"You will always be able to tell when Du are different; when Du are the one that everyone is staring at; when Du are the one that everyone runs in fear from oder stares at in disgust as Du pass them by; when Du are the runt out of the litter; when Du are the broken and cracked tile in a tile floor; when Du are the dead baum in the center of the lively forest; when Du are the odd one out from the ordinary.
It's a feeling that will creep upon Du without a warning. A feeling of difference. A painful feeling. A sharp blow to wake your psyche from its peaceful slumber; a blow that can crush oder cripple a person and their emotions. Du feel distant; Du feel as if Du are a schaf, schafe Lost from its herd; Du feel like a ship Lost at sea. Du feel like Du are drifting further and further away from the world; Du feel like Du are drowning, and Du feel as though everyone would turn away rather than throw a life ring to you, oder even dive in to save you. Du feel like Du are the darkness hidden in the corner in a room filled with glistening lights.
For myself, I have very different thoughts. I feel like a cold-blooded animal amongst warm-bloods. I may look the same as the Weiter man, but on the inside, I feel like I am burning. Du see the world through a glass window, just as bright and as clean as it could possibly be; pure and full of hope. All I see when I look through that window is stained, cracked glass, tainted Von my place in this world and my warring emotional insides. Du are looking in on the world through that pure window, watching in delight and happiness as people come to Du with a smile; I watch through my window as people turn their backs and walk away. I feel like I cannot see myself; I feel as though I do not see myself. Oh no, I only see a worn man with tears staining his face in the large crack that runs down the middle of the window; I do not see the world, I only see my broken spirit.
I do not feel like I am of your world. I do not feel like I have a place in your world. I only feel like I have the ugly feelings that tether me to reality; who I really am in the flesh. If I were to step into your mirror, oder if I were to step into your crystal-clear lake so full of life, I would merely pollute the limpid water and it would become tainted... Just like my body. Just like my species. Just like my mind. Just like my uncontrollable 'bloodlust', as Du call it.
Sometimes I need the danger. I need the danger just to know that my herz can beat. I feel numb sometimes; numb as in I do not feel as though my body is truly working anymore. Feeling my herz beat pulsing is one of the only things that reminds me that I am not numb and that I am still a living person and not the... monster that Du believe me to be; the monster that Du claim for me to be. Seeing my blood flow is another way that I know I am living, though my blood is just as cold and as clear as ice instead of the dark, warm crimson red that resides in a normal person. If Du examine me oder were to take me apart, will Du find the differences? oder will Du ignore the differences and call me person who fits in with the rest of the crowd?
I can see right through Du as if Du were an ice sculpture, so pure and clear. However, can Du see through me? Am I a clear ice to you, am I a blank canvas yet to be touched, oder am I a cracked window soiled with years of dirt and grime that prevents Du from seeing into me? Take your pick, choose wisely your response. It will either amuse me oder damage me, mind you.
I think of myself in these ways from Tag to day, especially when I am amongst the 'normal'. However, I smile, and I laugh, and I play. I know who I am and I know what I am, even if I do not feel like I do at times. I am but a speck of shadow in a room of light, waiting for my turn to have my time to shine. I am a broken, dirtied mirror placed in a tarnished Gold frame that needs to be cleaned; I do not want to be replaced oder repaired, only cleaned. I simply want to be cleaned and placed upon the Wand with the other, pure mirrors, even if it costs me standing out. I just want to be able to be in the crowd without being rejected. Why will Du not place me with the others? Why do Du hide me away in a storage closet? Am I simply 'not good enough' for you? If that is what Du think, then let me ask Du this... Why do Du think I exist, and why do Du think Du exist? We are equals, no matter what Du say. We are living people who need Liebe and attention to feel like we fit in. If Du gain your acceptance, then where is mine? It matters not how long I wait, I will be accepted some day, some where, some time... and one Tag I will shine. One Tag I will be the most respected piece in the gallery; one Tag I will be amongst the famous and priceless. I am not a mistake; I am a pure diamond hidden in the ashes and soot. People may look over me, thinking that I am only coal on the outside, but on the inside, I am a diamond hidden in the rough.
