The Secrets We Keep- Chapter Five
As soon as the words had escaped his mouth, he knew that they were true. Just looking down into this little girl’s face, Chuck knew that she was his daughter just as much as he knew that Blair was a lying bitch. He couldn’t stop staring at her face; his daughter was just so beautiful. She had so many of his features that it frightened him that another person looked so much like him. He heard Blair come up behind him and the anger that he had been trying to dismiss came roaring back. He turned his face towards her and she immediately stepped back when she saw the rage that was shimmering on his face. Blair took one last look at him and quickly opened the door and closed it behind her. He followed her out.
She looked up at him with her big, brown, innocent eyes and in that moment, he wanted nothing Mehr than to put his hands around her neck and strangle her. After everything she had done to him, this certainly was the biggest piece of shit that anyone had ever done to another human being.
He walked menacingly towards her and sagte in a deadly whisper, “That little girl in there is mine, isn’t she?”
She nodded her head. “Yes, she is.”
“Son of a bitch! How could Du do this to me?”
Blair’s eyes glazed over with sadness and with a shaky hand she reached over to touch him but he saw what she was planning to do and grabbed her hand. “Don’t Du fucking touch me! I want nothing to do with you. Ever. Again.”
Her face fell but she moved her hand away from his. “You promised me Chuck that Du wouldn’t ever hate me when I told Du the secret. Are Du going to go back on that now?”
He gritted his teeth in a rage and the fact that he was so angry scared him almost. He had never felt like this around Blair and it wasn’t a good feeling. “How the hell could Du keep my daughter away from me? Answer me that and I will tell Du if I hate you.”
“Let’s go into the living room and discuss this. I don’t want to wake her up.”
He sagte nothing but followed her down the stairs. Once they were in the living room, she took a sitz on the sofa and patted the cushion Weiter to hers.
“Oh hell, no. I’m not going to go near you. I’m tired of the bullshit Blair, tell me the whole truth now oder I’m walking out.”
She knew that she had to try and appease him. “Okay, I know that Du deserve that much at least. Just promise me that Du will not fly off the handle until I explain everything to you.”
“I will not make any such promises. Du don’t deserve anything from me, Blair.”
She sighed heavily. “I found out I was pregnant the Tag that your father died and that is ultimately the reason that I left. I know that it was stupid and not wise in the least but I was just so scared and I just had laid my herz on the line and told Du that I loved you, and Du sagte nothing back to me.”
Against his better judgment, he walked over to her and hissed, “Don’t Du dare blame any of this on me.”
“I’m not Chuck, it’s just that Du don’t know even realize how scared that I was. I was barely eighteen and I was pregnant with your baby. Du know that you’re a womanizer and I knew that Du would never want to be tied down when Du were eighteen with a baby. Du weren’t ready for that and neither was I but I knew I made a mistake the moment I left, although I knew that Du would never want to care for a child when your own father had just died. Du never had a good relationship with him and that made me think that Du would be scared off of the idea of having a child and I panicked.”
He shook his head in disgust. “You didn’t panic Blair, Du ran away like the fucking coward that Du are.”
“You have every right to be angry Chuck, but I am sorry. I don’t know what else to say.”
He decided to sit on the arm of the sofa. “I don’t fucking believe this!” He exclaimed as he tore his fingers through his hair. “You’ve kept my daughter from me for over three years, I know that we weren’t ready for a child but we would have figured something out.”
She smiled sadly and she hated the look of anger and despair on his face. In the moment she wished that she had never told him the truth. At least that way he wouldn’t hate her like he obviously did now. “How would we have raised a child Chuck, when we weren’t even together? All we did was play games with each other. Childish games.”
He raised his head and there were tears shimmering in his eyes. “We could have made it work, Blair. But that is now not a possibility. I never thought that Du would do this to me and Du claim to Liebe me. What the hell do Du think I am? Do Du think I’m stupid?”
Blair felt like pulling her hair out but instead she walked over to the huge bucht window and looked out while she answered him. “Are we back to this again? How many times do I have to tell Du that I did Liebe you? The reason I took off for France was because I loved Du and I didn’t think we were ready for this. I did it for you, Chuck.”
