Here are some funny New Year's resolutions for 2012...
I will think of a Passwort other than "password" oder "hello".
I will not tell the same story at every get together.
I won't worry so much.
I will cut my hair.
I will grow my hair.
I will stop considering other people's feelings when they so obviously don't consider mine - if that unwashed fellow sits Weiter to me again, I'll tell him he stinks!
I will be Mehr imaginative.
I will not bore my boss Von with the same excuse for taking leaves. I will think of some Mehr excuses.
I will do less laundry and use Mehr deodorant.
I will avoid taking a bath whenever possible and conserve Mehr water.
Assure my lawyer that I will never again Zeigen up drunk at a custody hearing.
I will give up chocolates totally. 100%. Completely. Honestly....
I will try to figure out why I *really* need nine e-mail addresses.
I will stop sending e-mails to my wife (husband).
I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own.
I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person.
I will spend less than one Stunde a Tag on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher.
I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it.
I will not hang around girls - they think Du Liebe them and that sucks.
I will not ring the stewardess button on airplanes just to get her phone number.
I resolve to work with neglected children. (my own).
I will answer my schnecke mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail.
When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!"
I will not ring the stewardess button on airplanes just to get her phone number.
I will balance my checkbook. (on my nose).
I will find out why the correspondence course on "Mail Fraud" that I purchased never showed up.
Start buying lottery tickets at a luckier store.
Remember to brush teeth with bristly end of toothbrush.
Don't eat medicine just because it looks like candy.
Always replace the gas nozzle before driving away from the pump.
I will always "check for paper" when leaving the restroom.
I will try to drive closer to the speed limit.
I will keep an extra safe, sicher distance when driving behind police cars.
Really Funny New Jahr Resolutions for 2010
I will be Mehr imaginative.
I will not wet the bett and blame it on my younger brother.
I promise to clean my room once a week even though I haven't cleaned it Mehr than once in the last year.
I will always replace the gas nozzle before driving away from the pump.
I will always "check for paper" before and after leaving a public restroom.
I will try to drive closer to the speed limit.
I will always wear clean underwear, "just in case".
I will keep an extra safe, sicher distance when driving behind police cars.
Never again will I try to diffuse an explosive device with a known practical joker.
Read less books. A little learning is a dangerous thing. Too much of it can really wreck your head.
Gain weight, at least 40 pounds. Didn't your mom always say Du were bit skinny.
Cut down on exercise. Too much is bad for your health, it can even kill you.
Watch Mehr TV. It's very educational. Catch up on all those programs Du missed down the years.
Draw up a Liste of people who were nasty to Du in the past year, get your own back on them in the Weiter year!
Drink more. Wasn't it Benjamin Franklin who said, bier is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. So be happy.
Eat Mehr nice things like candy, Big Macs, popcorn and ice cream. Eat less crap like fresh fruit, vegetables and soy nuts.
Work less. Take it easy. All work and no play can make Du a dull boy oder girl.
Play Mehr computer games. Scientists say they're good for Du and improve your visual skills. But Du always knew that.
Take up some worthwhile new habit, like smoking - it helps keep tobacco workers in jobs.
I will drink less beer, last Jahr I drank enough bier to have kept the Titanic afloat.
I will spend less money on buying useless stuff like this new DVD Rewinder I had ordered for christmas.
I will drive Mehr carefully, people are starting to notice the dozens of dents in my car.
I will treat my girlfriend better, I won't make her carry all the groceries the Weiter time we go to the market.
I promise to be nice to my dog. I won't starve him to death Mehr than 10 times.... in a month.
I will no longer interfere in a game.
I will not hang around girls - they think Du Liebe them and that sucks.
Mehr Funny New Year's Resolutions for 2011
I will leave my brain at Home while going to watch a supposedly scary Filme like Scary Movie 1, 2, 3 & 4!
I will never again take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
I will never again eat a jack Obst before going to a public function.
I resolve to hold my breath and pull in my paunch when I kreuz my young secretary.
I will stop saying," Ooh, that feels nice" whenever the security guys frisk me at airports.
I resolve not to see any serial oder movie in which any dead character is brought alive.
I resolve not to call any phone number of any TV contest as they are always kept off the hook.
I resolve not to swim in any swimming pool without water.
I resolve to stop poisoning my family with my cooking.
My New Jahr resolution is: 1024 Von 968 pixels!
