1. Offer him erdnuss butter fondant, fudge that Du cooked yourself, and tell him that Du named it Cornelius fondant, fudge because it’s "nutty." Make sure it’s sticky and overdone.

2. Tell him that limette, lime green isn’t really his color, and that he’s really Mehr of a winter.

3. Offer to take him to the mall to buy him some new clothes in different, Mehr flattering colors.

4. Try to get him to Mitmachen a conga line with Du and Voldemort and look very hurt if he refuses.

5. Tell him that "Scrimgeour always seemed like so much Mehr of an authoritative figure."

6. Make up a theme song for him to the tune of "The Brady Bunch" and sing it wherever he goes.

7. Make up flyers containing the printed version of the theme song and hand it out to important Ministry officials.

8. Try to get him to Mitmachen S.P.E.W., because "elves are people too!"

9. Paint a scar on your forehead and hop around singing, "We were telling the truth! We were telling the truth!" in an annoying, high pitched voice.

10. Give his bowler hat to the giant squid. If he gets mad at you, tell him that Du were just trying to Zeigen your care for all species. Make sure to stare at him with big, welpe eyes.