“Bullshit!” He shouted as he came to stand behind her. “How can Du say that Du loved me when Du did this? It’s always the same thing with you, Blair. First you’re in Liebe with Nate, then Du sleep with me in the back of my limo, then you’re back with Nathaniel again, and then Du decide that Du want me again. Du just don’t know what Du want and if Du did Liebe me then I feel really sorry for you. What would Du do to your worst enemy if Du fucked me over like this?”
She turned around to face him and grabbed his hand, he tried to pull it out of her grasp but she wouldn’t let him. “I understand your anger and Du have every right to be but never tell me that I didn’t Liebe you. I loved Du like I have never loved anybody in my entire life and that didn’t change just because we weren’t together. Nate was just a phase for me, that’s what I thought I wanted my life to be like. I thought that I wanted the perfect white knight but instead I wanted the dark and brooding tortured soul.”
Chuck let out a snort of disbelief and narrowed his eyes at her. “You say that Du never loved anybody like Du have me, which I believe is a crock of shit Von the way. What about Ben? Your fiancée?”
She took a shaky breath and let go of his hand. The intensity of his gaze was burning through her skin and she wanted nothing Mehr than to wickeln, wickeln sie her arms around him but that was certainly impossible now. “I don’t Liebe Ben like I loved you, Chuck. I will never Liebe anybody the way I Liebe you.” She admitted quietly.
For a Minute the anger faded on his face but then he remembered what she had done and it all came back to him in a second. He decided to change the subject before she could get her claws into him again. “What did Du say her name was? Meg?
A dazzling smile came over her face. “Yes, her name is Meg. She is absolutely the most wonderful little girl in the world. She had both of our personalities although I think it’s mostly yours.” A grin came over his face at this. “And when she was born she looked exactly like you, Chuck. She has your grin and your looks.”
The grin on his face slowly faded as he thought of something. “Does she know about me?”
The smile on her face dropped completely off her face because she knew that he was going to be furious now. “I never thought that I would see Du again Chuck, so please try not to be mad at this.”
“What now?” He growled.
“I told Meg that her father was dead.” Blair told him honestly.
If she had thought he looked angry before that was nothing to what his face looked like now. Rage burst from every pore of his body and he looked like he was ready to kill somebody. “You fucking did what?”
She closed her eyes and let a tear slowly drip down her face. She looked almost angelic even while crying and Chuck took note of that but it did nothing to appease his anger. “I’m sorry Chuck. I wish I could take it all back.”
He shoved his hands in the pockets of his pants and moved away from her before he gave into the temptation to throttle her. “I never thought that I would say this oder that Du could make me feel this way Blair but I hate you.” His eyes pierced daggers at her.
At his words, she gasped and crumpled onto the floor. Deep, heaving, and unbearable sobs filled the room as she cried while he looked on at her. Those words that he had just sagte to her hurt Mehr than anything to her and if somebody took a messer right now and stabbed her it wouldn’t hurt so much. She buried her head in her arms and continued to cry because she couldn’t stand to see the look of hate on his face.
Blair felt him crouch down besides her but she didn’t pick her head up. “Blair.”
He sagte her name so quietly and gently that she thought that maybe he had been hasty and would take back his words. She raised her head and looked at him hopefully.
He sat back on his heels and looked at her tear ravaged face. “If there is anything I have realized Von Du telling me the truth is that Du are not fit to raise my daughter.” Chuck noticed the shock on her face but continued. “You’re a lying hündin and what you’ve done to me is unforgivable and I will be going to see my lawyer effective immediately and asking for full custody. Du will not be raising Meg anymore.” He knew that he was so angry and that was the reason for doing this because in his herz he knew that Blair was a good mother but she had screwed him over one too many times. He stood up and went to the door.
She leapt up and ran after him. “Chuck, no! Du can’t do this to me! Meg is my life.” She tried to gulp in air but she found that the fear was gripping her chest and she couldn’t breathe.
“That’s too fucking bad, Blair. It’s time Du felt some of the same pain that I have for the last four fucking years. Think about that.” He slammed the door in her face and Blair crumpled to the floor as she fainted from the stress of the entire day.
