For those of Du who didn't see my pick, I'm trying to decide whether I should reveal at the beginning of my book, that a main character is going to die at the end. These are three versions of opening paragraphs that I've written. If there's one that Du like the best, let me know in the Kommentare oder in the pick.
1. This one gives away the most information, including when she dies and how she's killed:
I had no idea when I started at Skip’s Burger Grill, that on October 22, 2009, sitting there in the walk-in refrigerator, huddled together with my colleagues for warmth, my life would be changed forever. I had no idea that every Tag after that day, image of a halo of blood, an arc of red hair strewn about, around the freckled face of someone I had long regarded as almost a sibling, would be the first thing I saw every morning after I woke up, and the last I saw every night before I went to sleep. I had no idea, that for the rest of my life after that day, for the rest of my life, the sound of a single shot would ring in my head. I had no idea that I would learn what it felt like to lose a sister.
2. This one is a happy middle ground, it hints at the fact that someone dies but doesn't say who:
I had no idea when I started at Skip’s Burger Grill, that after that fateful Tuesday evening, a series of Bilder would flash in front of my eyes every morning when I woke up and every night before I went to sleep: a drying pool of blood, a halo of tousled hair partially obstructing a pale and Frozen face, a look of anger and terror forever captured in dark, lifeless eyes. I had no idea that sitting there in the walk-in refrigerator, my life would be changed forever with a single sound, a loud pop. I had no idea that I would learn what it felt like to cry until Du had no tears left.
3. This one gives away almost no information:
I had no idea when I started at Skip’s Burger Grill that my life would be changed forever in a single instant, sitting against the shelves in the walk-in refrigerator, a loud sound echoing through the store. I had no idea that something Du heard only for a second, could ring in your ears for weeks. I had no idea what it was like to lose what mattered the most.
If there are certain elements, stylistic oder otherwise that Du really like in a particular one, but Du don't think that one as a whole is the best, let me know. I'm flexible. I'm open to making changes
If Du want Mehr background about what the story's about, it's on link, fifth Kommentar down
link
1. This one gives away the most information, including when she dies and how she's killed:
I had no idea when I started at Skip’s Burger Grill, that on October 22, 2009, sitting there in the walk-in refrigerator, huddled together with my colleagues for warmth, my life would be changed forever. I had no idea that every Tag after that day, image of a halo of blood, an arc of red hair strewn about, around the freckled face of someone I had long regarded as almost a sibling, would be the first thing I saw every morning after I woke up, and the last I saw every night before I went to sleep. I had no idea, that for the rest of my life after that day, for the rest of my life, the sound of a single shot would ring in my head. I had no idea that I would learn what it felt like to lose a sister.
2. This one is a happy middle ground, it hints at the fact that someone dies but doesn't say who:
I had no idea when I started at Skip’s Burger Grill, that after that fateful Tuesday evening, a series of Bilder would flash in front of my eyes every morning when I woke up and every night before I went to sleep: a drying pool of blood, a halo of tousled hair partially obstructing a pale and Frozen face, a look of anger and terror forever captured in dark, lifeless eyes. I had no idea that sitting there in the walk-in refrigerator, my life would be changed forever with a single sound, a loud pop. I had no idea that I would learn what it felt like to cry until Du had no tears left.
3. This one gives away almost no information:
I had no idea when I started at Skip’s Burger Grill that my life would be changed forever in a single instant, sitting against the shelves in the walk-in refrigerator, a loud sound echoing through the store. I had no idea that something Du heard only for a second, could ring in your ears for weeks. I had no idea what it was like to lose what mattered the most.
