I didn't write this, I just thought it was really funny.
1. "What did I ever do to y..oh, nevermind."
2. "Oh, ha ha, Du got me!! Am I on Punk'd? Where's the camera guy, huh? Where!?"
3. "Wow, you're even dumber than Du look, and that's saying something. What kind of idiot tells their victim what they're about to do?! I'm ready for Du now!!" *Prepare yourself Von getting into various Matrix positions, beckon him with one finger*
4. "And she's all 'F.Y.I., he's so into me and not you.' and I'm all 'Yeah, right, whatever.' Oh, I'm sorry! Did Du say something?"
5. "Why do Du have to be so mean?!" *produce fake tears and throw a tantrum*
6. "Uh, I'm not here right now. Please leave a message after the beep. BEEEP!!!" *take off running*
7. *cackle with laughter* "You sound like a girl ! Hey honey, come listen to this guy talk!"
8. "My dear snake-man, I must say your manners are quite poor. I have just the thing!" *put on record and sing along* 'Please - say - please - and - thank Du for saying thank you!'
9. "Are Du a joke? Clearly you're a joke!"
10. "I'm sensing some self-confidence problems. I hear they have an excellent psychiatric ward at St. Mungo's...and while you're there, maybe Du could have them do something about your nose."
11. "Oh yeah, and you've told Harry that how many times now? I'm soooooo scared!"