Learn what the hell "resolution" means.
I promise to stick to these resolutions for Mehr than a week (even though I never do).
I will think of a Passwort other than "password" oder "hello".
I will not tell the same story at every get together.
I won't worry so much.
I will cut my hair.
I will grow my hair.
I will stop considering other people's feelings when they so obviously don't consider mine - if that unwashed fellow sits Weiter to me again, I'll tell him he stinks!
I will be Mehr imaginative.
I will not bore my boss Von with the same excuse for taking leaves. I will think of some Mehr excuses.
I will do less laundry and use Mehr deodorant.
I will avoid taking a bath whenever possible and conserve Mehr water.
Assure my lawyer that I will never again Zeigen up drunk at a custody hearing.
I will give up chocolates totally. 100%. Completely. Honestly....
I will try to figure out why I *really* need nine e-mail addresses.
I will stop sending e-mails to my wife (husband).
I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own.
I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person.
I will spend less than one Stunde a Tag on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher.
I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it.
I will not hang around girls - they think Du Liebe them and that sucks.
I will not ring the stewardess button on airplanes just to get her phone number.
I resolve to work with neglected children. (my own).
I will answer my schnecke mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail.
When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!"
I will not ring the stewardess button on airplanes just to get her phone number.
I will balance my checkbook. (on my nose).
I will find out why the correspondence course on "Mail Fraud" that I purchased never showed up.
Start buying lottery tickets at a luckier store.
Remember to brush teeth with bristly end of toothbrush.
Don't eat medicine just because it looks like candy.
Always replace the gas nozzle before driving away from the pump.
I will always "check for paper" when leaving the restroom.
I will try to drive closer to the speed limit.
I will keep an extra safe, sicher distance when driving behind police cars.
Really Funny New Jahr Resolutions for 2010
I will be Mehr imaginative.
I will not wet the bett and blame it on my younger brother.
I promise to clean my room once a week even though I haven't cleaned it Mehr than once in the last year.
I will always replace the gas nozzle before driving away from the pump.
I will always "check for paper" before and after leaving a public restroom.
I will try to drive closer to the speed limit.
I will always wear clean underwear, "just in case".
I will keep an extra safe, sicher distance when driving behind police cars.
Never again will I try to diffuse an explosive device with a known practical joker.
Read less books. A little learning is a dangerous thing. Too much of it can really wreck your head.
Gain weight, at least 40 pounds. Didn't your mom always say Du were bit skinny.
Cut down on exercise. Too much is bad for your health, it can even kill you.
Watch Mehr TV. It's very educational. Catch up on all those programs Du missed down the years.
Draw up a Liste of people who were nasty to Du in the past year, get your own back on them in the Weiter year!
Drink more. Wasn't it Benjamin Franklin who said, bier is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. So be happy.
Eat Mehr nice things like candy, Big Macs, popcorn and ice cream. Eat less crap like fresh fruit, vegetables and soy nuts.
Work less. Take it easy. All work and no play can make Du a dull boy oder girl.
Play Mehr computer games. Scientists say they're good for Du and improve your visual skills. But Du always knew that.
Take up some worthwhile new habit, like smoking - it helps keep tobacco workers in jobs.
I will drink less beer, last Jahr I drank enough bier to have kept the Titanic afloat.
I will spend less money on buying useless stuff like this new DVD Rewinder I had ordered for christmas.
I will drive Mehr carefully, people are starting to notice the dozens of dents in my car.
I will treat my girlfriend better, I won't make her carry all the groceries the Weiter time we go to the market.
I promise to be nice to my dog. I won't starve him to death Mehr than 10 times.... in a month.
I will no longer interfere in a game.
I will not hang around girls - they think Du Liebe them and that sucks.
Mehr Funny New Year's Resolutions for 2011
I will leave my brain at Home while going to watch a supposedly scary Filme like Scary Movie 1, 2, 3 & 4!
I will never again take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
I will never again eat a jack Obst before going to a public function.
I resolve to hold my breath and pull in my paunch when I kreuz my young secretary.
I will stop saying," Ooh, that feels nice" whenever the security guys frisk me at airports.
I resolve not to see any serial oder movie in which any dead character is brought alive.
I resolve not to call any phone number of any TV contest as they are always kept off the hook.
I resolve not to swim in any swimming pool without water.
