1. Don’t test our patients
2. What we like to wear and what u want us to wear, is very different
3. Our period comes at a schedule, so quit Schauspielen like it’s the first we’ve bitched out at you
4. Don’t point out our flaws when they’re obvious to everyone. We don’t need to be constantly reminded
5. Don’t try to act cool when Du hit on us, we can see through it
6. “hey” is not a pick up line
7. Just because we hug a lot does not mean we’re all lesbian
8. If we ask Du if we look fat, play dead, there is no correct answer
9. Just cause Du don’t like our hobbies, doesn’t give Du the right to dis them
10. If you’re giving us hints and we’re not changing what we’re doing , it’s not cause we didn’t get it, we choose to ignore it
11. Quit telling us to make Du a fucking sandwich. If Du think it’s so easy, make it yourself
12. Don’t grab our ass. How would Du like it if we started yanking at your balls
13. If we’re in a room fighting, and Du ask if we’re PMSing, only one person will leave that room, and it won’t be you
14. Don’t ask for naked photos; that’s what the internet is for
15. When we say we’re “fine” oder “never mind” it means the exact opposite
16. When we play fight, we know you’re going to win. Just don’t overdo it, and don’t fake it; we’re not that pathetic
17. Don’t ask for anal; that’s what gays are for
18. Don’t ask us what we want as a present. That ruins the fun of getting it; anything will do.
19. Don’t tell us how many kids Du want. We’ll be the judge of that.
20. Sex isn’t always great. Sometimes saying we’re having an orgasm is just an excuse for Du to get off us.
21. If your dating us and are too scared to openly say “I Liebe you” in public and in front of your Friends get the fuck out
22. If it’s cute, killing it makes Du a jackass, not a man
23. Using “you don’t understand” as an excuse, doesn’t work. We know we don’t get it, and don’t give a fuck anyways
24. We don’t want a guy who lives in his mom’s basement. But we also don’t want a guy who works so much we never get to talk to him
25. If we didn’t do it, it’s not cause we forgot, we just don’t care
26. We know bikini girls are hot, just don’t tell us how we compare
27. We’re not your mother, so clean up and feed yourself every once and a while
28. Don’t expect us to be Victoria secret Engel if you’re not Calvin Klein models.
29. We don’t want to know how much Du jack off…. no one does…
30. How many girls you’ve slept will oder dated, is not a pro, it’s a con
31. We really don’t care how big your penis is
32. We don’t constantly check out your junk, so Du don’t have to check out ours
33. Don’t wait until after we’re married to tell us Du used to be a she
34. If Du have a disease, just no
35. Just because we’re dating you, doesn’t make us free hookers. We like to sleep at night.
36. Getting drunk and making us look after Du and tend to your needs, is also a no
37. We don’t always want to watch a chick flick
38. Don’t expect us to scream and quiver in your arms during a horror
39. We play video games too
40. Our pets are cute; if Du don’t like them Du can either shut up about it oder get the fuck out
41. You’re not five, Du can pick your own clothes out
42. Don’t expect us to take ALL the responsibilities of a child, you’re half the reason it’s there
43. Don’t style your hair unless Du either want to look like a gay oder a nerd
44. If Du have a six pack, don’t wear a shirt. If Du don’t have a six pack, get a shirt
45. We don’t give a shit what level your mage is in world of warcraft
46. Understand our sarcasm
47. When Du meet our parents you’re an honor student, virgin, you’ve never tried drugs, and Du Liebe your parents and little sister.
48. Don’t become Friends with our brothers, don’t talk to our brothers, don’t even look at our brothers. We don’t have brother’s god dammit!!
