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posted by someone_save_me
These are just some, Mehr will probably be added later.

I hate:
-Animal abusers
-Child abusers
-Butthurt moralfags (If Du get mad at me saying moralfags, well then, Du must be new here. I'm not homophobic.)
-3/4 the mainstream crap on the radio
-Jersey Shore
-Homophobes
-People who don't thank Du when Du open a door for them
-Toddlers and Tiaras
-People who are always snooPING AS usual I see. /shot so fuckin' hard
-Fuckers who judge people Von their appearance
-When my computer breaks down
-Fangirls who get mad at if Du aren't borderline insanely obsessed with the same thing they are (Go on the Michael Jackson club and see my point.)
-Homework
-School
-Dolores Umbridge
-Skeptics of every little thing. No I don't mean I hate atheists oder agnostics.
-Tumblr (No one murder me.)
-Rules
-People who disrespect their parents for no reason, like if your parents have always been nice and not strict to Du and Du just shit on their paperwork oder something. Not cool, man.
-People who think they're all awesome and brag about it so much
-Make up
-Girly shit
-Rule 34, especially when applied to ponies. *shudder*
-Fanwhores and any other breed of attention whore.
-People who send Berühmtheiten death threats just because they don't like their music
-DIAMOND FUCKING TIARA. The little cunt...
-Fanpop stalkers...
-When I can't remember what I was gonna type on Google oder go into a room and can't remember what I was gonna do...
-Dummkopf's who spam with shit no one cares about.
-Human interaction. It terrifies me, yo.
-When people get mad at me for cussing. On the INTERNET. Da hell?!
-Work
-Just plain doing things
-Being blamed for things I didn't do
-The fact that my ConspiracyKeanu account got suspended. Wasn't trolling, dammit
-Fucktards who think they're better than everyone else because they dress normal
-People who ship the stupidest, most unrelated shit!
-Shipping in general (Don't kill me for this either, it's just a waste of time and stupid to me.)
-FARMVILLE, DAMMIT. Lame-ass shit dude.
-The fact that Du can't get in the army if you've ever broken a bone oder whatever.
-HUMANITY.
-When Du start to like songs oder other things like that Du used to hate with a fiery passion.
-When people says "It's a free country" on the internet. Dummkopf not everyone on the internet is American.
-The word "swag" and every fucker who over-uses it.


K I'll add Mehr later bai for now.


Now for an unrelated picture to lighten the angry mood of something I most certainly don't hate.
 Because why the fuck not.
Because why the fuck not.
posted by penguin7710
User: I'm a unicorn.


Cleverbot: My boyfriend is a dragon.


User: So you're a girl?


Cleverbot: Yes.


User: Cool. So am I.


Cleverbot: And what do Du play?

User: Unicorn games.

Cleverbot: Like twilight sparkle?

User: Sure.

Cleverbot: Do Du know israel?

User: Do Du like singing.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: We should sing.

Cleverbot: Ok, where?

User: F is for Friends who do stuff together.

Cleverbot: B is for basket to put stuff in.

User: A is for apes to kill rapist.

Cleverbot: Apples.

User: Bannanas.

Cleverbot: apfel, apple not bananas.

User: Carrots.

Cleverbot: Pineaples.

User: For a robot Du don't know how to spell.

Cleverbot:...
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1.SpongeBob SqaurePants
2.The Legend of Korra
3.Aaahh!!!Real Monsters
4.The Ren and Stimpy Show
5.(Impractical)Jokers
6.Resturant:Impossible
7.Family Guy
8.Pranked!
9.Tanked
10.Max and Ruby(Just to make fun of it)
11.Adventure Time
12.Regular Show
13.MAD
14.Scrubs
15.Everybody Hates Chris
16.That 70s' Show
17.All That
18.Kenan and Kel
19.My Cat From Hell
20.Dogs101
21.Ellen
22.Law and Order
23.Judge Judy
24.Judge Mathis
25.Judge Ross
26.The Wonder Years
27.My Little Pony:Friendship is Magic
28.Rocko's Modern Life
29.Phineis and Ferb
30.Hey,Arnold!

NOTE:Listed in no particular order.
posted by koolamelia
1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."

2. If Du have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

3. Start each meal Von conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

4. Name your dog "Dog."

5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what Du think."

7. Claim that Du must always wear a bicycle helm as part of your "astronaut training."

8. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything...
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1.where Du keep yOUR diary!!
2.if u r on your peroid oder nawt!!
3.Who Du talk 2 on the phone
4.THat Du are super jelous oder other girls (or boys)
5.That Du hate most of his family.
6.THat when a crisi comes up Du will run to him
7.What yuor style is!!
8.That like to watch scary movies(LOL)
9.That Du have an internet profile.
10.AND the last your cell number!! OMG they practliy break the phone!!!
11.How smart Du are at fixing things.