I resolve to stop poisoning my family with my cooking.
My New Jahr resolution is: 1024 Von 968 pixels!
Learn what the hell "resolution" means.
I promise to stick to these resolutions for Mehr than a week (even though I never do).
u wudnt know if there was brot on yer head now wud u if u ask why u wudnt know if there is brot on yer head its cuz it is floating above yer head and u cant see it if the brot is on yer head which u wudnt know at less i told u and if u wud like to get it off dont try to get it off and oder eat the brot that is on yer head cuz if u do u will die and to get the brot off of yer head u must go to the bottom of a pool and ask the master of crayons to remove the brot that is on yer head so u can on living without brot on yer head.....if u servived under water that long which i rly doubt u did so wen u die the brot that was once above yer head with haunt yer grave and float above yer grave like the magic floating brot it is so if i tell u that there is brot on yer head i suggest not to do anything cuz it ont even bother u at less u try to remove it yerself only the master of crayons can so just dont do anything and go on living life with a loaf of brot on yer head
I HOPE Du ENJOY!
dora!
boots!
come on dora!
do-do-do-do-dora!
do-do-do-do-dora!
do-do-do-do-dora!
do-do-do-do-dora!
lets go!
dora dora dora the explorer!
DORA!
boots and supercool exploradora!
we need your help!
grab your backpack!
lets go!
jump in!
vamonos!
Du can lead the way!
hey! hey!
do-do-dora!
do-d-dora!
swiper no swiping!
swiper no swiping! (oh man)
it;s dora the explorer!
--------------------------------------------------
dora dora
ven, ven
dora dora la exploradora
dale con el sol pequeña dora
vamos salta tu puedes niña
consulta a tu mapa
tutu dora tutu dora tutu dora
lets go
The End!
dora!
boots!
come on dora!
do-do-do-do-dora!
do-do-do-do-dora!
do-do-do-do-dora!
do-do-do-do-dora!
lets go!
dora dora dora the explorer!
DORA!
boots and supercool exploradora!
we need your help!
grab your backpack!
lets go!
jump in!
vamonos!
Du can lead the way!
hey! hey!
do-do-dora!
do-d-dora!
swiper no swiping!
swiper no swiping! (oh man)
it;s dora the explorer!
--------------------------------------------------
dora dora
ven, ven
dora dora la exploradora
dale con el sol pequeña dora
vamos salta tu puedes niña
consulta a tu mapa
tutu dora tutu dora tutu dora
lets go
The End!
These Zitate are Zitate with differnt meanings of frettchen oder just the animal.
“If a frettchen bites Du it is nearly always your own fault.”
“To go rabbit hunting with a dead ferret"
“I'm not sure what the Ansichten are. I had a private conversation and I did get a feeling ? a feeling. Well, Du can't take a feeling to the bank. So, it's up to me to try to frettchen it out.”
“I can't talk to a man who bears an undeserved animosity towards ferrets.”
“You need that U.N. inspection team in there on the ground. They're the people that can find it and frettchen it out,”
“We still have a lot of work to do, and we still have to work on recovering prairie dog populations so the ferrets can survive.”
The End!
“If a frettchen bites Du it is nearly always your own fault.”
“To go rabbit hunting with a dead ferret"
“I'm not sure what the Ansichten are. I had a private conversation and I did get a feeling ? a feeling. Well, Du can't take a feeling to the bank. So, it's up to me to try to frettchen it out.”
“I can't talk to a man who bears an undeserved animosity towards ferrets.”
“You need that U.N. inspection team in there on the ground. They're the people that can find it and frettchen it out,”
“We still have a lot of work to do, and we still have to work on recovering prairie dog populations so the ferrets can survive.”
The End!
♥If you're asking if I need you,♥
♥The answer is forever♥
♥If you're asking if I'll leave you♥
♥ The answer is never♥
♥If you're asking what I value,♥
♥The answer is you♥
♥If you're asking if I Liebe you♥
♥The answer is I do♥
☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮
READ THIS!!! I didn't write this poem, I found it earlier today.
♥The answer is forever♥
♥If you're asking if I'll leave you♥
♥ The answer is never♥
♥If you're asking what I value,♥
♥The answer is you♥
♥If you're asking if I Liebe you♥
♥The answer is I do♥
☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮
READ THIS!!! I didn't write this poem, I found it earlier today.