Not So Smart, Need A Sign?
Number One Idiot
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center.
Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants.
I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital.
She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants.
I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away. Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Two Idiot
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life floß from one of the 747s.
They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home.
Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming toward them.
It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the floß was inflated.
They are no longer employed at Boeing.
Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Three Idiot
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch and wrote this, “Put all your muny in this bag.”
While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window.
So he left the Bank of America and crossed the straße to the Wells Fargo Bank.
After waiting a few Minuten in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller.
She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip oder go back to Bank of America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, “OK” and left.
He was arrested a few Minuten later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America. Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Four Idiot
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car.
He later received in the mail a ticket for $50 and a Foto of his car.
Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $50.
Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs.
He immediately mailed in his $50.
Wise guy ... But Du still get a sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Five Idiot
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer.
After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, “Because I don't believe Du are over 21.”
The robber sagte he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe him.
At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk.
The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag.
The robber then ran from the store with his loot.
The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license.
They arrested the robber two hours later.
This guy definitely needs a sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Six
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record Shop nervously waving revolvers.
The first one shouted, “Nobody move!”
When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
This guy doesn't even deserve a sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Seven Arkansas:
Seems this guy wanted some bier pretty badly.
He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run.
So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious.
It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass.
The whole event was caught on videotape.
Yep, here's your sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Eight
I live in a semi-rural area
We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.
The reason: “Too many deer are being hit Von cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.”Take the sign - Please!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stay Alert!
They walk among us ... they Reproduce ...
Number One Idiot
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center.
Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants.
I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital.
She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants.
I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away. Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Two Idiot
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life floß from one of the 747s.
They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home.
Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming toward them.
It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the floß was inflated.
They are no longer employed at Boeing.
Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Three Idiot
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch and wrote this, “Put all your muny in this bag.”
While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window.
So he left the Bank of America and crossed the straße to the Wells Fargo Bank.
After waiting a few Minuten in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller.
She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip oder go back to Bank of America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, “OK” and left.
He was arrested a few Minuten later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America. Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Four Idiot
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car.
He later received in the mail a ticket for $50 and a Foto of his car.
Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $50.
Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs.
He immediately mailed in his $50.
Wise guy ... But Du still get a sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Five Idiot
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer.
After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, “Because I don't believe Du are over 21.”
The robber sagte he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe him.
At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk.
The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag.
The robber then ran from the store with his loot.
The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license.
They arrested the robber two hours later.
This guy definitely needs a sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Six
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record Shop nervously waving revolvers.
The first one shouted, “Nobody move!”
When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
This guy doesn't even deserve a sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Seven Arkansas:
Seems this guy wanted some bier pretty badly.
He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run.
So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious.
It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass.
The whole event was caught on videotape.
Yep, here's your sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Eight
I live in a semi-rural area
We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.
The reason: “Too many deer are being hit Von cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.”Take the sign - Please!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stay Alert!
They walk among us ... they Reproduce ...
Ryan:*walks into class* ITS HUG AN ASIAN DAY! o3o
Me: -___-.......YAY! *hugs ryan* your soft...just like a teddy bär =w=
Ryan:*moves away*
Me:WHORE!! D:
David:ANYONE WANT A zebra CAKE! FOR 50 CENTS! ITS BEEN TOUCHED MY AN ASIAN!!
Ryan: :3
Me:Lilly buy the zebra cake!!!
Lilly:I dont hav-
Me:BUY IT!!
Lilly: O_O
David:PANTS ON THE GROUND!
Me:LOOKING LIKE A FOOL WITH YOUR PANTS ON THE GROUND XD
Verionca:PERIOD CUP!!
Me:YES!!
Me:*touches Jazz*
Jazz:SEXUAL HARSHESTMENT!(is that how Du spell it?!)
Me:Your point is?!
Jazz:Idk
Me:*looks at hand* I have 5 figers! WHAT DOES IT MEAN!!??
Jazz:Power rangers! =w=
Me: -___-.......YAY! *hugs ryan* your soft...just like a teddy bär =w=
Ryan:*moves away*
Me:WHORE!! D:
David:ANYONE WANT A zebra CAKE! FOR 50 CENTS! ITS BEEN TOUCHED MY AN ASIAN!!
Ryan: :3
Me:Lilly buy the zebra cake!!!
Lilly:I dont hav-
Me:BUY IT!!
Lilly: O_O
David:PANTS ON THE GROUND!
Me:LOOKING LIKE A FOOL WITH YOUR PANTS ON THE GROUND XD
Verionca:PERIOD CUP!!
Me:YES!!
Me:*touches Jazz*
Jazz:SEXUAL HARSHESTMENT!(is that how Du spell it?!)
Me:Your point is?!
