Bridgit Mendler Icons

01 Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
02 Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
03 Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
04 If Du can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If Du can't see Chuck Norris Du may be only Sekunden away from death.
05 Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony,...

oben, nach oben 25 Ways To Drive Your Roommate Crazy

1. Every time Du wake up, start yelling, “Oh, my God! Where the
hell am I?!” and run around the room for a few minutes. Then go
back to bed. If yourroommate asks, say Du don’t know what
he/she is talking about.

2. Buy a plant. Sleep with it at night. Talk to it. After a few weeks,
start to argue with it loudly. Then yell, “I can’t live in the same
room with you,” storm out of the room and slam the door. Get rid
of the plant, but keep the pot. Refuse to discuss the plant ever
again.

3. Buy a Jack-in-the-box. Every day, turn the handle until the
clown...

79 Things to do in an Elevator (Soooo funny)

1. Crack open your aktentasche, aktenkoffer oder handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the Wand without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him oder her to call Du Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I...

I'm Dreaming Of A Fat Christmas

It was Weihnachten Eve. Selena sat yet on her head, sipping slow eggnog.

She looked at the cute boot hanging on the Weihnachten baum and sighed. Last year, alex had hung it there, just before they looked at each other conversely and then fell into each other's arms and stood each other's hand.

If only I hadn't been so pretty, Selena thought, pouring a funny amount of rum into her eggnog. Then alex might not have got so stupid and left me all alone at Weihnachten time. She wiped away a fast tear and held her head in her hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and...

1. If using a touch-tone, press Zufällig numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.

2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.

3. Use CB lingo where applicable.

4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

7. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.

8. Answer their Fragen with questions.

9. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and...

Act like Du know the order taker from somewhere. Say, "BedWetter’s Camp, right?"
Add extra letters to words, ex: pizza becomes pizzzzzzzaaaaaaa
After ordering, say, "I wonder what THIS button on the phone does." Simulate a cutoff.
Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music.
Answer their Fragen with questions.
Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.
Ask for a deal available somewhere else. (e.g., If phoning Domino's, ask for a Cheeser! Cheeser!)
Ask for chips/fries with everything!
Ask for extra homo-sapien
Ask for the guy who took your order last time.
Ask how many...

The Jersey Devil is sagte to be a made-up creature, Von scientists and sketics everywhere. And it is just made up...isn't it?
Perhaps not. Most reports, unlike many that turned out be fake, follow the same lines: claiming the Devil is a kangaroo-like creature with cloven hooves, bat wings, the head of a goat, and a forked tail. It is sagte to be fast, and it's attack call sounds like that of a tortured horse; bloodcurdling and horrible.
There are many sightings involving this mysterious cryptid. One example is the sighting claim of Joseph Bonaparte, who claimed to have seen the Jersey Devil while...

"So girls," sagte mrs. Green. "This is our new home!"
Jocelyn and Erin set their suit cases down. 
"So why'd we have to Bewegen to Britain?" asked Erin. 
"Well maybe Du can make some new friends." answered Mrs. Green. 
Erin and Jocelyn looked at each other. 
"Since when does that happen." they sagte in unison. 
"Why don't Du go explore the house." sagte Mrs. Green. 
The girls went up stairs. Jocelyn turned on the sink. The water sparkled with Gold and regenbogen streaks. 
"Hey, Erin, check this out." she said, sticking her hand in. She imidiatly felt wind blowing on her hand. A Pferde tail brushed...

She wasn't young, but still a child
There was no innocence
In faded smiles
She called to me as I passed her by
Lady of the night looked in my eyes
She said, I been through some changes
But one thing always stays the same

Without love, there's nothing without love
And nothing else can get Du through the night
‘Cause nothing else feels right without love
Whoa

I saw a man down on lonely street
A broken man who looked like me
And no one knows the pain that he's been living
He Lost his love, he still hasn't forgiven
He said, I've been through some changes
But one thing always stays the same

Without love, there's...

We would take no prisoners
'Cause there was nobody giving in
They came walking through my jungle
Met an Angel – Jäger der Finsternis about to sin
I heard a voice from inside of me
When the youth of America cried
Can Du help me, hear me call

I don't wanna fall (I don't wanna fall)
I don't wanna fall (I don't wanna fall)
To the fire
I don't wanna fall (I don't wanna fall)
I don't wanna fall (I don't wanna fall)
To the fire

When you're a part of society
You know the herz of your innocence dies
When we met with Authority
I looked him right between the eyes
'Cause all we had was our innocence
All we had was our hearts to try to win the...

After the smoke clears
And it's down to Du and I
When the sun appears
And there's nothing left but goodbyes
We'll just turn and walk away
How could we let it end like this
Just turn and walk away
Should we dichtung it with a kiss

It's too late
Now you're out and on the run
It's too late
Held up in Liebe without a gun

Silent night
We hold up our candle light
Silent night
The night our Liebe died
No words to say
Now we're both too tired to fight
Just hold me close and don't let go

It was all so simple when
You were to be Queen and I'd be your king
I guess the dream got lost
‘Cause baby you're still Du and I'm still...

I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat Von the river and it made me complete

Oh simple thing where have Du gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

Oh simple thing where have Du gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and...