GIRLS STAY KEWL,BEAUTYFUL, and if any guys try to break tht BREAK THEYRE FACe!!!!
 I cartooned myself and this is wat i got!!!
I cartooned myself and this is wat i got!!!
posted by j-bfan7
Edward pulled two tickets out of his mantel pocket with an unusually questionable grin on his face. I hadn’t seen this expression before. His eyes were bigger than normal, and black. I could see that he needed to hunt. His head tilted slightly downwards, and while one side of his lips curled up, somehow the other side seemed to curl down. Edward looked as though he didn’t know if he wanted to smile, oder frown.

“Are those plane tickets?” It sounded Mehr eager out loud than it did in my head.

Edward shifted his dark gaze down at the two tickets he held between his long, porcelain-like fingers,...
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posted by justinbieberfw
1. Cause it felt like it.

2. mayb it wanted 2. EVR THINK OF THAT!!!!!????

3. It wanted 2 make chiken soup

4. it wanted some chiken soup.

5. it needed 2 get to the other side

6. it saw Justin Bieber (all chickens r Fans of him u no)

7. on the other side of the road was a KFC

8. the ppl on his side kept asken Y did the chicken kreuz the road

9. he had reasons 2

10. he was lost

11. he wanted to make this joke

12. he wanted 2 bcome famous with this joke.

P.S. i coodnt member the rest of the original joke!lol
posted by yoshifan1976
Once there was a black Yoshi named Bob. He was new to town and didn't have any friends. He was a kind and caring Yoshi who had the power to heal. He went to school and saw a group of Yoshis. Bob asked the other Yoshis if he could play with them. The other Yoshis laughed and scoffed at him. He didn't get angry. He just walked away with his head to the ground. Then suddenly, a human was very very sick. She was taken to the hospital. The doctors couldn't admit her. There was nothing they could do. "Yoshi", he said. It meant let me heal her. Then out of the blue, Bob laid his hand on her chest and there was a light shining. Then the human was cured!!! "Thank you", she said. "Yoshi". (Which means you're welcome). The other Yoshis saw what was going on and they apologized to Bob in Yoshi. He forgave them and then they played tag. Then no one ever teased Bob again. He had new Friends and they lived happily ever after.
posted by Shelly_McShelly
Bill, Jim, and Scott were at a convention together and were sharing a large suite on the oben, nach oben of a 75 story sky scraper. After a long Tag of meetings they were shocked to hear that the elevators in their hotel were broken and they would have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their room. Bill sagte to Jim and Scott, let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task Von concentrating on something interesting. I'll tell jokes for 25 flights, and Jim can sing songs for 25 flights, and Scott can tell sad stories the rest of the way. At the 26th floor Bill stopped telling jokes and Jim began to sing. At the 51st floor Jim stopped Singen and Scott began to tell sad stories. "I will tell my saddest story first," he said. "I left the room key in the car!"
Almost every week, BBC publishes 10 things we learn every week. Here are the facts from this week.

1. iPhones are not yet sold in China.

2. Margaret Thatcher suffered one Parliamentary defeat as Prime Minister - on Sunday trading laws.

3. English holidaymakers drink an average of eight alcoholic drinks a day.

4. The UK population grew in Mehr 2008 than at any time since 1962.

5. Meanwhile, Germany's population is shrinking.

6. West Ham's stadium is really called the Boleyn Ground, not Upton Park.

7. The smell of cut gras, grass makes people happy.

8. A pint glass lasts an average of only three months.

9. An Englishman sailed to the "New World" only two years after the first European is thought to have landed in Newfoundland.

10. Men in China cannot marry until they are 22.

Hopefully there will be Mehr Weiter week.
added by LovableXNerd
Source: Google
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Holiday Inn, Charlestown South Carolina

Three women arrived in a Chevrolet Cruze. Two were sitting up front, while one was in the back seat.

Cara: *Gets out of the car with Edith* We'll be right back. We need to get something important.
Edith: Leave the engine running.
Charlotte: *Nods. She watches the women walk into the hotel, then picks up her phone to talk to her mother*
Mom: Hello?
Charlotte: Hi Mom, charlotte here.
Mom: How are Du doing?
Charlotte: Good. I made a couple of new friends, and I just became a member of this group called Social Justice Warriors.
Mom: Congratulations darling. I need...
continue reading...
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added by GDragon612
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