Mother was a handful as usual and as usual she was able to find fault with everything I did.
I am the "Dean of Medicine", graduated medical school in the oben, nach oben of my class, and I run a hospital and it is still not enough to earn her respect.
She called me a slut. How could she actually call me....?
Then there is House. Du were going to stand up for me. Du felt defensive of me. I should tell Du that I loved the way that felt. Du whom I have loved forever and wanted to pay some attention to me. Du felt like a hero to me in that moment. I know Du needed time alone. I have done nothing but order Du around and keep Du jumping through hoops.
I don't know why everything Du do makes me Mehr afraid that this is not what Du want. I wish I could tell Du that I am scared. I have never wanted many things in my life. My life has been based on gaining approval. But, "I want you." I have always wanted you.
"I am screwing this up." I am screwing us up.
I wish I could tell Du that when Du walk into the room I just want to touch you. I think about what it feels like when your lips brush across mine. I can feel Du inside me and how amziing Du feel to me. I can feel Du in my core. The moment that Du took me in your arms and Du picked up and I laid underneath you. I never imagined that Du would feel so good to me. I felt like I was.........................Home.
I knew from the beginning that Tag in the bookstore I would never meet another man that I wanted the way I wanted you. But I know it doesn't seem that way. Lately I can't hold a smile. Lately...... Lately I am so afraid Du will find out I am not what Du want. Du will realize I am not good enough.
She put her head in her hands and tears began streaming down her face. I need Du House. I need Du so much. Please ........
At that moment she felt a hand touch her. She didn't jump because she knew the touch.
Cuddy come here. House pulled her up gently and he sat down and she sat in his lap and she buried her head in his shoulder. He held her and he rocked as she cried.
Cuddy talk to me. Tell me what's wrong.
She just hung on to him tighter and cried harder.
Why are Du so upset now? Is it because I drugged your mother oder I tried to get out of being here? I am sorry. Cuddy do Du want out of this?
She raised up and she put her hand on his face. Maybe that would be the best. Maybe this is just Mehr than Du can handle.
With that he stood up. "What?!" Mehr than I can handle? I am not the one who looks miserable all the time oder barks out orders like they are a drill instructor. Du wait on me to screw up oder to let Du down.
House maybe that is why Du lied to me oder tried to get out of my birthday dinner. Du are just sabtoging this.
Again with the lying. Cuddy I did that to save my patient. I didn't tell Du afterwards because Du made a production out of me respecting your wishes. I didn't want to hurt you. I didn't want to hurt us. I didn't want to lose you.
I drugged your mother because I didn't want to spend the evening with her and her ranting. I didn't want to listen to Wilson whining.
For someone who didn't want me to change Du have done nothing but try to change me. I feel like I am on a tightrope.
Well Du can leave. Du don't have to be here. Du are free to leave anytime Du want. I have always survived. I cried myself to sleep many nights because of you. One Mehr is not really a big deal.
He approached her and she tried to pull away but he held on. I don't want to leave Cuddy. I.....
We have everything but the truth Cuddy.
"Cuddy what is the truth?" He put his finger under her jaw and raised her face upward until their eyes met.
"I can't..................."
"Cuddy", the truth?
Her eyes were so full of fear and then she just sagte it.
I'm afraid!!! ok I am afraid.
Du are not the only one who is broken and screwed up. I am so in Liebe with you. Du were my Fantasy House. Du were in my head and now Du are in my............ And again the tears streamed down her face.
You're in my herz now and I don't know how to deal with it. I know what it feels like to be touched Von Du and how Du feel when Du make Liebe to me and I can't imagine how that would feel if I...... if I lost........
He wrapped his arms around her little frame and sighed and as he began to speak a tear escaped his eyes.
Cuddy I was drowning in my self pity and my pills and Du put your faith in me and Du found a way to breathe life back into me. That chasm that we talked about a few years ago; Du turned a deaf ear to it and Du just dealt with me from your heart.
I am a different man now. I am here because I want to be here and I am trying to reach you. Cuddy come here to me.
Cuddy, "I Liebe you. He led her to the Piano and he began to play.
"Wilson had it sent over from his condo to Cuddy's." It was therapuetic for House and Wilson had bought for him.
As he played the tension in her body eased and she watched his hands Bewegen across the keys.
"That is beautiful House. What is it?
"Cuddy's Serenade." I composed it the night of Rachel's Simchat.
"What?"
I wrote it that night.
House I wanted to invite you. "I wanted Du there." I didn't know how to say it oder how to ask you.
There was a moment that I realized Du had always been there to save me Cuddy and Du took the hit and my wrath. I realized how much Du have gegeben up and sacrificed for me. Du put yourself out there for this hospital, patients, and for me.
I was so mad at Du about the surgery Du did but Du did it to save my life. Du knew I would be furious.
House did Du forgive me?
Cuddy Du have been there every step and took everything I had to dish out. The Frage is now,
"can Du forgive me?"
"I Liebe Du Cuddy." "The way Du draw your bottom lip in when Du want something and Du don't know how to ask for it. The way Du raise your eyebrow and square your shoulders when Du are trying to put your foot down. The way Du flirt with me and even the way Du look at me at the abendessen tabelle when I am getting ready to put your mother in her place."
"House", I thought Du wanted the night alone.
"That's the thing Cuddy." I am never alone. I don't feel alone and I like the way that feels. The only thing I could think of anyway was Du naked. So here I am.
"She laughed" and then she laughed harder. He watched her but then as he was watching her he just leaned into her. Cuddy I want you.
House Du always want sex.
No. I want you. I want Du to hear Du laugh. I want Du to stop preparing for defeat and open up to me. I want Du to wear low cut blouses to get my attention. I want Du to put me in my place when I am being a jerk. I want Du to let me in.
"House." And she drew her bottom lip in as she stood up. She raised up on her tip toes and she kissed him. She took his hand and led him to the bedroom and began to undress him and with all abandon she made Liebe to him.
She left him breathless all night.
They were slowly forming a bond and they were beginnning to Zeigen they had the ability to bend and not break.
As the light came in from the morning sun they looked at each other and they realized this was a new Tag and a chance to make history.
"Their history."