As he sat down in his lawyer’s office he knew that the words that he had sagte to Blair had been a lie. He didn’t hate her and god knows he should have, but he found that he still couldn’t detest her. Every fiber of his being wanted to though. Why couldn’t he hate her after everything? Anyone would hate somebody if they did that to them. He had almost taken her in his arms when he had seen how upset she was when he told her that he hated her but thankfully he regained his senses just in time. That would be all he needed. Mr. Pearson came into the office and he wasted no time in telling him all about what had just transpired.
Mr. Pearson listened to everything that Chuck had to say and wrote numerous notes down on a legal pad. “Mr. Bass, Du certainly could get full custody of your daughter but it’s going to be tricky. The courts are going to be torn in a case like this and that could very well result in your daughter being placed in foster care. The reason Du could get her is just for the simple fact that Du didn’t know that Du had a daughter before today and the mother of the child has kept Du from her for four years. But then again, I can’t be certain that a court will rule in your honor because I really don’t think they are going to want to take away Meg from her mother who she has known for her entire life and the child doesn’t even know you, Mr. Bass. It could go either way and I would advise Du to think very carefully about this before Du forge ahead with this plan. I understand that Du are probably very angry with Miss Waldorf but don’t take this out on your child. She doesn’t deserve it.”
Chuck let out a frustrated breath and sat there without talking for several moments. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t think that Blair deserved for their daughter to be taken away from her but all he knew was that Meg didn’t deserve to think that her father was dead and for her never to know him. At last he raised himself from his sitz and muttered, “Fuck it. Forget I was here.”
He left the lawyer stunned and he rushed out of the office to go and find Blair. They were going to have to figure some things out very quickly oder neither one of them was ever going to survive this.
Blair was still slumped on the floor when Serena and Nate found her. She was staring blankly ahead at the pristine white walls of her apartment as they tried to get her attention. Finally, Nate picked her up and brought her over to the couch while Serena got a blanket to wickeln, wickeln sie around her shoulders. “Blair?”
She still didn’t answer them. Her body was in complete emotional turmoil and shock.
“Blair!” Serena screamed and that finally alerted her to the fact that someone was there with her. She looked up and found Serena and Nate staring down at her. She didn’t remember them coming in and found that strange.
“What’s going on, Blair? Are Du okay?” Serena asked.
She wet her lips and tried to talk but nothing came out. She tried again and in a very shaky and raspy breath said, “Chuck knows the reason I left.”
“Why?” Nate questioned.
The tears flowed down her face as she garbled out, “He knows that I had his baby and now he’s going to take her away from me.”
A shocked silence filled the room at her announcement and Nate’s mouth hang open slightly.
“You had his baby, Blair?” Serena asked in a quiet voice. She couldn’t quite grasp the concept of Chuck and Blair being parents.
She shook her head slowly and her eyes were still very much unfocused. “Yes, I did. The Tag that Bart died I discovered that I was pregnant and I just freaked out. I didn’t know what else to do, so I left. I know it was stupid but I couldn’t help myself. After I found out, I went to Bart’s funeral to tell Chuck. A small part of me thought that he might have been happy and that he would get some closure over Bart’s death if he knew that he was going to be a father. That’s when he went crazy and I followed him outside when he left and I told him that I loved him, and I was getting ready to tell him the news when he took off in his limo. He didn’t Liebe me and that hurt Mehr than anything else, that’s when I knew that he would never be ready to be a father to our baby and I knew that I had to leave. And that’s what I did.”
Nate finally closed his mouth. “Why didn’t Du at least ever tell us, Blair? We could have helped you?”
“Nobody could have helped me. I just decided that it was safer to take off and never see any of Du ever again. I regret that now though.”
“Why did Du have a boy oder girl, Blair?” Serena asked.
A small grin tilted the corner of her mouth, like always when she was asked a Frage about Meg. “I had a girl. Her name is Meg and she looks exactly like Chuck. She’s here.”
Serena looked around wildly, like she would just evaporate out of thin air. “What do Du mean she’s here? Who’s been watching her when you’re not around?”
