On my way to school.I heared my bf Adam saying he was going to breakup with me.I ran Home crying.I felt like screaming.My herz was broken.I cryed my herz out.I felt like killin meself.I felt like there was no other boy like Adam in the world.I thought Adam was the only guy for me.The Weiter Tag of school i talked to Adam .He sagte sorry Addie we are not bf and gf anymore.I ran back Home to talk to my mom.She sagte are Du nice to him.I sagte yes i am nice to him.She sagte Du may need another boyfriend.Addie sagte maybe i need a new boyfriend he is getting old.Addie showed up with her new friend Chad .When Adam seen Chad he was mad at Addie.Addie sagte she was so sorry.He sagte it was ok but they were not Friends anymore.Addie's herz was still broken.But she was still mad at him she was going to kill him.
I'm not a stranger
No I am yours
With crippled anger
And tears that still drip sore
A fragile frame aged
With misery
And when our eyes meet
I know Du see
I do not want to be afraid
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in
I'm tired of feeling so numb
Relief exists I find it when
I am cut
I may seem crazy
oder painfully shy
And these scars wouldn't be so hidden
If Du would just look me in the eye
I feel alone here and cold here
Though I don't want to die
But the only anesthetic that makes me feel anything kills inside
I do not want to be afraid
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in
I'm tired of feeling so numb
Relief exists I find it when
I am cut
Pain
I am not alone
I am not alone
I'm not a stranger
No I am yours
With crippled anger
And tears that still drip sore
But I do not want to be afraid
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in
I'm tired of feeling so numb
Relief exists I found it when
I was cut
No I am yours
With crippled anger
And tears that still drip sore
A fragile frame aged
With misery
And when our eyes meet
I know Du see
I do not want to be afraid
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in
I'm tired of feeling so numb
Relief exists I find it when
I am cut
I may seem crazy
oder painfully shy
And these scars wouldn't be so hidden
If Du would just look me in the eye
I feel alone here and cold here
Though I don't want to die
But the only anesthetic that makes me feel anything kills inside
I do not want to be afraid
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in
I'm tired of feeling so numb
Relief exists I find it when
I am cut
Pain
I am not alone
I am not alone
I'm not a stranger
No I am yours
With crippled anger
And tears that still drip sore
But I do not want to be afraid
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in
I'm tired of feeling so numb
Relief exists I found it when
I was cut
As the light shines
As the blood drips
And how the bird's fly
How it hurts when Du bleed
How it's sad when Du die
When she scream's Du sob
And how the baby cries
The pain is bad
Terrible for you
Du cut yourself
She stabbed the truth
She pray's for truth
Du try it yourself
Du pray for lies
It wouldn't be felt with delt
The moon is white
The sun is unknown
Your blood is red
Soon to be found
The longer it gets
The badder it is
The blacker the red
It will get the rest
Du get on your knees
It doesn't make sense
She should be the one
The defenision of death
To Liebe is difficult
To hate it possible
To Du it's everything
To her it's probable
As her tear's fall
As the light shines
As the blood drips
How she would cry
Now the never the better
Now the Liebe it ends
As she never would do it
And Du would have never of listened
They laugh and they joke when they push Du around,
They think It's funny when Du fall to the ground,
They're stupid... And strong,
But they run this prison called school,
The smart and the weak are just put in a box,
Only taken to suffer the mocking and beating of those around you,
To survive Du must take it... Let no one see the pain,
This makes nothing better!
To hold your emotions?!
To push them down deep?
This is not a solution!
This is a bomb,
Soon to be set... For when Du have nowhere to push something down Du burst out in sorrow and let them all out,
Du drown those around you,
Du Zeigen them this pain... But they laugh and they joke and it only gets worse,
And all of these problems... All start in the very... First... Line...
They think It's funny when Du fall to the ground,
They're stupid... And strong,
But they run this prison called school,
The smart and the weak are just put in a box,
Only taken to suffer the mocking and beating of those around you,
To survive Du must take it... Let no one see the pain,
This makes nothing better!
To hold your emotions?!
To push them down deep?
This is not a solution!
This is a bomb,
Soon to be set... For when Du have nowhere to push something down Du burst out in sorrow and let them all out,
Du drown those around you,
Du Zeigen them this pain... But they laugh and they joke and it only gets worse,
And all of these problems... All start in the very... First... Line...
