Bill Gates Goes to Heaven
Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself in purgatory, being sized up Von St. Peter.
"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm not sure whether to send Du to Heaven oder Hell. After all, Du enormously helped society Von putting a computer in almost every Home in America, yet Du also created that ghastly Windows '95. I'm going to do something I've never done before in your case; I'm going to let Du decide where Du want to go."
Bill replied, "well, what's the difference between the two?"
St. Peter said, "I'm willing to let Du visit both places briefly, if it will help your decision."
"Fine, but where should I go first?"
"I'll leave that up to you."
"Okay then," sagte Bill, "Let's try Hell first."
So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy strand with clear waters and lots of bikini-clad women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining; the temperature perfect. He was very pleased.
"This is great!" he told St. Peter. "If this is hell, I really want to see heaven!"
"Fine," sagte St. Peter, and off they went.
Heaven was a place high in the clouds, with Engel drifting about, playing harps and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell.
Bill thought for a quick minute, and rendered his decision.
"Hmmm. I think I'd prefer Hell," he told St. Peter.
"Fine," retorted St. Peter, "as Du desire."
So Bill Gates went to Hell.
Two weeks later, St. Peter decided to check on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When he got there, he found Bill, shackled to a wall, screaming amongst hot flames in dark caves, being burned and tortured Von demons.
"How's everything going?" he asked Bill.
Bill responded, with his voice filled with anguish and disappointment, "this is awful! This is nothing like the Hell I visited two weeks ago! I can't believe this is happening! What happened to that other place, with the beautiful beaches, the scantily-clad women playing in the water?!???
"That was a demo," replied St. Peter
Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself in purgatory, being sized up Von St. Peter.
"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm not sure whether to send Du to Heaven oder Hell. After all, Du enormously helped society Von putting a computer in almost every Home in America, yet Du also created that ghastly Windows '95. I'm going to do something I've never done before in your case; I'm going to let Du decide where Du want to go."
Bill replied, "well, what's the difference between the two?"
St. Peter said, "I'm willing to let Du visit both places briefly, if it will help your decision."
"Fine, but where should I go first?"
"I'll leave that up to you."
"Okay then," sagte Bill, "Let's try Hell first."
So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy strand with clear waters and lots of bikini-clad women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining; the temperature perfect. He was very pleased.
"This is great!" he told St. Peter. "If this is hell, I really want to see heaven!"
"Fine," sagte St. Peter, and off they went.
Heaven was a place high in the clouds, with Engel drifting about, playing harps and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell.
Bill thought for a quick minute, and rendered his decision.
"Hmmm. I think I'd prefer Hell," he told St. Peter.
"Fine," retorted St. Peter, "as Du desire."
So Bill Gates went to Hell.
Two weeks later, St. Peter decided to check on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When he got there, he found Bill, shackled to a wall, screaming amongst hot flames in dark caves, being burned and tortured Von demons.
"How's everything going?" he asked Bill.
Bill responded, with his voice filled with anguish and disappointment, "this is awful! This is nothing like the Hell I visited two weeks ago! I can't believe this is happening! What happened to that other place, with the beautiful beaches, the scantily-clad women playing in the water?!???
"That was a demo," replied St. Peter
1. Run up a down escalator naked
2. Walk into the middle of 2 gangs about to fight and sing michael jacksons beat it
3. Fart really loudly in a crowded elevator
4. Walk into a biker bar and sing Mocho Man oder YMCA
5. schlagen, punsch someone in the face for no reason
6. Drive through detroit with rucka rucka ali's 'Detroit' Blaring through a speaker on oben, nach oben of my car
7. Do the tour de france on a motorbike and schlagen, punsch all the cyclers
8. rugby tackle someone of a tall building
9. BIG STRANGER RODEO!!!!!!!
10. Steal a doctors stepha-thingy and pretend to examine him
11. Walk into a church dressed as Jesus oder Chuck Norris and shout "i am the lord god"
2. Walk into the middle of 2 gangs about to fight and sing michael jacksons beat it
3. Fart really loudly in a crowded elevator
4. Walk into a biker bar and sing Mocho Man oder YMCA
5. schlagen, punsch someone in the face for no reason
6. Drive through detroit with rucka rucka ali's 'Detroit' Blaring through a speaker on oben, nach oben of my car
7. Do the tour de france on a motorbike and schlagen, punsch all the cyclers
8. rugby tackle someone of a tall building
9. BIG STRANGER RODEO!!!!!!!
10. Steal a doctors stepha-thingy and pretend to examine him
11. Walk into a church dressed as Jesus oder Chuck Norris and shout "i am the lord god"
1. Walk up to a Zufällig person, grab both their shoulders, look into their eyes and say, "I feel bad for you, son."
2. Walk up to a Zufällig person, then point to another person and whisper loud enough for the person Du are pointing at to hear, "That guy seriously has issues for him to work out."
3. Walk up to a Zufällig person the same gender as Du and say, "Yes! I like your movements!" oder "You're as tight as fuck!" Especially if it's an adult with little children.
4. In a place where there are a lot of people, point to a Zufällig man's dick and yell out, "There's a raccoon! Natures ninjas! Oh shiiittt!"
5. Just walk up to a person don't even know and say, "You again!? Meh, it's your life."
2. Walk up to a Zufällig person, then point to another person and whisper loud enough for the person Du are pointing at to hear, "That guy seriously has issues for him to work out."
3. Walk up to a Zufällig person the same gender as Du and say, "Yes! I like your movements!" oder "You're as tight as fuck!" Especially if it's an adult with little children.
4. In a place where there are a lot of people, point to a Zufällig man's dick and yell out, "There's a raccoon! Natures ninjas! Oh shiiittt!"
5. Just walk up to a person don't even know and say, "You again!? Meh, it's your life."
1. Everytime Du read Twilight, a kitten is born :D
2. If Du are obbsessed with mythical creatures, read Twilight!
3. If your life is all sad and gloomy, read Twilight!
4. If your completely bored, why not read Twilight!
5. ITS JUST AWESOME!!!!!! well to me and all the other Twilighters out there :D
PLEASE NO BAD COMMENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. If Du are obbsessed with mythical creatures, read Twilight!
3. If your life is all sad and gloomy, read Twilight!
4. If your completely bored, why not read Twilight!
5. ITS JUST AWESOME!!!!!! well to me and all the other Twilighters out there :D
PLEASE NO BAD COMMENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!