Paul Crewe:You took a shit in my toilet?
Caretaker:No, that's what I left in Brucey's toilet.
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Paul Crewe:[after being pulled over Von cops]:Here, Du can finish this bier for me... I've got five more!
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Cheeseburger Eddy:Gimme that chesseburger. Du Schauspielen like a real McAsshole.
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Big Tony:[reading sign] Foot... ball... tree... outs. What the hell's a tree-out?
Brucie: It's try-out, Du half a meatball.
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Caretaker:Check me, check me.
Half a star? Check it again.
Uh ah. That aint right. I'm gonna have to stab somebody to get my rep. up.
Skitchy RiversHow about we have a maniacal kissen fight tonight? That should boost your rep.
Superstar vs. Half-a-Star.
Caretaker:Hey old man. How bout Du shut-up before I slit your throat and watch the dust come out?
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Switowski:Will Du teach me to football?
Paul Crewe:Sure we'll teach Du to football. Won't we Caretaker?
Caretaker:I'll teach Du anything. Just don't eat me.
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Caretaker:Yo man, that's my flyer, man. I worked hard on that. Du see he ran like a little hündin right? Du saw that right?
[Cheeseburger Eddy gets in his face]
Caretaker:Yo, the team needs you. Team needs you. You-you should come-come to the tree-outs.
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Cheeseburger Eddy:It ain't easy, being cheesy!
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Caretaker:[introducing himself to Crewe]Whatever your pleasure, I can facilitate. Du need weed, Du need meth- hey, Du need Prozac, I'm your man. I know how Du white boys always deal with that depression. I mean me personally, I don't understand what Du white boys are all depressed about. Hey, you're white! Smile!
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Caretaker:Who we gonna crush?
Prisoners:The guards!
Caretaker: Who we gonna kill?
Prisoners:The guards!
Caretaker: Who we gonna kiss?
Brucie:The guards!
Caretaker:Gotcha.
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Caretaker:I don't give a shit! O.J chopped his wife's head off and still got some ass!
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