TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges... Du do the math.
Your $400,000 Vancouver Home is a mere 5 hours from downtown.
Du can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.
There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.
W - e - e - d
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA
Du live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.
Ott-a-wa... who?
Tax is 6% instead of approximately 200% as it is for the rest of the country.
Du can exploit almost any natural resource Du can think of.
It's a downhill run to get to every other province.
The Americans below Du are all in anti-government militia groups.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN
Du never run out of wheat.
Your province is really easy to draw.
Du can watch the dog run away from Home for hours.
People will just assume Du live, oder have lived on the farm.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
Du wake up one morning to find that Du suddenly have a beachfront property.
Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes all within easy commute.
Nothing compares to wicked Winnipeg winters and really big insects in the summer.
Du can be an Easterner oder a Westerner depending on your mood.
Du can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
Du live in the centre of the universe.
Your $400,000 Toronto Home is actually a dump.
Du and Du alone decide who will win the federal election.
The only province with hard-core American-style crime.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
Racism is socially very acceptable.
Du can take bets with your Friends on which English neighbour will Bewegen out next.
Other provinces basically bribe Du to stay in Canada.
Du can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *#!%!"
Drivers' licences don't Zeigen birth dates so who really knows how old anyone there is.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
One way oder another, the government gets 98% of your income.
You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.
No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick.
Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't just think they can.
Du can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt.
Du are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
Even though Mehr people live on Vancouver Island, Du still got the big, new bridge.
Du can walk across the province in half an hour.
Du can drive across the province in two minutes.
Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea."
This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from.
Du can confuse ships Von turning your porch lights on and off at night.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
If Quebec separates, so will Du -—you'll just float off to sea.
If Du do something stupid, Du have a built-in excuse.
The workday is about two hours long.
It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding.
When Du can't remember the correct name for something, just call it a "thingamabob" and everyone will know exactly what you're talking about.
