This is a song "Everything Trying" maybe while Du read Du could listen to this.
As she was wrapping up for the Tag Cuddy was trying to get her work packed up to go home. A Tag that had been filled with nurses complaints of House’s inappropriate comments, requests for massage chairs, complaints of House's pill popping, over spendage on budgets, and refereeing arguements had completely stripped her of every nerve in her body. Wilson words were continually ringing in her head; “things were getting back to normal.“ Von all appearances to others in the hospital they were. Cuddy knew that things would never be normal and they couldn’t go backwards. House was behaving like a wounded lion who was not about to let anyone get close enough to remove the thorn.
As she walked to her front door it was quiet. Julia was keeping Rachel a few days so Cuddy could recuperate from surgery. As she sat down with some work from the office the thoughts of the Tag began coursing through her brain.
She knew somehow House would be reckless but she never dreamed he would take it this far. She had tried for two weeks to allow him the room to do whatever he needed to do to come to terms with their break-up. If his goal was to crush her and hurt her he was succeeding. She was trying so hard to let him schlagen, punsch himself out hoping that maybe they would be able to work through this. House had shown great resilience in his rebellion though.
Twenty years of knowing this man and probably loving this man had come to this. She had been through a lot of things with him. She had always found herself completely enamored with him. House had been cruel before and she had always been able to wade through all of his antics. Everything he had asked for she had gegeben him in an attempt to allow things to get back to “normal.” But there was no getting back to normal. She was in Liebe with House and if he wasn't going to make changes and continue with this onslaught she knew she woldn't be able to cope with it. He had let her in, as much as he knew how and she had decided she just couldn’t handle him and now she was the sole focus of his wrath.
She had told him that she didn’t want him to change and now she would live to regret those words oder even allowing herself to believe them. Somehow she thought that they were meant for each other and that time together would allow him to let her in and help him to open up to her. She thought her Liebe for him could soothe his soul.
Every step of the way at every crisis he had turned to some type of substance oder a lie. He had turned to anything but her. Every time she had needed him to just be there oder to comfort her he had continually played games. It was little things and it was big things but House couldn’t Zeigen up for either on a consistent basis. As much as she loved him the realization of knowing he could never give himself to her the way she had gegeben herself to him just came crashing down. She had opened every door to him and he had walked in and took the parts he wanted and left the rest.
Even now he had the choice of choosing to make a change oder fall back into the same patterns he had always followed. He had gone even further than she had imagined he could and marrying a hooker was the last straw. For whatever reason he had made a choice that could not be easily undone and coming off the heels of her surgery it was just Mehr than she was ready to deal with. Still, after all this, she couldn’t forget him.
As she thought back to the wedding and when she had retreated to House's bedroom and sat on his bett that evening she remembered their time together and she wondered how he could so quickly sleep with another woman. Had she really been so wrong in who she thought he was at the core?
As she laid on her bett she could still feel him. She still remembered the night that she went to him. That moment that was so tender and vulnerable she would forever hold in her heart. She could still feel her herz leap as he stood up from the floor and moved towards her. He put his hands on both sides of the Wand and just surrounded her. She trembled without even a touch from him. The closeness of this man alone was bringing her to the point of surrender. The feel of his lips barely grazing hers and the flood of passion as he deepened the KISS set a trembling in her body that was uncontrollable. She took great care in washing his face and moving down to clean the wound that he had suffered in the building collapse.
"House had made concessions that night that he knew he had made poor choices and that he was alone but he didn’t want to be anymore."
As he embraced her and lifted her into his arms she had felt so safe. As he kissed her and moved through and over her body she was completely captured and taken up Von this man’s touch and the feel of his body. As she thought of it now all she could do was cry. Nothing would ever taint the beauty of that moment.
She understood everything he was doing now was to ease the pain. But that was the problem he couldn’t allow himself to feel pain, to let anyone see how he really felt. He used games and his intelligence and logic to keep everyone at arm’s length and although she had spent the better part of ten years being his crutch, believing in him, and trying to penetrate that Wand that kept him from loving and being loved she knew she had crossed a line she could never go back over.
The Frage now was how much Mehr could she take and how much Mehr would he do before he cared about how he was hurting her? Would he come to the realization and stop in time oder would he destroy everything for good?
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