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Katniss:

Peeta and I had just won the Hunger Games. A televised fight to the death. My sister, Prim, had been picked to be in the Games, so I took her place. Now I was at Home with her and my mother. Peeta was living in a house near me. We had pretended to be in Liebe for the Games so we would both win. I don’t really Liebe him, but I think that he really does Liebe me. Well, now everything is normal. Prim, my mother, Peeta, and I are fine. Everything is different, though. I had been so used to living in the Seam, that all of these luxuries from winning the Games seem abnormal and unusual to...
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This Artikel belongs to link on Tumblr.


A quick run-down should Du ever find yourself trapped in a horror movie and would prefer to live to tell the tale.

1. Don’t have sex.
-Seriously
-Abstinence is key.
2. Don’t go out with people you’ve just met that day.
-I don’t care how good he says his weed is
-he is cuckoo bananas
-and he wants Du dead.
3. Don’t go to camp. Especially one where someone was murdered.
-There are six words Du should YouTube, should Du get the chance
-“Kevin speck in Friday the 13th”
4. Find a good hiding place and… STAY. THERE.
-If the killer can’t see...
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1) As soon as Du come in class people stare
2)When the teacher calls on Du (For a Frage Du do not know)
3)Girls oder boys look at Du and laugh but when Du turn back they have that blank expression
4)Being yelled at in front of a teacher
5)Being tardy
6)Being called nicknames..that Du dont enjoy
7)Being the first person to be kicked out of class
8)Looking crazy when Du yell at people in the middle of class
9)Running in the hall then falling on your face
10)Something gets stuck on your pants..or someone put it there
These are supposedly actual answering machine announcements.

1. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to Du as soon as we're finished.

2. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message.

3. Hi. This is John: If Du are the phone company, I already sent the money. If Du are my parents, please send money. If Du are my financial aid institution, Du didn't lend me enough money. If Du are my friends, Du owe me money. If Du are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.

4....
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posted by ShadowProve13
Tell the undertaker that he can't close the coffin until Du find your contact lens.

Punch the body and tell people that he hit Du first.

Tell the widow that you're the deceased's gay lover.

Ask someone to take a snapshot of Du shaking hands with the deceased.

At the cemetery, play taps on a kazoo.

Walk around tellin people that you've seen the will and they're not in it.

Ask the widow to give Du a kiss.

Drive behind the widow's limo and keep honking your horn.

Tell the undertaker that your dog just died and ask if he can sneak him into the coffin.

Put a hard-boiled egg in the mouth of the...
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posted by The_Random_Guy
The three little pigs (edited version)

Once appon a time, There were three pigs named Dakota, Kelsey and Jessica. They had a problem... A wolf named Gibby was trying to kill them!
"Kelsey, Do Du want to come with me to go find Jessica?" Dakota asks.
"Sure." Antworten Kelsey.
They walk outside and look in the forest only to see Jessica setting up traps for the wolf.
"Jessica, What the f*ck are Du doing?" Asks Kelsey.
"What does it look like I'm doing...I'm putting up traps to see if I can catch Gibby." She says as she looks at Kelsey with an annoyed expression.
"Calm yourself..Damn!" Says Dakota as...
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posted by bizeshnakarki
I got it somewhere n thought i should share it.

101 Ways To Annoy People
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with Friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If Du have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours Von hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all...
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I got really bored last night and decided to look these up. So...yeah. Some small roles are included.


Italy and Kid

Narrator and Liz

Greece and Spirit

Chibitalia and Yumi

America and Justin

England and Harvar

France and Giriko

Russia and the clowns

HRE and Jack the Ripper
Austria and Dr.Stein

Hungary and Medusa

Liechtenstein and Patty

Belarus and Tsubaki

Lithuania and Ox

Sweden and Mifune

Sealand and Crona

Rome and Eibon

......Yep. I'm most likely missing some, though.
posted by mehere
oben, nach oben 24 Eminem song (random order)