If there are certain elements, stylistic oder otherwise that Du really like in a particular one, but Du don't think that one as a whole is the best, let me know. I'm flexible. I'm open to making changes
If Du want Mehr background about what the story's about, it's on link, fifth Kommentar down
link
You’re keeping me up at night as Tag breaks
It’s all for you
Yeah that’s what Du do, got me feeling so blue
When will Du see
Du have to let it be
When will Du see just how much Du really mean to me
Why is it just so hard to send that card
When do Du think you’ll be able to understand
My Liebe might be killing me
I hope Du realize I’m just a fool
Damn! You’re so cool
When do Du think you’ll understand
Du drove me to a far off land
When will Du see
I can’t just let it be
Come on try to set me free
When will Du finally understand
I care about you
I’ll tell Du that firsthand
Du have my herz and my life
I hope soon I’ll get a chance to be your wife
I hope soon you’ll see, Du mean the universe and the galaxy to me
It’s all for you
Yeah that’s what Du do, got me feeling so blue
When will Du see
Du have to let it be
When will Du see just how much Du really mean to me
Why is it just so hard to send that card
When do Du think you’ll be able to understand
My Liebe might be killing me
I hope Du realize I’m just a fool
Damn! You’re so cool
When do Du think you’ll understand
Du drove me to a far off land
When will Du see
I can’t just let it be
Come on try to set me free
When will Du finally understand
I care about you
I’ll tell Du that firsthand
Du have my herz and my life
I hope soon I’ll get a chance to be your wife
I hope soon you’ll see, Du mean the universe and the galaxy to me
Daniel
Race:half Italian Human,Otaku,Reader Fanfiction,I Liebe my Friends and Respect them i Speak American English Fluent and i like the sound of the ocean and strand Favorit animals:Dogs,Wolf,Dolphins,Horses,Panda,Tiger,Orca
Beluga Whales
Anime i love:Naruto Shippuden,Swords Art Online,Inuyasha,Vampire Knight,Rosario+Vampire
my Favorit sports are:Basketball,Tennis,Swimming
I'm the youngest child my mother have I have a biological brother and mom also my brother is a electronic Engineering
I have one small cute Malchi dog
Beluga Whales
Anime i love:Naruto Shippuden,Swords Art Online,Inuyasha,Vampire Knight,Rosario+Vampire
my Favorit sports are:Basketball,Tennis,Swimming
I'm the youngest child my mother have I have a biological brother and mom also my brother is a electronic Engineering
I have one small cute Malchi dog
In my opinion the new Suicide Squad sucks. Harley Quinn is not even Harley Quinn any more, Deadshot has stupid movie lines, and no King Shark. WTF. I will explain this all for people who are not familier with The Suicide Squad.
Since the beginning of time Harley Quinn has had an accent and, guess what, no accent in the new Suicide Squad. And since when does Harley Quinn dress like a fucking slut.
Deadshot is normaly the main charecter in The Suicide Squad but now he has two stupid arsch lines, "So we are some kind of Suicide Squad?" Yes Du are stupid it is the Titel of your movie. "Let's go save the world." Fuck it I am done with Deadshot fully.
King hai is, well, a giant hai but now they have replaced him with a less cool Killer Crok.
Sucky one
I really Liebe to write.I've done it ever since I was only 4.
My mother used to write things like stories oder poems and letters.My mom inspired me to write things now.
Schreiben is really fun to do and I Liebe it alot!Sometimes I write things like my mom did.
Whenever I feel mad I usually write things in the Write E-Mail on the computer and write things that have been on my mind for a couple of days,then I erase them because I always feel better after I do that and I usually feel much calmer and I get it out of my system.
Since I really Liebe Schreiben so much I was thinking that maybe I could become an Autor when I grow up. :)
I wouldn't just write Poesie oder stories,I would also like to write Artikel for other people to read (just like I'm Schreiben one right now).But of course I would write it on a piece of paper.I would also like to write new Bücher for kids.
Again I really Liebe to write and it's sort of special to me in my life.
My mother used to write things like stories oder poems and letters.My mom inspired me to write things now.
Schreiben is really fun to do and I Liebe it alot!Sometimes I write things like my mom did.
Whenever I feel mad I usually write things in the Write E-Mail on the computer and write things that have been on my mind for a couple of days,then I erase them because I always feel better after I do that and I usually feel much calmer and I get it out of my system.
Since I really Liebe Schreiben so much I was thinking that maybe I could become an Autor when I grow up. :)
I wouldn't just write Poesie oder stories,I would also like to write Artikel for other people to read (just like I'm Schreiben one right now).But of course I would write it on a piece of paper.I would also like to write new Bücher for kids.
Again I really Liebe to write and it's sort of special to me in my life.
Hey guys.i wanna be in a group sooooo...... please be in my group Von erissajade05(me),so we have activites and we talk about different kinds of things such as:mermaids,t.v shows,and tell each other about our selfs so hope u wanna be in my group its fun a lot)its going to very fun too.so buckle up for the fun cause the is about to began 123 here we go .please subscribe and please write Kommentare .If Du wanna be in my group add me and say yes in the Kommentar box below.if Du don't want to be in my group don't add me and just say no in the Kommentar box right below.no personal stuff guys just being me.