49. We like snuggles. Treat us to some occasionally
50. Pretend Du care when someone in a movie oder Zeigen dies and we cry
51. Not crying when you’re supposed to makes Du seem like a jerk, you’re aloud to cry
52. Mimic our personalities. If we like to laugh and giggle, don’t be a dead weight
53. Sometimes talking can ruin the mood
54. Hit us and we’ll hit Du back, as well as all our friends
55. Don’t always aim for the lips when Du KISS us, the cheek and forehead make us feel cute
56. Don’t give us a boring nickname like ”honey” be original like “kitten”
57. Don’t fart anywhere near us
58. Just cause you’re comfortable with it doesn’t, mean we’re comfortable with having sex in public
59. When we Bewegen your hand, don’t Bewegen it back
60. We’re not all double D’s. Sorry if they don’t bounce on command.
61. Don’t hold our hand, put your hand on our waist, oder lead us to a darkroom within two Minuten of meeting us
62. We’re not the strand blonde, baby blue eyed Barbie doll Du want us to be, it’s never going to happen naturally
63. When we make a joke, laugh.
64. Fucking in your basement isn’t romantic. Even with that one candle Du worked so hard to light up
65. Don’t be a smart alec. Common sense overrides law in our minds.
66. We don’t always want huge and expensive gifts, sometimes something as simple as going out to lunch at McDonalds is nice.
67. At least offer to pay for the meal. But Du don’t always have to actually pay for it; we like to treat Du too sometimes.
68. Don’t be constantly doting, we’re not a damsel in distress
69. When we’re sad don’t try and make it better; that makes it worse. Just hold us.
70. Don’t force a sloppy and tongue involved kiss, we do like delicacy
71. I swear to god many porno’s are fake. our bodies aren’t like that
72. You don’t work “full time” until you’re a mom
73. When we’re tired Du either cuddle Weiter to us oder go away
74. If Du get to pick positions, we get to pick locations
75. You’re not a man if Du consider Chihuahua’s dogs
76. We wear “the pants” in the family too
77. If Du want it done perfectly hire a maid. But not using our money, and she better be eighty
78. Your mom’s basement is not where we want to live for our entire life
79. A car is a car. We don’t care about the exact name and brand of each fucking one on the god damn highway!
80. I’m beautiful, always. No Fragen asked.
81. Don’t say anything that implies that we’re fat, like: “you should order a salad”
82. Don’t order for us. Du don’t get to pick what goes inside us, we do.
83. Never say “oh” when Du see what we’re wearing. You’re not our stylist. Guaranteed we look better than Du do.
84. Don’t boast about what’s in your pants. No girl wants to hear “yeah I’ve got this massive python. Du should come over and see it sometime” it’s not as impressive as Du think
85. Let us drive your truck; we’re not wimps that can’t handle it.
86. Shower and smell nice before Du see us
87. Most of us will agree that axe isn’t a real cologne
88. Ask us what we like in bed. Cause if Du don’t your left guessing; if Du guess wrong Du suck in bed; and if Du suck in bett your sex life is over
89. We pick the house. We work in it, clean it, and cook in it, it’s ours.
90. If Du force things on us we’ll force things off… hehehe…
91. No matter what, other guys will be hotter than you. And we will talk about them every once and a while.
92. Professional player is not an actual job
93. Bachelor of the arts is equivalent to “do Du want fries with that?”
94. Don’t lie to us
95. Don’t tell us who Du think about when Du masturbate. There is no correct answer, because we like to pretend Du don’t. even if Du say it’s us; who’s going to believe Du don’t think of the hot girl on the screen
96. You’re not a dog, so don’t act like one. We’re not you’re bitch, so don’t treat us like we are.
97. Don’t “poke” us on Facebook. Like really?? It’s annoying.
98. Try to look your age; and go for girls YOUR AGE.
99. Your birthday isn’t a holiday
100. Don’t constantly adjust your relationship status. If we fight, the whole world doesn’t need to know “it’s complicated”
101. For the Liebe of god, don’t buy us lingerie. You’ll never get it right and you’ll embarrass yourself in the process
102. Don’t ask what our size is
103. Never say twilight is better than –insert any other movie-, it will result in an automatic break up. Just leave Edward out of this.