who knew

rock bottom

words are weapons

lighters

criminal

kill you

never 2 far

like toy solidiers

white america

cleanin' out my closet

my name is

till i collapse

when im gone

sing for the moment

the real slim shady

just dont give a fuck

lose yourself

the way i am

mockingbird

infinite

stan

not afraid

without me

just lose it

i hope Du like this one better than the first one please leave a Kommentar if u like od dont like it i want to hear your thoughts :P
100: CHEEECCKPOOOINT
99: Purple Monkey Dishwasher
98: apfel, apple pie... oder Pumkin?
97: Sit on your pockets! (Well known teacher saying)
96: mom mom mom mom mommy mommy mommmy mommmy mommy luis luis luis luis mama mama mama mama WHAT? hi.
95: Lawl
94: Baby turtles
93: 9000!!!!
92: Da da di da did did do do di da did di do!
91: MY POKEMON BRING ALL THE NERDS TO THE YARD AND THERE LIKE YA WANNA TRADE CARDS? DAM RIGHT! I WANNA TRADE CARDS I WILL TARDE YOU, BUT NOT MY CHARIZARD!
90: Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeck POINT!
89: 88, 87, 86, 85...
84: Online daters are desprete.... they rely on the internt!
83: mama I pooped
82: c'mon!...
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posted by amutokitty
What is Vocaloid? A voice synthesizer. A Toyota Corolla endorser. An amazing group of digitized singers that Du can download right onto your computer. My Favorit group of singers. From Vocaloids that are so well known that they become viral, like Hatsune Miku, to the ones that Du almost never hear about, like Prima and Tonio, these singers have a wide variety of voice types, specialties, songs, and looks. I have been following Vocaloid ever since I heard little Hachune Miku sing her version of Ievan Polkka while swinging her leek, and since then I've acquired a vast knowledge of the amazing...
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"Hey guess what?" Lauren, my best friend, sagte as we sat in the computer room of my house, looking at Katy Perry Musik videos. I looked over and answered, "What?". She pulled out a small card with a "BK" watermark on it.
"I got a $10 gift card to Burger King!" She exclaimed. "The jellybeans shall be praised!" I jumped up and immediately grabbed the keys of my car, a blue 2012 Ford mustang Shelby GT500.
"We need to go." I begged. Burger King was one of my all-time Favorit fast Essen restaurants. I had to go!
"Take out oder dine-in?" Lauren asked, standing up. I thought for a second.
"Both!"...
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1.You abuse our Liebe Du lose it.
2.When we find the right guy we Liebe him and NEVER want to lose him.
3.Our Liebe is a privlige NOT a right.
4.Our hearts are delicate items, so when we do give them to the guy we Liebe be careful with it.
5.Drinking will NOT impress us in any way shape oder form.
6.Guys Du should respect our feelings.
7.In our relationship with Du (the guy) We have dominance to.
8.We're as good at listening as we are at talking.
9.When it comes to the guy we truly Liebe we will devote A LOT of our time to only you.
10.When Du (the guy we love) break our hearts, you've pretty much killed us until we heal.
posted by nymph_tonks
Stranger: hi


You: hi asl


Stranger: 20 m


Stranger: u?


You: 15 female


Stranger: nice to meet you!


You: GO GO POWER RANGERS!


Stranger: yeah!


Stranger: what are Du up to?


You: ther was this lady earlier who told me i shouldnt be on the internet at 15.


Stranger: lol


Stranger: and where should u be?


You: probably outside ithout any trödel, schrott, junk-e- Essen oder soda


Stranger: fair enough


You: i would survive.


Stranger: do u like talking to strangers?


You: online, through text.


Stranger: where r u from?


Stranger: I am from UK btw


You: im from the us.


Stranger: nice


You: im bored


Stranger: oh...and I am italian


Stranger: we could do something...
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 HAHAHA
HAHAHA
HERE I AM AGIAN BUT THIS TIME WITH MY SIBLING...ya!!!so WE ARE HERE TO TALK ABOUT THE TRAGIC STORY OF STALKERS...SO READ THIS Liste AND IF Du DO ANYTHING ON THIS Liste SEE A DOCTER FAST..SO CALL 555-STLAKER HELP(THIS IS NOT REAL DO NOT CALL AND IF Du DO I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR Du GETING INVOLVED WITH SOME DILEMA/PROBLEM)PLEASE DO NOT CALLL!!!!!!!!!!!!HERE ME DO NOT CALLL!!!

lIST BEGINS NOW:
1.DO Du HAVE THE EURGE TO FALLOW PEOPLE AROUND(FRIENDS,GIRLFRIENDS/BOYFRIENDS oder WORSE STRANGERS)
2.DO Du TEXT/CALL CERTIAN PEOPLE 23/7(AS Du CAN SEE NOT 24/7 BUT 23/7 THAT WAY THEY HAVE 1HR TO RREST)
3.DO...
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posted by smileypop9
Found this on www.funny.com. I find a lot of things there that I post...


A manager at Wal-Mart had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.
The Tag came and as the four sat around the conference room table, the interviewer asked, 'What is the fastest thing Du know of?'
The first man replied, 'A THOUGHT.' It just pops into your head. There's no warning.
'That's very good!' replied...
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posted by cloudstrifefan
Everything Du can do with both a ruler and a compass,you can do with a compass alone.

The number symbol,#,is also known as an "octothorpe".

Cats sleep twice as much as people-up to 18 hours per day.

An ancient Greek vase from around 500 BC shows a boy playing with a yo-yo.

There are twice as many kangaroos in Australia (approx. 40 million)as there are people.

"Almost" is the longest common word in the English language with all the letters in alphabetical order.

Human thigh Bones are stronger than concrete.

In Alaska's Matanuska Vally,the long hours of sunlight have been used to grow giant vegetables...
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INTRO-
She sings the songs that she learns from
Jen and all the cool girls
She doesn't know what they mean
But she doesn't really have a care in the world

PRE-
She turn red then she turned redder
What was so funny?
They whispered fierce words about her
She fakes a smile
Pictures the snickers with laughture

CHORUS1-
I said,
Why do Du always go on?
I got a grip on reality finally
But why should I hold on?
This is too hard for me.
They said;
Didn't your mama ever tell ya?
I thought she'd taught ya well but
You're livin life in a fantasy
Why'd Du treat your life like a dream?

VS1-
She skipped over to the 4th pew
in...
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posted by karpach_13
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!

Q: How can Du tell if a blonde has been using the computer?
A: The joystick is wet.

Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her Mehr attractive?
A: Her ankles.

Q: What do Du say to a Blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."

Q: What do Blondes say after sex?
A1: Thanks Guys.
A2: Are Du boys all in the same band?
A3: Do Du guys all play for the Green bucht Packers?

Q: How do Du make a blonde's eyes twinkle?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q: What does a screen door and a blonde...
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haha I loved it...^.^ no offense to any blonde people around Fanpop and around the world :D


Blonde Joke
the funniest blonde joke

I knew a blonde that was so stupid that.......

* she called me to get my phone number.

* she spent 20 Minuten looking at the orange saft box because it sagte "concentrate."

* she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.

*she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.

*she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

*she tried to drown a fish.

*she thought a quarterback was a refund.

*she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

*she tripped over...
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