I got it somewhere n thought i should share it.
101 Ways To Annoy People
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with Friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."
5. If Du have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
6. Amuse yourself for endless hours Von hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <
7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.
8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
9. Start each meal Von conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.
11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
12. Sniffle incessantly.
13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
14. Name your dog "Dog."
15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what Du think."
17. Claim that Du must always wear a bicycle helm as part of your "astronaut training."
18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".
19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.
21. Practice making fax and modem noises.
22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors Du are a "spider person."
26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."
27. Wear a special hip halfter, holster for your
remote control.
28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying Mehr any moment.
29. Signal that a conversation is over Von clamping your hands over your ears.
30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink patrone across the room.
31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
32. Holler Zufällig numbers while someone is counting.
33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that Du "like it that way."
34. Drum on every available surface.
35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.
38. Sew anti-theft detector strips
into peoples backpacks.
39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
41. Set alarms for Zufällig times.
42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train Weiter Thanksgiving.
44. Publicly investigate just how slowly Du can make a "croaking" noise.
45. Honk and wave to strangers.
46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.
47. Change channels five Minuten before the end of every show.
48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
49. Wear your pants backwards.
50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints Von the cash register.
51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
53. only type in lowercase.
54. dont use any punctuation either
55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
56. Pay for your abendessen with pennies.
57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in Zufällig spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
60. Inform everyone Du meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.
61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do Du hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."
62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.
63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
65. Demand that everyone address Du as "Conquistador."
66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
67. When Weihnachten caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
71. Pretend your computer's maus is a CB radio, and talk to it.
72. Try playing the William Tell Overture Von tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
73. Drive half a block.
74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
75. Ask people what gender they are.
76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.
77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.
78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that Du don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" oder the Mr. Rogers theme song.
80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.
81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
82. Leave your Weihnachten lights up and lit until September.
83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
86. Wear a LOT of cologne.
87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."
88. Sing along at the opera.
89. Mow your lawn with scissors.
90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"
91. Ask the waitress for an extra sitz for your "imaginary friend."
92. Go to a Poesie recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their Antwort in a notebook. Mutter something
about "psychological profiles."
94. Stare at static on the TV and claim Du can see a "magic picture."
95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
96. Never make eye contact.
97. Never break eye contact.
98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.
100. Make appointments for the 31st of September.
101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
101 Ways To Annoy People
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with Friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."
5. If Du have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
6. Amuse yourself for endless hours Von hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <
7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.
8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
9. Start each meal Von conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.
11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
12. Sniffle incessantly.
13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
14. Name your dog "Dog."
15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what Du think."
17. Claim that Du must always wear a bicycle helm as part of your "astronaut training."
18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".
19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.
21. Practice making fax and modem noises.
22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors Du are a "spider person."
26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."
27. Wear a special hip halfter, holster for your
remote control.
28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying Mehr any moment.
29. Signal that a conversation is over Von clamping your hands over your ears.
30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink patrone across the room.
31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
32. Holler Zufällig numbers while someone is counting.
33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that Du "like it that way."
34. Drum on every available surface.
35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.
38. Sew anti-theft detector strips
into peoples backpacks.
39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
41. Set alarms for Zufällig times.
42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train Weiter Thanksgiving.
44. Publicly investigate just how slowly Du can make a "croaking" noise.
45. Honk and wave to strangers.
46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.
47. Change channels five Minuten before the end of every show.
48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
49. Wear your pants backwards.
50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints Von the cash register.
51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
53. only type in lowercase.
54. dont use any punctuation either
55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
56. Pay for your abendessen with pennies.
57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in Zufällig spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
60. Inform everyone Du meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.
61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do Du hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."
62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.
63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
65. Demand that everyone address Du as "Conquistador."
66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
67. When Weihnachten caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
71. Pretend your computer's maus is a CB radio, and talk to it.
72. Try playing the William Tell Overture Von tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
73. Drive half a block.
74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
75. Ask people what gender they are.
76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.
77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.
78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that Du don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" oder the Mr. Rogers theme song.
80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.
81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
82. Leave your Weihnachten lights up and lit until September.
83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
86. Wear a LOT of cologne.
87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."
88. Sing along at the opera.
89. Mow your lawn with scissors.
90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"
91. Ask the waitress for an extra sitz for your "imaginary friend."
92. Go to a Poesie recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their Antwort in a notebook. Mutter something
about "psychological profiles."
94. Stare at static on the TV and claim Du can see a "magic picture."
95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
96. Never make eye contact.
97. Never break eye contact.
98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.
100. Make appointments for the 31st of September.
101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
Haaaaaiii.
So today we're talking about the little girls Zeigen that everyone loves. Even fat guys that eat nachos! Can I be your friend, fat guy?
ANYWAYZ, the fat guys call themselves brownies. I don't know why, cuz brownies are little Schokolade sqaures that don't even watch little girl shows. But that's what they call themselves.
Well, not all of them are fat guys. Some are really hot guys and some are cute girls.
And anyway, it's about Twilight Fartle and her friends, Appleshit, Pinkie Piss, Flutter-oh-my, regenbogen hündin and Rari-pee. They go on adventures and puke on Princess Barf-estia.
So today we're talking about the little girls Zeigen that everyone loves. Even fat guys that eat nachos! Can I be your friend, fat guy?
ANYWAYZ, the fat guys call themselves brownies. I don't know why, cuz brownies are little Schokolade sqaures that don't even watch little girl shows. But that's what they call themselves.
Well, not all of them are fat guys. Some are really hot guys and some are cute girls.
And anyway, it's about Twilight Fartle and her friends, Appleshit, Pinkie Piss, Flutter-oh-my, regenbogen hündin and Rari-pee. They go on adventures and puke on Princess Barf-estia.
Haaaiiii.
Today we're gonna talk about the "NUMBER ONE MOVIE OF THE YEAR!", Frozehhhnnn!
So it starts out, there's a gurl named Elsa. And a gurl named Anna, but Du pronounce it like Ahhh-nna. I dunno.
Anyway, so Elsa becomes evil and kills everybody. The end!
No, I'm just playing. Every inch of Du is perfect from the bottom to the top.
Yeh, mah momma she told meh dont worry about yo size...
ANYWAYZ
Elsa REALLY gets ice powers and THEN she kills everybody. Sorry.
ANYWAYZ
Elsa REALLY, REALLY gets ice powers and only kills Ahh-nna. Yeah.
Today we're gonna talk about the "NUMBER ONE MOVIE OF THE YEAR!", Frozehhhnnn!
So it starts out, there's a gurl named Elsa. And a gurl named Anna, but Du pronounce it like Ahhh-nna. I dunno.
Anyway, so Elsa becomes evil and kills everybody. The end!
No, I'm just playing. Every inch of Du is perfect from the bottom to the top.
Yeh, mah momma she told meh dont worry about yo size...
ANYWAYZ
Elsa REALLY gets ice powers and THEN she kills everybody. Sorry.
ANYWAYZ
Elsa REALLY, REALLY gets ice powers and only kills Ahh-nna. Yeah.