Jazz:Idk
Me:*looks at hand* I have 5 figers! WHAT DOES IT MEAN!!??
Jazz:Power rangers! =w=
Du always helped me with all my troubles
and i'd do the same for you
when i sagte no one cared about me
you'd say Du do
Du stopped me from hurting myself
and ending my life
Du came to my rescue
and put down the knife
Du told me Du would be nothing
if I wasn't there
those words showed me
Du really cared
but there's another secret
that killing my soul
one that made me realize
Du made me whole
it's that i Liebe you
and even though were friends
i would always Liebe Du
until the end
I hope that one day
maybe you'll Liebe me too
and I'll be waiting for that Tag to come
and you'll say I Liebe you
and i'd do the same for you
when i sagte no one cared about me
you'd say Du do
Du stopped me from hurting myself
and ending my life
Du came to my rescue
and put down the knife
Du told me Du would be nothing
if I wasn't there
those words showed me
Du really cared
but there's another secret
that killing my soul
one that made me realize
Du made me whole
it's that i Liebe you
and even though were friends
i would always Liebe Du
until the end
I hope that one day
maybe you'll Liebe me too
and I'll be waiting for that Tag to come
and you'll say I Liebe you
Ok its been a while since i made a Drukies Artikel but here goes!
Awesome- Z tomorrow is the last Tag of school!!
Z- WICKED I can't wait for cheese!
Awesome- Cheese?
Z- yeah Cheese ya know the stuff Du put on s'mores?
Awesome- Girl Du wack!
Z- Last night i was board so i read the phone book
Awesome- Learn anyone's number?
Z- yeah George Bush's, and my teacher's number.
Awesome- Why would Bush's number be in the phone book? We don't even live in Washington DC!
Z- DUDE! PUT DOWN MY erdnuss BUTTER!
Awesome- Your alergect to erdnuss butter...
Z- DUDE SERIOUSLY PUT IT DOWN MY CHUNKY!
Awesome- I don't have any erdnuss butter!
Z- Want a lolly pop?
Awesome- ooo what flavor?
Z- Mystery
Awesome- Your a mystery!
Z- whats that suppose to mean?
Awesome- OMG The bus is on fire!!!
Z- COOLIO!
Awesome- NO seriously! Get out!!
Z- OMG Awesome no need to get pushy!
Too be continued...
Awesome- Z tomorrow is the last Tag of school!!
Z- WICKED I can't wait for cheese!
Awesome- Cheese?
Z- yeah Cheese ya know the stuff Du put on s'mores?
Awesome- Girl Du wack!
Z- Last night i was board so i read the phone book
Awesome- Learn anyone's number?
Z- yeah George Bush's, and my teacher's number.
Awesome- Why would Bush's number be in the phone book? We don't even live in Washington DC!
Z- DUDE! PUT DOWN MY erdnuss BUTTER!
Awesome- Your alergect to erdnuss butter...
Z- DUDE SERIOUSLY PUT IT DOWN MY CHUNKY!
Awesome- I don't have any erdnuss butter!
Z- Want a lolly pop?
Awesome- ooo what flavor?
Z- Mystery
Awesome- Your a mystery!
Z- whats that suppose to mean?
Awesome- OMG The bus is on fire!!!
Z- COOLIO!
Awesome- NO seriously! Get out!!
Z- OMG Awesome no need to get pushy!
Too be continued...
Once upon a time There was a girl named Abby. She loved to talk. Her teachers eventually stopped calling on her.
One day, she talked during a feuer while a kid in her class was telling her teacher where the 17 other children were.
The teacher couldn't here her, and the Suchen for the children lasted twelve hours. During that time, a gang stahl, stola five computers, three cars, seventeen dogs, and blackmailed the mayor into giving them seven grand.
Abby was expelled from the school.
When she told her parents, they imediately looked for a school for her to go to.
But the only school that gave her acceptence was the class in the juvinille deliquent center.
So she was Home schooled.
But she caused her parents so much trouble that in a week they Lost their all hair and were standing on the thin line between sanity and the nut house.
So they duct-taped her mouth shut.
THE END
One day, she talked during a feuer while a kid in her class was telling her teacher where the 17 other children were.
The teacher couldn't here her, and the Suchen for the children lasted twelve hours. During that time, a gang stahl, stola five computers, three cars, seventeen dogs, and blackmailed the mayor into giving them seven grand.
Abby was expelled from the school.
When she told her parents, they imediately looked for a school for her to go to.
But the only school that gave her acceptence was the class in the juvinille deliquent center.
So she was Home schooled.
But she caused her parents so much trouble that in a week they Lost their all hair and were standing on the thin line between sanity and the nut house.
So they duct-taped her mouth shut.
THE END