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posted by jessicamc26
A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's Mercedes back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car vorwärts-, nach vorn saving him from sinking! A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my 'thingy' and pull yourself up." And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety. The moral of the story: If Du are hung like a horse, Du don't need a Mercedes to pick up chicks.
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Source: My I-pod and some app
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Source: Facebook
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added by Saint_and_Fang
posted by australia-101
Desktop Fun Prank

This works best on someone without much computer knowledge. If Du know of someone who is constantly talking about how stupid their PC is, oder always seem to be lucky enough to get the newest virus before anyone else...this trick is for them.



You will need:

- Access to their computer
- Ability to take screenshots, change desktop wallpaper, and other basic computer skills


How this prank works:
You take a screenshot of someone's desktop (with oder without apps running oder photoshopping "enhancements"), than place that image as their desktop wallpaper. If Du are decent with using photoshop...
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posted by IloveMyLord
The scholar does not consider Gold and jade to be precious treasures, but loyalty and good faith.
Confucius
Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain oder freed a human soul.
Mark Twain
An ounce of loyalty is worth a pound of cleverness.
Elbert Green Hubbard

Loyalty means nothing unless it has at its herz the absolute principle of self-sacrifice.
Woodrow T. Wilson
Loyalty ... is a realization that America was born of revolt, flourished in dissent, became great through experimentation.
Henry S. Commager
Total loyalty is possible only when fidelity is emptied of all concrete content, from...
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posted by ShadowProve13
Tell the undertaker that he can't close the coffin until Du find your contact lens.

Punch the body and tell people that he hit Du first.

Tell the widow that you're the deceased's gay lover.

Ask someone to take a snapshot of Du shaking hands with the deceased.

At the cemetery, play taps on a kazoo.

Walk around tellin people that you've seen the will and they're not in it.

Ask the widow to give Du a kiss.

Drive behind the widow's limo and keep honking your horn.

Tell the undertaker that your dog just died and ask if he can sneak him into the coffin.

Put a hard-boiled egg in the mouth of the...
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posted by JonasLuver1
Why Guys Liebe Girls:

1. The way they always smell good even if it’s just shampoo
2. The way they always find the right spot on our shoulder
3. How cute they look when they sleep
4. The ease in which they fit into our ams
5. The way they KISS Du ad make everything alright in the world
6. How cute they are when they eat
7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the it’s all worthwhile
8. The way they are always warm even if it’s minus 30 degrees
9. The way the look good no matter what they wear
10. The way she fished for compliments even though Du both know she’s the most beautiful...
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posted by KateKicksAss
 This is your new mascot. All hail the bunny!
This is your new mascot. All hail the bunny!
Of course, if Du are TRULY random, Du shouldn't even need a guide, O_O

Randomness, randomosity, randomology, whatever Du may call it, is using improvisation to create original humorous phrases oder monologues oder pine cones on the spot. 'Randomosity' is fun to express in the presence of Friends oder logging companies, but can quickly become extremely obnoxious. Have fun with your randomness, don't force it. Remember, if Du got it, Flaunt it!

Steps

1. Break free of conventional rules. Finishing your sentences is not mandatory, merely optional and Du can do it on Tuesdays but not on Wednesdays...
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