“Dorota.” Blair explained. “Meg came back with Ben from France and ever since then I’ve been with her most of the time but if I’m not, Dorota is always here to help.”
“What are Du going to do now?” Both Serena and Nate asked in unison.
Her face crumpled again but she finally looked like she was coming out of the stupor that she had been in. “I have no idea. I told Chuck and he was furious, and he told me that he was going to get full custody of Meg, but I can’t let him do that. She’s everything to me.” The words just kept flowing out of her mouth as she rung her hands together. “He told me that he hated me and all I can think about is how much I still Liebe him. All I want is for this to have never happened. I wish I never told him the truth. Ben was right when he sagte that I would only get hurt if I told him the truth.”
Nate wrapped an arm around her shaking shoulders. “It had to come out eventually, Blair.”
“Chuck wouldn’t try to take your own daughter away from you, B.” Serena chimed in.
Blair looked at her in amazement. “This is Chuck bass we’re talking about and of course he would do it!” She buried her head in Nate’s arms and began to sob again. Nate wrapped his arms around her shaking body and tried to comfort her as best he could.
That was the moment that they all heard a door slam close and Chuck walked furiously into the room. “Fucking perfect! Du always go running back to Nate, don’t you?”
Blair raised her head and pushed Nate away from her. She took a shaky breath. “It wasn’t like that, Chuck. I was just telling Serena and Nate about what happened.”
He continued to glare at her but sagte nothing. Serena stood up and wrapped her arms around him. “Are Du okay, Chuck?” She asked gently.
He returned her hug. “Yeah, it’s the best fucking Tag of my life. I like to talk to Blair alone if Du don’t mind.”
Serena nodded and took Nate’s hand and they walked to the door. “We’ll be in here, if either one of Du need anything.”
As soon as the door closed, he rounded on her. “Why the fuck do Du always go running back to Nathaniel?”
She closed her eyes tiredly. “I didn’t, Chuck. They came into the room and found me slumped on the floor and they got worried. Nate was trying to comfort me.”
“Sure.” He snorted with derision.
“It’s the truth.” She sagte wearily. “Are Du really going to take her away from me, Chuck?” Her low lip shook as she asked him.
He sighed. “No, I was going to but then I realized that wouldn’t solve anything and it would be unfair to her. I want to see her, Blair.”
The Weiter thing he knew, Blair had charged at him and wrapped her arms around his waist. “Thank you.” She whispered. “You don’t know how much that means to me.”
His arms hung awkwardly at his sides because he was determined not to hug her back. Eventually she moved away from him and she looked embarrassed at her outburst. “Thank you.” She sagte again.
“You don’t deserve my consideration, Blair.” He snarled. “And we are going to have to figure some things out but taking Meg away from Du is not the right choice. I want to see her and we are going to tell her the truth about me.”
She gulped but nodded quickly. “Okay. She deserves to know the truth.”
Chuck had expected an argument and was surprised when she didn’t resist.
“Should we go up now?” She asked.
“No. I need to get a few things straight with Du first. I don’t want your fucking fiancée raising my daughter. I never want her to call him daddy. Do Du understand me?”
“No.” He interrupted her. “I’m not done yet. I know that Du Liebe him and fuck him but one thing he could never do is be a father to her. That’s my job now and I’ve been cheated out of it for the last few fucking years.”
“You don’t understand Chuck, Ben is not really the parental type. He never has wanted anything much to do with Meg.”
He snarled with anger at hearing this.
Blair continued, “And Ben and I don’t fuck each other, as Du put it.”
“Yeah, right.” He sagte with obvious disbelief.
“We don’t.” She insisted.
“You expect me to believe that when you’re engaged?”
“Ben is…” She hesitated before saying, “gay. Ben is gay. We only have an arrangement.”
He looked at her in shock and was just about to say something when Ben walked into the room and said, “That’s true. I am gay.”
To Be Continued…
A/N: So what did Du think? Another secret revealed. There are Mehr coming just to let Du know. And the Weiter chapter will focus on Chuck meeting his daughter. Finally.