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posted by jessicamc26
A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's Mercedes back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car vorwärts-, nach vorn saving him from sinking! A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my 'thingy' and pull yourself up." And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety. The moral of the story: If Du are hung like a horse, Du don't need a Mercedes to pick up chicks.
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added by Simmeh
Breaking Poké-Bad
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breaking
poké-bad
The most realistic female android ever!
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the
most
realistic
female
android
ever!
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Source: trollposts@tumblr
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posted by Canada24
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Sense whatsupbugs reviewed Hazbin, I thought it'll be a fun excuse to re-review Helluva Boss. Back in the day, Viv made two pilots on her channel, both set in hell. And I knew from the beginning this was the one I preferred, the sitcom styled one starring Brandon Rogers and Richard Steven Horvitz.. Yeah that's right, she has Zim..

Like Hazbin, this series is intended for adult audiences. It deals with strong language, sexual content, and violence..

Like all shows, this has both positives and negatives, though the negatives are why I'm reluctant on watching Hazbin. Sense it's the same creator,...
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1. Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them! (oh yeah..you're not "popular" if you've slept with Mehr than 5 guys..you're a HOE)

2. "Hey, are Du busy?" oder "Are Du doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

3... Guys may be flirting around all Tag but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're gonna say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.

5. Guys go crazy over a girl's...
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posted by OmegaLeader
(Found it on the internet thought it was pretty interesting.)

You call your victim and Du want to confuse them. No laughing oder anything, just a normal voice like someone would call you. Me and my Friends do this a lot.


Script:
You call the person...

Person: Hello?
You: Hello?
Person: Uh, hi. Who is this and what do Du want?
You: What? Oh no no no no no! It is Du who is calling me. Ok, so what did Du need?
Person: No no I didn't call you. Du called me. Wait, who is this??
You: NO! I didn't call you! Du are the one who called me! Now i ask one Mehr time who are Du and why did Du call my at this...
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posted by sakurahanazono
Alpha kenny body

1.)Write down on a piece of paper "Alpha kenny body" and get someone to read it. (it sounds like they're saying I'll fuck anybody xD)

I won a math debate

2.)Write down "I won a math debate" and once again get someone to read it. (It should sound like they're saying I want to masterbate xD)

Eye map ness

3.) Say: Eye
Spell: Map
Say: ness

Write this down on paper and Du have to do as instructed on the left. (It sounds like they're saying I'm a penis xD)


Eye Emma rate hard

4.) write down "Eye emma rate hard" down on a piece of paper (it sounds like they're saying I'm a retard)

Eye M egg ay

5.) Say: Eye
Say: M
Say: egg
Say: ay

(It should sound like they're saying I am a gay xD)
1. Walk up to them and ask them for their autographs.
2. Walk up to them, introduce yourself extremely upbeat and friendly-like and end the conversation Von saying "It was nice to meet you. It's so cool to talk to people outside of the asylum." Then walk away.
3. While walking down the street, in a mall oder any other such place, laugh out loud for no apparent reason. Be as creative with the way Du laugh as Du wish.
4. Run up to them, excitedly calling them Father, Mother, Aunt oder Uncle. If Du dare, hug them.
5. While passing a Zufällig stranger, stop and exclaim to them, "You have no idea!" in a...
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Source: tumblr
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Source: dumage
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Source: ilovekud