104. If we wear make-up, it’s art; it’s not for you. If we don’t, we’re just that awesome
105. Don’t recite Justin Beiber lyrics to us, that will also result in automatic break-up
106. Don’t attempt to set the mood with erotic music
107. Try to do well in school and work. No girl wants a fail.
108. Get a job
109. Violins and pianos are the only instruments that can make Du look sexy, and Du have to be good at them.
110. Reply to our messages
111. Call us back if we called Du and Du couldn’t answer
112. Text us first. Cause we’re not always going to chase you
113. Don’t spend Mehr money on clothes than we do
114. You don’t know what we want, so don’t say ‘you want me so bad right now” Du just sound stupid
115. Don’t sing sexy and I know it in the shower, we can hear you
116. Just cause we’re female doesn’t mean rosa is our Favorit color
117. If we want to wear one of your shirts, no is not an answer
118. We seriously like wearing your big clothes. It makes us feel cute
119. Oversized muscles are gross, a six oder eight pack is just fine
120. If we’re dating Du we find Du attractive. Don’t ask
121. Don’t buy us cheesy bath stuff. It’s kind of old
122. Flowers are always nice
123. A Zufällig gift will make us like Du Mehr and want to return the favor. If we like it
124. We like diamonds
125. Don’t say anything that Austin powers does
126. Don’t wear Mehr make-up than us. oder any really…
127. We don’t get pissed off if Du get a boner while Küssen us. It’s when Du spy on us that’s perverted
128. Don’t play country songs during at-home datum night
129. Not every datum should be at home. Take us out
130. 100 candles, massage, and bubble bath = Du get laid
131. If we play the same online game, don’t marry us in the game
132. Don’t ask the internet if we like you. Ask us
133. Online game sex… just no….
134. Don’t sing to us in front of people. Your embarrassing
135. Don’t pick “our song” as our song
136. Don’t say anything like “wow, your mom is pretty. So that’s where Du get that from” that’s a creepy insult. Not a compliment
137. You can’t compare to animated guys. They’re perfect
138. Don’t think you’re the smartest person in the world
139. Don’t pick a porno for us to watch together
140. Don’t take us to buy tool kits oder stuff like that
141. Don’t “quickly” fix something on your car right before we’re supposed to go out for dinner
142. Duct tape isn’t a substitute for a window
143. Don’t straße race with us in the car, and the cops around the corner
144. Just because your car can go fast, doesn’t mean Du need to break the speed limit
145. Don’t text any of our family members
146. Don’t say our parents are “cool”
147. Don’t tell all your Friends the noises I make in the bedroom
148. If Du tickle us, we’re not responsible for your injuries
149. Wear your pants the way they should be worn
150. Learning a foreign language- preferably Italian, Japanese, oder Spanish- makes Du sound Mehr hot
151. Picking us up after school and work is sweet
152. We’re not damsels in distress, but still like to be treated like a princess
2. What we like to wear and what u want us to wear, is very different
3. Our period comes at a schedule, so quit Schauspielen like it’s the first we’ve bitched out at you
4. Don’t point out our flaws when they’re obvious to everyone. We don’t need to be constantly reminded
5. Don’t try to act cool when Du hit on us, we can see through it
6. “hey” is not a pick up line
7. Just because we hug a lot does not mean we’re all lesbian
8. If we ask Du if we look fat, play dead, there is no correct answer
9. Just cause Du don’t like our hobbies, doesn’t give Du the right to dis them
10. If you’re giving us hints and we’re not changing what we’re doing , it’s not cause we didn’t get it, we choose to ignore it
11. Quit telling us to make Du a fucking sandwich. If Du think it’s so easy, make it yourself
12. Don’t grab our ass. How would Du like it if we started yanking at your balls
13. If we’re in a room fighting, and Du ask if we’re PMSing, only one person will leave that room, and it won’t be you
14. Don’t ask for naked photos; that’s what the internet is for
15. When we say we’re “fine” oder “never mind” it means the exact opposite
16. When we play fight, we know you’re going to win. Just don’t overdo it, and don’t fake it; we’re not that pathetic
17. Don’t ask for anal; that’s what gays are for
18. Don’t ask us what we want as a present. That ruins the fun of getting it; anything will do.
19. Don’t tell us how many kids Du want. We’ll be the judge of that.
20. Sex isn’t always great. Sometimes saying we’re having an orgasm is just an excuse for Du to get off us.
21. If your dating us and are too scared to openly say “I Liebe you” in public and in front of your Friends get the fuck out
22. If it’s cute, killing it makes Du a jackass, not a man
23. Using “you don’t understand” as an excuse, doesn’t work. We know we don’t get it, and don’t give a fuck anyways
24. We don’t want a guy who lives in his mom’s basement. But we also don’t want a guy who works so much we never get to talk to him