Tell me, what is wrong with the odd one? Do Du not consider the odd one a person? Even if they are Mehr kind and considering that Du are? If Du are one who is stuck up, Du may sit upon your rich throne, thinking Du are high and mighty, but what will Du do when the 'odd' comes in and is Mehr caring than Du are? Will Du immediately cease calling them a person just because Du think they are strange without looking at what good they have done? If so, then Du are Mehr of a monster than I could ever be.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For all of Du out there who feel like Du are Lost in the shadows, what are Du doing? Are Du simply staying in the shadows and letting yourself feel like Du are different and not of this world such as I have? oder do Du look for the light while Du are Lost in the darkness like I have as well? If Du can not find the light to make Du feel better, Du make the light. Let your family and those dear to Du be your fuel, and let Du accepting your differences and who Du are be the spark that lights the flame.
I sagte I felt as though I was the cold-blood amongst the warm-bloods. I sagte I feel as though I am staring through a broken and tainted glass. I sagte I do not feel as though I am from your world; I sagte I felt that I didn't fit in with the people in your own little world. I sagte that if I were to step into your crystal lake, I would pollute the limpid water; but let me ask Du this, is your lake crystal in reality, oder is it idealized in your own mind and fake reality; would I be polluting it oder bringing Du back to reality? I also sagte that sometimes I felt numb and I needed the danger to feel my herz beat. What do Du think I meant honestly Von that? Did I mean that I felt disconnected from the world and needed to feel like a person, oder did I mean that I want to feel the danger to make me feel alive like a person? Hm.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
All the outcasts. All the odd people. All the frowned and look down upon. I can see you, and I can hear you. Du are not invisible to me, just like how Du are not invisible to the world; Du may only think that not a living soul pays attention to Du as Du cry yourself to sleep. Du may feel stuck on the outside; thinking that Du are damaged and broken beyond repair. Du know what? Du are not so far that someone cannot reach you. Du are not so far that someone cannot wickeln, wickeln sie Du in their embrace and tell Du everything is okay. Can Du believe me? Can Du trust me when I tell Du that everything Du see about yourself is not what I see? Du have my attention; there's no need to hurt and pain yourself for attention. Let the prejudice oder judging people be the beautiful lights in the city; we shall rise above them as bright, beautiful neon signs in a night sky, and those who accept us and Liebe us for who we are shall rise above with us. Du are special, no matter what Du think Du are. If someone tells Du that Du are a cursed oder evil species, prove them wrong Von proving that Du are a beautiful diamond while they are simply a tarnished piece of gold. If someone tells Du that Du are a nerd oder a geek, Zeigen them that Du might just be the scientist who makes the cure that cures the plague. Let all of the outcasts fly with me and come to a place where we can be diverse and appreciate each other without putting each other down; even if this world exists only in our minds, we will find a way to be who we are without fears of being struck down.
Your smallest whisper... I can hear it. Let your voice be heard. Be who Du are, not what the world expects Du to be. Du do not think Du are good enough to the world to anyone in the world? Nonsense, Du are a bright diamond in my eyes. Du are a treasure, a perfect one at that. Du may have had a rough ride, but do not let that change who Du are, and who Du are is a unique individual. Du are Mehr than just a face, Mehr than just a name, and Mehr than just the hurtful labels that the hypocrites around Du might give. Du are more, Du are a beauty. Du are a treasure, and Du are NOT alone.
Take it from me, a man who has faired many reactions and various treatments due to who I am. Du are a unique person and Du do not deserve to have the dirt and grime of the world thrown upon your delicate frame that holds you. Is your frame old, tarnished, polished, new, oder anything else? It does not matter; Du are as equal as the others around you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Hatred and Evil was as blacken as coal. The Uncertainty was sandy and unclear. The Happiness golden. The Isolation was a lonely blue. The Sole Lie was as clear and as see-through as a white ice. The Socialness was a perky orange. The Laughter was a radiating green. The Serious brought a gloomy shade of grey. Above all, the Mixture of Good and Bad traits was a clear prism that cast all the Farben of a beautiful regenbogen and a shadowy gloom; the one holding the prism decided which Farben they wanted to cast. Which one are you?
