the tiling again. Von now the witch was hyperventilating. "Damn it!" And this time she forced any image of the wizard that she could muster and slammed her fist, again, into the tiling. And again, this time harder. As though bringing her wrath down on the floor could obliterate any recollection of that night. And at that thought she began to laugh...laugh and cry all at once. It was a mess...she was a mess. And she laughed harder, Mehr tears sliding to the floor. Isn't this just pathetic? She mused, and then she realized she sagte it out loud. Why was she even laughing? She couldn't even begin to fathom why. Consumed with rage at her new found confusion, Icy picked up the nearest item and flung it across the room. She heaved herself up and grabbed another object--this one also finding itself to the opposite end of the room. And at this, Icy had finally wore herself out; she curled up into a little ball--legs drawn as closely to her chest as possible and began once Mehr to sob softly...bitterly to herself. She felt just as helpless as she had the night she had down the pills.
Maybe even Mehr so.
And that was how Darcy and Stormy found her. Curled up and (by the time they arrived) whimpering weakly. Makeup running down from her puffy, bloodshot eyes all over her face in every direction, hair a mess and with bruising knuckles. The room in shambles. Stormy wasn't one to Zeigen anything other than immaturity and a shortness of temper, but even she found confusion etched across her face.
"You sagte Du were fine." Darcy murmured, chastising herself for actually leaving Icy alone. "What exactly are Du thinking right now?"
Icy sagte nothing, didn't even move. "Come on Ice, talk to me." Darcy tried again. Only a muffled cry.
"Is she okay?" Stormy asked.
"Does she look OKAY?" Darcy snapped. She knelt down beside Icy and placed a hand on her back rubbing in gentle circles. Icy sniffled, but other than that gave no response. "It'll get better, I promise." Darcy tried.
A long and heavy silence over took them. "How?" Icy's eventual reply came, it was soft...weak...barely audible.
But Darcy heard it none the less. "Because...you're going to have a beautiful, healthy child, and he...or she will Liebe Du very much. Du can give this kid the life your mom couldn't give you. Du can take care of that baby and he oder she will appreciate it. Appreciate you." She paused. "Stormy and I are here too ya know, we can help Du take care of the baby."
"We can?" Stormy asked, earning herself a glare from Darcy. "We can." Stormy repeated this time in the from of a promise.
"Just let it go. Let life take its course, maybe it won't be as bad as Du think." Darcy took Icy's hand and helped her into a sitting position. Resting her hand on her stomach and her head against the wall, Icy sucked in a deep breath, let it out, and eventually nodded. "This isn't going to happen again is it?" Darcy asked.
"Not anytime soon...I hope." Icy whispered.