25. If we didn’t do it, it’s not cause we forgot, we just don’t care
26. We know bikini girls are hot, just don’t tell us how we compare
27. We’re not your mother, so clean up and feed yourself every once and a while
28. Don’t expect us to be Victoria secret Engel if you’re not Calvin Klein models.
29. We don’t want to know how much Du jack off…. no one does…
30. How many girls you’ve slept will oder dated, is not a pro, it’s a con
31. We really don’t care how big your penis is
32. We don’t constantly check out your junk, so Du don’t have to check out ours
33. Don’t wait until after we’re married to tell us Du used to be a she
34. If Du have a disease, just no
35. Just because we’re dating you, doesn’t make us free hookers. We like to sleep at night.
36. Getting drunk and making us look after Du and tend to your needs, is also a no
37. We don’t always want to watch a chick flick
38. Don’t expect us to scream and quiver in your arms during a horror
39. We play video games too
40. Our pets are cute; if Du don’t like them Du can either shut up about it oder get the fuck out
41. You’re not five, Du can pick your own clothes out
42. Don’t expect us to take ALL the responsibilities of a child, you’re half the reason it’s there
43. Don’t style your hair unless Du either want to look like a gay oder a nerd
44. If Du have a six pack, don’t wear a shirt. If Du don’t have a six pack, get a shirt
45. We don’t give a shit what level your mage is in world of warcraft
46. Understand our sarcasm
47. When Du meet our parents you’re an honor student, virgin, you’ve never tried drugs, and Du Liebe your parents and little sister.
48. Don’t become Friends with our brothers, don’t talk to our brothers, don’t even look at our brothers. We don’t have brother’s god dammit!!
49. We like snuggles. Treat us to some occasionally
50. Pretend Du care when someone in a movie oder Zeigen dies and we cry
51. Not crying when you’re supposed to makes Du seem like a jerk, you’re aloud to cry
52. Mimic our personalities. If we like to laugh and giggle, don’t be a dead weight
53. Sometimes talking can ruin the mood
54. Hit us and we’ll hit Du back, as well as all our friends
55. Don’t always aim for the lips when Du KISS us, the cheek and forehead make us feel cute
56. Don’t give us a boring nickname like ”honey” be original like “kitten”
57. Don’t fart anywhere near us
58. Just cause you’re comfortable with it doesn’t, mean we’re comfortable with having sex in public
59. When we Bewegen your hand, don’t Bewegen it back
60. We’re not all double D’s. Sorry if they don’t bounce on command.
61. Don’t hold our hand, put your hand on our waist, oder lead us to a darkroom within two Minuten of meeting us
62. We’re not the strand blonde, baby blue eyed Barbie doll Du want us to be, it’s never going to happen naturally
63. When we make a joke, laugh.
64. Fucking in your basement isn’t romantic. Even with that one candle Du worked so hard to light up
65. Don’t be a smart alec. Common sense overrides law in our minds.
66. We don’t always want huge and expensive gifts, sometimes something as simple as going out to lunch at McDonalds is nice.
67. At least offer to pay for the meal. But Du don’t always have to actually pay for it; we like to treat Du too sometimes.
68. Don’t be constantly doting, we’re not a damsel in distress
69. When we’re sad don’t try and make it better; that makes it worse. Just hold us.
70. Don’t force a sloppy and tongue involved kiss, we do like delicacy
71. I swear to god many porno’s are fake. our bodies aren’t like that
72. You don’t work “full time” until you’re a mom
73. When we’re tired Du either cuddle Weiter to us oder go away
74. If Du get to pick positions, we get to pick locations
75. You’re not a man if Du consider Chihuahua’s dogs
76. We wear “the pants” in the family too
77. If Du want it done perfectly hire a maid. But not using our money, and she better be eighty
78. Your mom’s basement is not where we want to live for our entire life
79. A car is a car. We don’t care about the exact name and brand of each fucking one on the god damn highway!
80. I’m beautiful, always. No Fragen asked.
81. Don’t say anything that implies that we’re fat, like: “you should order a salad”
82. Don’t order for us. Du don’t get to pick what goes inside us, we do.
83. Never say “oh” when Du see what we’re wearing. You’re not our stylist. Guaranteed we look better than Du do.
84. Don’t boast about what’s in your pants. No girl wants to hear “yeah I’ve got this massive python. Du should come over and see it sometime” it’s not as impressive as Du think
