"Ugh, Carl, why is the lifeboat all red and sticky?"
"Well, I guess you could say it is red and sticky."
"Carl, what are we standing in?"
"Would you believe it's strawberry milkshake?"
"No, I would not believe that."
"Melted gumdrops?"
"No."
"Boat nectar?"
"No."
"Some of God's tears?"
"Tell me the truth, Carl!"
"Fine. It's the lovely elderly couple from 2B."
"CARL!"
"They were hogging all the crescent rolls."

Lol epic. That is the sound of forgiveness. That's the sound of people drowning Carl. That... is what forgiveness sounds like. Screaming and then silence.

"A dollop of fairy dust. I ripped a tag off a mattress."

"Friendship is two pals munching on a well-cooked face together."

whoa that is a foot i have appeared too have swallowed an entire person.
that would be the hotel bartender.
well that explains why my mohito was taking so long
it was horrifying you mouth unhinged like a snake