Yes, it's that magical time of Jahr again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.
Here is the glorious winner:
1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to feuer at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long strand , California , would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
And now, the honorable mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland Lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and, after a
little shopping around, Abgeschickt a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also Lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.
3. A man who shoveled snow for an Stunde to clear a Weltraum for his car during a blizzard in
Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20
mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free>ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an
oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change.
When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the
counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer.... $15.
[If someone points a gun at Du and gives Du money, is a crime committed?]
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some bier pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window.
The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas.
The whole event was caught on videotape.
8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her geldbörse and ran.
The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed Beschreibung of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, 'Yes, officer, that's her.
That's the lady I stahl, stola the geldbörse from.'
9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti Michigan, at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he sagte he couldn't open the cash register without a Essen order. When the man ordered zwiebel rings, the clerk sagte they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
[*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor Home parked on a Seattle
street, he got much Mehr than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up Weiter to a motor Home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman sagte that the man admitted to trying
to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank Von mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with your Friends and family...
unless of course one of these individuals Von chance is a distant relative oder long-lost friend. In that case, be glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.
*** Remember... They walk among us!!! ***
[absolutley no surprise that the majority of these retards are/were American!!]
Here is the glorious winner:
1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to feuer at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long strand , California , would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
And now, the honorable mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland Lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and, after a
little shopping around, Abgeschickt a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also Lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.
3. A man who shoveled snow for an Stunde to clear a Weltraum for his car during a blizzard in
Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20
mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free>ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an
oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change.
When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the
counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer.... $15.
[If someone points a gun at Du and gives Du money, is a crime committed?]
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some bier pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window.
The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas.
The whole event was caught on videotape.
8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her geldbörse and ran.
The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed Beschreibung of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, 'Yes, officer, that's her.
That's the lady I stahl, stola the geldbörse from.'
9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti Michigan, at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he sagte he couldn't open the cash register without a Essen order. When the man ordered zwiebel rings, the clerk sagte they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
[*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor Home parked on a Seattle
street, he got much Mehr than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up Weiter to a motor Home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman sagte that the man admitted to trying
to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank Von mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with your Friends and family...
unless of course one of these individuals Von chance is a distant relative oder long-lost friend. In that case, be glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.
*** Remember... They walk among us!!! ***
[absolutley no surprise that the majority of these retards are/were American!!]