In the end, are we not all a stained glass portrait? We are either made in bright, happy Farben with a beautiful picture, oder we are a gloomy, dark picture with dark and depressing colors. Or, no, wait. Perhaps we are all works in progress, just waiting to bloom and reveal who were truly are inside."
~Alric Maximilian Faust
It's a feeling that will creep upon Du without a warning. A feeling of difference. A painful feeling. A sharp blow to wake your psyche from its peaceful slumber; a blow that can crush oder cripple a person and their emotions. Du feel distant; Du feel as if Du are a schaf, schafe Lost from its herd; Du feel like a ship Lost at sea. Du feel like Du are drifting further and further away from the world; Du feel like Du are drowning, and Du feel as though everyone would turn away rather than throw a life ring to you, oder even dive in to save you. Du feel like Du are the darkness hidden in the corner in a room filled with glistening lights.
For myself, I have very different thoughts. I feel like a cold-blooded animal amongst warm-bloods. I may look the same as the Weiter man, but on the inside, I feel like I am burning. Du see the world through a glass window, just as bright and as clean as it could possibly be; pure and full of hope. All I see when I look through that window is stained, cracked glass, tainted Von my place in this world and my warring emotional insides. Du are looking in on the world through that pure window, watching in delight and happiness as people come to Du with a smile; I watch through my window as people turn their backs and walk away. I feel like I cannot see myself; I feel as though I do not see myself. Oh no, I only see a worn man with tears staining his face in the large crack that runs down the middle of the window; I do not see the world, I only see my broken spirit.
I do not feel like I am of your world. I do not feel like I have a place in your world. I only feel like I have the ugly feelings that tether me to reality; who I really am in the flesh. If I were to step into your mirror, oder if I were to step into your crystal-clear lake so full of life, I would merely pollute the limpid water and it would become tainted... Just like my body. Just like my species. Just like my mind. Just like my uncontrollable 'bloodlust', as Du call it.
Sometimes I need the danger. I need the danger just to know that my herz can beat. I feel numb sometimes; numb as in I do not feel as though my body is truly working anymore. Feeling my herz beat pulsing is one of the only things that reminds me that I am not numb and that I am still a living person and not the... monster that Du believe me to be; the monster that Du claim for me to be. Seeing my blood flow is another way that I know I am living, though my blood is just as cold and as clear as ice instead of the dark, warm crimson red that resides in a normal person. If Du examine me oder were to take me apart, will Du find the differences? oder will Du ignore the differences and call me person who fits in with the rest of the crowd?
I can see right through Du as if Du were an ice sculpture, so pure and clear. However, can Du see through me? Am I a clear ice to you, am I a blank canvas yet to be touched, oder am I a cracked window soiled with years of dirt and grime that prevents Du from seeing into me? Take your pick, choose wisely your response. It will either amuse me oder damage me, mind you.
I think of myself in these ways from Tag to day, especially when I am amongst the 'normal'. However, I smile, and I laugh, and I play. I know who I am and I know what I am, even if I do not feel like I do at times. I am but a speck of shadow in a room of light, waiting for my turn to have my time to shine. I am a broken, dirtied mirror placed in a tarnished Gold frame that needs to be cleaned; I do not want to be replaced oder repaired, only cleaned. I simply want to be cleaned and placed upon the Wand with the other, pure mirrors, even if it costs me standing out. I just want to be able to be in the crowd without being rejected. Why will Du not place me with the others? Why do Du hide me away in a storage closet? Am I simply 'not good enough' for you? If that is what Du think, then let me ask Du this... Why do Du think I exist, and why do Du think Du exist? We are equals, no matter what Du say. We are living people who need Liebe and attention to feel like we fit in. If Du gain your acceptance, then where is mine? It matters not how long I wait, I will be accepted some day, some where, some time... and one Tag I will shine. One Tag I will be the most respected piece in the gallery; one Tag I will be amongst the famous and priceless. I am not a mistake; I am a pure diamond hidden in the ashes and soot. People may look over me, thinking that I am only coal on the outside, but on the inside, I am a diamond hidden in the rough.