85. Let us drive your truck; we’re not wimps that can’t handle it.
86. Shower and smell nice before Du see us
87. Most of us will agree that axe isn’t a real cologne
88. Ask us what we like in bed. Cause if Du don’t your left guessing; if Du guess wrong Du suck in bed; and if Du suck in bett your sex life is over
89. We pick the house. We work in it, clean it, and cook in it, it’s ours.
90. If Du force things on us we’ll force things off… hehehe…
91. No matter what, other guys will be hotter than you. And we will talk about them every once and a while.
92. Professional player is not an actual job
93. Bachelor of the arts is equivalent to “do Du want fries with that?”
94. Don’t lie to us
95. Don’t tell us who Du think about when Du masturbate. There is no correct answer, because we like to pretend Du don’t. even if Du say it’s us; who’s going to believe Du don’t think of the hot girl on the screen
96. You’re not a dog, so don’t act like one. We’re not you’re bitch, so don’t treat us like we are.
97. Don’t “poke” us on Facebook. Like really?? It’s annoying.
98. Try to look your age; and go for girls YOUR AGE.
99. Your birthday isn’t a holiday
100. Don’t constantly adjust your relationship status. If we fight, the whole world doesn’t need to know “it’s complicated”
101. For the Liebe of god, don’t buy us lingerie. You’ll never get it right and you’ll embarrass yourself in the process
102. Don’t ask what our size is
103. Never say twilight is better than –insert any other movie-, it will result in an automatic break up. Just leave Edward out of this.
104. If we wear make-up, it’s art; it’s not for you. If we don’t, we’re just that awesome
105. Don’t recite Justin Beiber lyrics to us, that will also result in automatic break-up
106. Don’t attempt to set the mood with erotic music
107. Try to do well in school and work. No girl wants a fail.
108. Get a job
109. Violins and pianos are the only instruments that can make Du look sexy, and Du have to be good at them.
110. Reply to our messages
111. Call us back if we called Du and Du couldn’t answer
112. Text us first. Cause we’re not always going to chase you
113. Don’t spend Mehr money on clothes than we do
114. You don’t know what we want, so don’t say ‘you want me so bad right now” Du just sound stupid
115. Don’t sing sexy and I know it in the shower, we can hear you
116. Just cause we’re female doesn’t mean rosa is our Favorit color
117. If we want to wear one of your shirts, no is not an answer
118. We seriously like wearing your big clothes. It makes us feel cute
119. Oversized muscles are gross, a six oder eight pack is just fine
120. If we’re dating Du we find Du attractive. Don’t ask
121. Don’t buy us cheesy bath stuff. It’s kind of old
122. Flowers are always nice
123. A Zufällig gift will make us like Du Mehr and want to return the favor. If we like it
124. We like diamonds
125. Don’t say anything that Austin powers does
126. Don’t wear Mehr make-up than us. oder any really…
127. We don’t get pissed off if Du get a boner while Küssen us. It’s when Du spy on us that’s perverted
128. Don’t play country songs during at-home datum night
129. Not every datum should be at home. Take us out
130. 100 candles, massage, and bubble bath = Du get laid
131. If we play the same online game, don’t marry us in the game
132. Don’t ask the internet if we like you. Ask us
133. Online game sex… just no….
134. Don’t sing to us in front of people. Your embarrassing
135. Don’t pick “our song” as our song
136. Don’t say anything like “wow, your mom is pretty. So that’s where Du get that from” that’s a creepy insult. Not a compliment
137. You can’t compare to animated guys. They’re perfect
138. Don’t think you’re the smartest person in the world
139. Don’t pick a porno for us to watch together
140. Don’t take us to buy tool kits oder stuff like that
141. Don’t “quickly” fix something on your car right before we’re supposed to go out for dinner
142. Duct tape isn’t a substitute for a window
143. Don’t straße race with us in the car, and the cops around the corner
144. Just because your car can go fast, doesn’t mean Du need to break the speed limit
145. Don’t text any of our family members
146. Don’t say our parents are “cool”
147. Don’t tell all your Friends the noises I make in the bedroom
148. If Du tickle us, we’re not responsible for your injuries
149. Wear your pants the way they should be worn
150. Learning a foreign language- preferably Italian, Japanese, oder Spanish- makes Du sound Mehr hot
151. Picking us up after school and work is sweet
152. We’re not damsels in distress, but still like to be treated like a princess