Lmao! it's just hilarious:


Dorata: Miss Blair, Du no longer held hostage Von evil Prince Louis.
Blair: Oh yay! Now I can really get my hands on that wild forest atop my boyfriend's head!
Chuck: I don't think you're ready for this jelly.
Nate: No one is ready for that jelly. Why can't I have a onesie?
Chuck: Cause you're not Chuck Bass.
Nate: Wah, problems with Lola.
Chuck: I have a känguru tattoo.
Nate: ...........
Serena: What are Du gonna do now that you're free of the French Terminator?
Blair: Screw your ex, DUH!
Serena: Oh right, I'm happy for you. Too bad Du can't be a princess anymore.
Blair: Wait! HOLD UP, BITCH! I didn't think this through!
Serena: I don't wanna be loved Von anyone so I'm gonna force Lola to take my place as New York's most famous person that's famous for being slutty and blonde.
Blair: Yea, sure.
Lola: Hi friend from Florida who's only plot point is to be cougar bait for Diana Payne.
Aiden: Oh, hi.
Nate: Funny running into Du here.
Lola: Diana Payne.
Nate: I gotta go.
Lola: I think Nate's in Liebe with Diana Payne.
Dan: Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
Blair: That's nice. I'm busy. Go away.
Dan: Blah?
Dorota: I write songs with Vanya!
Dan: Give me Blair's divorce papers even though they're none of my business.
Dorota: Ugh, fine. I don't feel like doing my job today anyway.
Dan: Blair didn't sign her divorce papers?? I must ask Chuck's best friend/my best friend Nate what to do about Chuck's girlfriend/my girlfriend Blair!
Rufus: Give Ivy all your mom's money so we can Bewegen back to UES and Du can STFU.
Lily: No.
Rufus: I'll wear Mehr plaid.
Lily: Ugh, fine.
Andrew Tyler P.I: I found your mom again. Not the one Du had in first season who was addicted to Paxil. oder the one that died when she gave birth to you. But the one who told Du she wasn't your mom when she is. oder maybe she's not. I found that one.
Chuck: Cool. What should I do?
Andrew Tyler P.I: Talk to Blair, of course.
Chuck: She hates me because of reasons.
Andrew Tyler P.I: But Du paid her dowry.
Chuck: Shut your hole!
Andrew Tyler P.I: My b....but no seriously, talk to Blair.
Chuck: Ugh, fine.
Serena: Look, I get Unterwäsche named after me for no apparent reason.
Lola: Cool.
Serena: Put it on! I've always wanted to see my cousin in her underwear!
Lola: No.
Serena: DO IT!
Lola: AYE!
Serena: Sorry you're in your skivvies but I pulled the feuer alarm.
Lola: Oh gee.
Diana: The Spectator is mine.
Nate: No it's mine.
Diana: It's mine!
Nate: NU UH MINE!!!
Diana: NO! OH BTW, what this place needs another party.
Nate: Well, obvi.
Dan: Why isn't Blair divorced yet?
Nate: I'm gonna tell Du this cause I suck at being Chuck's friend. Chuck paid Blair's dowry.
Dan: THAT ratte BASTARD!
Nate: No, he's just a good guy.
Dan: HE'S A RAPIST! AN ARSONIST! A DAMN SCALLYWAG!
Nate: Okay....hey I'm throwing a party.
Dan: Well, obviously it's Monday.
Dorota: What is wrong with Du Miss Blair?
Blair: Not telling.
Dorota: Witty Banter.
Blair: Retaliate the witty banter.
Dorota: Witty Banter once again!
Blair: I'm stupid that's why. I wanna keep playing pretty pretty princess.
Chuck: Oh Jesus what am I doing here?
Blair: OH GOD WHY SO PERFECT?!
Chuck: My mommy saved my life. Should I talk to her?
Blair: Why are Du here?
Chuck: Because you're clearly a sane person. What should I do?
Blair: Du want back into my La Perla's!
Chuck: Uhhh....
Blair: Du evil spawn of Satan! Clearly you're using a sensitive subject for Du to get laid!
