Ryuk: (Sits on hill) ………….. Goddamn, I’m bored
(Meanwhile)
Light: (In class) Goddamn I’m bored
Teacher: Light, seeing as Du are the smartest student in the class-
Student: (On DS) I choose Du Pikachu
Teacher: And I do mean that a lot… Can Du read the Weiter passage
Light: (Stands up) ….. No (Sits down)
Teacher: ……. (I hate my life)
Light: (Looks outside to see a book) It’s raining-
Writer: NO, WE’RE NOT DOING THAT JOKE! EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DEATH NOTE ABRIDGED SERIES USES IT! I’M FUCKING SICK OF IT
Light: Okay, fine. Geez. Teacher, may I be excused
Teacher: No
Light:...

(Dead bodies everywhere)
Kurama: (Looks around) Dear God
Guard 1: All right men, this specimen is extremely dangerous. And for many reasons. One is that they can kill a man in seconds. Two is that they can block bullets. And three, and this is the big one, she is very distracting
Guard 2: How is she distract-(Lucy rips guards head off)
Guard 2: Oh my God……. She’s topless (Other guards talk in excitement) Oh, and she can kill people with her mind (Guards talk with less interest) But SHE’S TOPLESS (Guards get excited again) Lets just stay here awhile. What’s the worst that could hap-...

Cody: So why are we at a bank
Wind: Because unlike you, I don’t have my entire life savings in a sock
Cody: Hey, that is a very secure sock
Wind: Whatever (Heads to the counter) Hello, I would like to deposit this money
Bank Accountant: So, you’d like to give it all away
Wind: No, deposit
Bank Accountant: So, give it away
Wind: NO, Du FUCKING IDIO-
Bank Robber: (Walks in with a gun) Okay, everyone, put all the money in the bag and don’t give me any shit
Wind: Who do Du think Du are
Bank Robber: A guy with a gu- (The gun gets knocked out of his hand Von Wind, who is now holding a knife)
Wind: Incase...

Wind: (Smokes cigarette)
Cody: Hey, queer
Wind: Hello, failed abortion
Cody: Du know, Du shouldn’t be smoking. The School-Fags will find out
Wind: Like I care about some fucking school people
Hall Monitor: Hey, put out that cigarette
Wind: Gladly (Puts cigarette out on the Hall Monitors hand)
Hall Monitor: (Screams in pain)
Cody: Hey, did Du hear about that new kid. I hear he is a real perv
Wind: Incase Du forgot, everyone is too scared of me to even get two feet near me to tell me anything
Cody: Oh, here he comes right now (Kid walks by)
Kid: Hey, I’m James
Wind: Hey, I don’t care
James: (Snickers)...

Announcer 1: Hello everyone, and welcome to another game of High school Baseball. I’m Dave Davidson
Announcer 2: And I’m John Johnson
Dave: And we got a real good game for Du all today. It’s the Trenton Democrats against their rivals, the, and I can’t believe this is the team name, oxford Fascist Fuckers
John: That’s right, Dave. And it looks like the Fascist Fuckers who are gonna get fucked
Dave: Kinda like your ex-wife
John: Very true. Now, lets look at the best players. For the Trenton Democrats, we have Little Ray, with a height of over 7’5
Dave: I still don’t get why they call...

Wind: (Sits in chair)
Cody: Hey, Faggot, how’s it going
Wind: I got a name. Try using it once in a while
Cody: Anyway, where’s Mr. Queerface
Wind: One, that isn’t his name, and two, he’s not here today, so we have a substitute
Substitute: (Smiles) Hello, class, my name is Mr. Smith
Wind: Wow. That is a terrible last name
Smith: (Smiles) And today, we will be talking about Hitler’s invasion of Europe
Wind: Oh, it’s about time. I thought we would just keep hearing about the Great Depression the whole quarter
Cody: Hold on, why should we listen to Mr. Queerbait here
Smith: (A somewhat angry...

Wind: Okay, now, there is this asshole who calls himself Prince, and I am going to get rid of him. And… this is literally all I have (Looks to see that the only ones helping him are Cody, Amanda, and their teacher) And what the hell is our teacher doing here
Teacher: The bar was closed, so I came here
Wind: Whatever. Anyway, what should we do to get rid of Prince. There are no wrong answers
Cody: We could put Süßigkeiten on the floor and lead him to a box (Wind picks up a rock and throws it at Cody) OW
Wind: Except for everything Du say, Cody. Everything Du say is a wrong answer. Does anyone ELSE...

Wind: (Walks into the school building) Goddamn, if I have to hear Mehr stupid shit today, I am going to lose my mind (Walks in to see all the students wearing uniforms)
Cody: Hi, sir
Wind: Sir? That isn’t what Du usually say. What’s going on
Cody: Didn’t Du hear. There is this new guy who came to school. He’s been turning the whole school into some sort of monarchy
Wind: … how the fuck do Du know the word “monarchy”, and how come no one told me this
(Flashback)
Wind: (Cellphone rings)
Cody: Hey Wind, guess what
Wind: No
Cody: Okay, bye (Hangs up)
(End of flashback)
Wind: And Du think...

Teacher: Alright, listen up class
Cody: What is it, Mr. Faggot
Teacher: Du will all be having a fundraiser. Each of Du will be gegeben a box and Du will need to go door to door and sell them. The oben, nach oben seller-
Wind: Okay, I’ll sell them
Teacher: ….. The oben, nach oben seller will win a prize
(After school)
Cody: (Carrying box) So, all we have to do is sell everything inside this box and we’ll get our prize
Wind: Oh, fuck the prize. I just want to win and be the superior
Cody: Okay, just let me do the talking (Knocks on door)
Woman: Hello
Cody: Hi, uh… wait, what were we supposed to say
Woman: (Closes door)...

Cody: (Walking with Wind through the rain) So, Du could say that the rain is the tears of the sky
Wind: (Trying to stay under umbrella, as he hates getting wet) Uh, sure
Cody: So, why is the sky crying? Did the sun beat the sky for making shit tasting coffee
Wind: Du make up the strangest conversations
Bully: Oh, well if it isn’t Blow-dy and his fag friend, WindwakerGAY
Cody: Hey, I’m the only one who says fag around here, fag
Wind: Well, if it isn’t the hairless gorilla, what do Du want now
Bully: Well, I read online that a kid killed himself due to cyberbullying. So, I already gepostet that...

Wind: (Punches a guy hard in the face) And Weiter time, count your fucking money before Du get to the counter (Walks off)
Cody: Jesus. Du just schlagen, punsch whoever Du want, do you
Wind: Duh. If I hurt people verbally, it would be bad
Cody: Really how
Wind: Well, I once insulted seven people, and made all of them cry. Three of them tried to kill themselves. In a fight, however, it’s ME who is killing them, and not themselves
Cody: Uh… huh
Wind: Now, shut up, I want to get home, and- (Man bumps into him) Did Du just fucking bump into me
Man: Yeah, I did. What are Du gonna do about- (Wind punches him...

Wind: (Walking down hall when a girl bumps into him) Damn it, what where you’re going
Girl: Du watch where you’re going
Wind: ……. Who are Du anyway
Girl: I am Amanda. I am the leader of the book club-
Wind: Stopped caring (Starts walking off)
Amanda: Hey, what do Du say we ditch class and have some fun
Wind: Du had me at ditch class
(Later, at a bowling alley)
Wind: So, when does the fun start
Amanda: Oh, silly. It started hours ago
Wind: Oh… (Sarcastic) Guess I missed that part
Amanda: Hey, can I ask Du a favor
Wind: If I say no, will you-
Amanda: Great, I need Du to do something for me...