When darkness enshrouds and there is nowhere to run... The Devil's laugh taunts me,
As it rings in my ear... It gets louder... Until it sounds like a roar,
I can hear no one speaking... My Friends are not there... All I can see are the Demons that have tormented me,
I want to fight back... I want to break free,
But those Demons surround me... They know I am maimed... They know i am wounded... They laugh at my pain... They know that I suffer... That I hurt way down deep,
They think It's amusing,
They think It's a joke,
When they toy with your emotions... They could never know,
How badly it hurts me... How much I have been through,
They just see the outside... They never look in... To see my ambitions... My dreams... <3
As it rings in my ear... It gets louder... Until it sounds like a roar,
I can hear no one speaking... My Friends are not there... All I can see are the Demons that have tormented me,
I want to fight back... I want to break free,
But those Demons surround me... They know I am maimed... They know i am wounded... They laugh at my pain... They know that I suffer... That I hurt way down deep,
They think It's amusing,
They think It's a joke,
When they toy with your emotions... They could never know,
How badly it hurts me... How much I have been through,
They just see the outside... They never look in... To see my ambitions... My dreams... <3
mam cries,
dad shouts,
brother moans,
sister hides,
dog barks,
cat meows,
paremedics are coming and they'll always be coming cos i wont stop cutting my wrists.
Doctors patronize,
nurses tut,
people criticize,
kids stare,
police investigate,
teachers nag,
Friends worry,
social workers came, they've came to take me away cos I didn't stop cutting my wrists.
I hoped Du like this poem even though it doesn't rhyme.
It still needs loving just like Du and I.
Playground, schoolbell rings again. Rainclouds come to play, again. Has no one told you, she's not breathing? Hello, im your mind, giving Du someone to talk to, hello.
If i smile and dont believe, soon i know, i'll wake from this dream.
Don't try to fix me, im not broken!
Hello, im the lie living for you, so Du can hide, dont cry.....
Suddenly i know, im not sleeping, hello, im still here!
.....all that's left.....of yesterday......
Hey everyone. Just wanted Du to know about this song, even if Du dont know what its about, somehow it makes Du feel sad...... Just look up the song and Du will know what i mean.....
If i smile and dont believe, soon i know, i'll wake from this dream.
Don't try to fix me, im not broken!
Hello, im the lie living for you, so Du can hide, dont cry.....
Suddenly i know, im not sleeping, hello, im still here!
.....all that's left.....of yesterday......
Hey everyone. Just wanted Du to know about this song, even if Du dont know what its about, somehow it makes Du feel sad...... Just look up the song and Du will know what i mean.....
Nothing Remains
© Joni Jefferson
Innocent eyes and sweet laughter – now vacant and empty
Staring into a dark void
Hot tears on my pillow
Scared to fight
Too young to understand
Cold hands everywhere – holding, touching, hurting
Rape and perversion
Blood – sweat – on my clothes
Hatred – confusion – disgust
Night after night, week after week, Jahr after year
No longer a child – only an object
Silence – no dreams – no sleep
So many missing years
So many forgotten memories
All virtue – goodness – happiness gone
Childhood stolen – innocence murdered
Only pain and sadness remained
The child is gone – the child is dead
Nothing else remains
Source: The Child Is Gone – The Child Is Dead, Rape Poems link
© Joni Jefferson
Innocent eyes and sweet laughter – now vacant and empty
Staring into a dark void
Hot tears on my pillow
Scared to fight
Too young to understand
Cold hands everywhere – holding, touching, hurting
Rape and perversion
Blood – sweat – on my clothes
Hatred – confusion – disgust
Night after night, week after week, Jahr after year
No longer a child – only an object
Silence – no dreams – no sleep
So many missing years
So many forgotten memories
All virtue – goodness – happiness gone
Childhood stolen – innocence murdered
Only pain and sadness remained
The child is gone – the child is dead
Nothing else remains
Source: The Child Is Gone – The Child Is Dead, Rape Poems link
Adam seen some of his friend fighting.Adam asked them what are Du guys fighting about.They all sagte NOTHING GO AWAY ADAM.Adam sagte NO I'M TRIED OF Du GUYS TREATING ME LIKE CRAP.They all sagte we are going to beat Du up.Adam sagte DON'T Du GUYS TOUCH ME I WILL KILL YOU.They all rolled there eyes.Adam sagte I HATE Du GUYS SO MUCH.They all started kicking and punching Adam.Jim sagte IF Du EVER MESS WITH US AGAIN WE WILL KILL YOU.Jack sagte WE SOULD KILL HIM.Adam sagte I'M CALLING MY OTHER Friends aster and Zane and Axel.Jim sagte BUT THEY CAN'T BEAT US.Adam sagte MY OTHER Friends ARE HERE.Jim sagte YEAH BUT THEY ARE NOT STRONGER THEN US.Axel sagte I'M GOING TO KILL Du GUYS.Axel and Zane and aster started KICKING AND PUNCHING THEM.They all die and the fight was over.