Chuck: You're fucking insane.
Blair: Am I wrong?
Chuck: ..................what is my life?
Blair: Time for me to walk away from Du for the 400th time.
Serena: What's up brother from another mother?
Chuck: Don't say mom right now, I'm sensitive.
Serena: Why are Du here?
Chuck: Because I hate myself.
Serena: Clearly.
Chuck: Should I talk to my mommy?
Serena: I say GO FOR IT!
Chuck: Gee, thanks sis!
Dan: CHUCK LEFT BLAIRS?!!! MUST JUDGE!!!!
Blair: Yea he did, who cares. I crushed his soul again.
Dan: He paid your dowry.
Blair: Floppy haired muppet say what?
Dan: Oops.
Blair: Must find Chuck! I'm not done murdering his soul!
Dan: Well, fuck.
Lawyer: Ivy left the penthouse. Your wife screwed her over.
Rufus: SHOCK AND AWE!
Serena: Du should model underwear for everyone to see in the middle of a party! Come on it's totally normal. I do it in the living room for my dad all the time!
Lola: No, I'm good.
Serena: Nate's going with Diana.
Lola: I'm there.
Rufus: Lily Du lied to me! That never happens!
Lily: Rufus, shut up and make waffles.
Rufus: It's waffeln for one now! Be gone evil wench.
Lily: Are Du for serious?
Lola: Oh hi, Nate and Diana. Remember my friend who is now important to the storyline?
Nate: Welcome dude.
Diana: I'll snack on him later. Ta!
Nate: Du still wanna piece of dis.
Diana: Pashaw!
Nate: Don't Du wish your boyfriend was hot like me? DONT CHA!
Diana: I'm totally sane and normal. Watch me KISS this total stranger that Lola brought.
Blair: Oh good, I found you!
Chuck: I'm lost.
Blair: Did Du pay my dowry?
Chuck: No comment.
Blair: ROAR YOU'RE BUYING ME!! I'M GONNA INEXPLICABLY BRING UP THE HOTEL INCIDENT THAT I FORGAVE Du FOR A LONG TIME AGO!
Chuck: ..........seriously, what is my life?
Blair: Du want me so bad Du paid millions of dollars for this ass!
Chuck: Nope. I just hate myself and want Du to be free to be with Dan.
Blair: Du RAPIST ASSHOLE!
Chuck: Alright, I'm done.
Dan: Sorry for breathing down your neck.
Blair: Chuck's done one bad thing to me. Chuck's never done anything good.
Dan: That's what I'm saying.
Diana: Let me eat you, guest star!
Nate: Lolz, filmed it.
Lola: We sure showed her, honey!
Serena: Wait, Du lied to me when I was lying to Du to come to a party where I was trying to force Du into being an It girl when Du don't want to be just to scheme with your boyfriend and set up his ex?
Lola: Basically.
Serena: SLUT!
Lola: It girl thing, not for me.
Serena: I MUST STAY IT GIRL FOREVER!!!
Chick: Uh, take off that lingerie, you're not an It girl anymore.
Serena: Well, shit.
Diana: Here, Du keep the Spectator.
Nate: Gee, thanks.
Diana: P.S. I Liebe you.
Andrew Tyler P.I: Elizabeth Fisher is a nun. Not your mom.
Chuck: stier, bull shit.
Andrew Tyler P.I: No seriously. Nun. Not mom.
Chuck: If I laced this scotch with ratte poisoning do Du think I'll die.
Andrew Tyler P.I: How many moms are Du on now dude?
Chuck: I Lost count.
Blair: Why am I in this terrible dress?
Dan: Because of reasons.
Blair: I hate my life.
Dan: Makes sense.
Blair: Your hair is staring at me.
Dan: This crown is fake.
Blair: KILL ME NOW!
Dan: Shut up and do what I say.
Blair: Oh okay, I Liebe you.
Dan: Pretty pretty princess.
Chuck: Why didn't I die on the streets of Prague?


all credit goes to beelieve at tumblr