THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, BUT THE LEAST ROMANTIC Sekunde LINE:
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying Du screwed up my life.
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything Du are not.
Liebe may be beautiful, Liebe may be bliss,
But I only slept with Du 'cause I was pissed.
I thought that I could Liebe no other --
That is until I met your brother.
Rosen are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the Rosen are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty, and so is your head.
I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.
I Liebe your smile, your face, and your eyes –
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
My love, Du take my breath away.
What have Du stepped in to smell this way?
My feelings for Du no words can tell,
Except for maybe 'Go to hell.'
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.