Tell me, what is wrong with the odd one? Do Du not consider the odd one a person? Even if they are Mehr kind and considering that Du are? If Du are one who is stuck up, Du may sit upon your rich throne, thinking Du are high and mighty, but what will Du do when the 'odd' comes in and is Mehr caring than Du are? Will Du immediately cease calling them a person just because Du think they are strange without looking at what good they have done? If so, then Du are Mehr of a monster than I could ever be.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For all of Du out there who feel like Du are Lost in the shadows, what are Du doing? Are Du simply staying in the shadows and letting yourself feel like Du are different and not of this world such as I have? oder do Du look for the light while Du are Lost in the darkness like I have as well? If Du can not find the light to make Du feel better, Du make the light. Let your family and those dear to Du be your fuel, and let Du accepting your differences and who Du are be the spark that lights the flame.
I sagte I felt as though I was the cold-blood amongst the warm-bloods. I sagte I feel as though I am staring through a broken and tainted glass. I sagte I do not feel as though I am from your world; I sagte I felt that I didn't fit in with the people in your own little world. I sagte that if I were to step into your crystal lake, I would pollute the limpid water; but let me ask Du this, is your lake crystal in reality, oder is it idealized in your own mind and fake reality; would I be polluting it oder bringing Du back to reality? I also sagte that sometimes I felt numb and I needed the danger to feel my herz beat. What do Du think I meant honestly Von that? Did I mean that I felt disconnected from the world and needed to feel like a person, oder did I mean that I want to feel the danger to make me feel alive like a person? Hm.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
All the outcasts. All the odd people. All the frowned and look down upon. I can see you, and I can hear you. Du are not invisible to me, just like how Du are not invisible to the world; Du may only think that not a living soul pays attention to Du as Du cry yourself to sleep. Du may feel stuck on the outside; thinking that Du are damaged and broken beyond repair. Du know what? Du are not so far that someone cannot reach you. Du are not so far that someone cannot wickeln, wickeln sie Du in their embrace and tell Du everything is okay. Can Du believe me? Can Du trust me when I tell Du that everything Du see about yourself is not what I see? Du have my attention; there's no need to hurt and pain yourself for attention. Let the prejudice oder judging people be the beautiful lights in the city; we shall rise above them as bright, beautiful neon signs in a night sky, and those who accept us and Liebe us for who we are shall rise above with us. Du are special, no matter what Du think Du are. If someone tells Du that Du are a cursed oder evil species, prove them wrong Von proving that Du are a beautiful diamond while they are simply a tarnished piece of gold. If someone tells Du that Du are a nerd oder a geek, Zeigen them that Du might just be the scientist who makes the cure that cures the plague. Let all of the outcasts fly with me and come to a place where we can be diverse and appreciate each other without putting each other down; even if this world exists only in our minds, we will find a way to be who we are without fears of being struck down.
Your smallest whisper... I can hear it. Let your voice be heard. Be who Du are, not what the world expects Du to be. Du do not think Du are good enough to the world to anyone in the world? Nonsense, Du are a bright diamond in my eyes. Du are a treasure, a perfect one at that. Du may have had a rough ride, but do not let that change who Du are, and who Du are is a unique individual. Du are Mehr than just a face, Mehr than just a name, and Mehr than just the hurtful labels that the hypocrites around Du might give. Du are more, Du are a beauty. Du are a treasure, and Du are NOT alone.
Take it from me, a man who has faired many reactions and various treatments due to who I am. Du are a unique person and Du do not deserve to have the dirt and grime of the world thrown upon your delicate frame that holds you. Is your frame old, tarnished, polished, new, oder anything else? It does not matter; Du are as equal as the others around you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Hatred and Evil was as blacken as coal. The Uncertainty was sandy and unclear. The Happiness golden. The Isolation was a lonely blue. The Sole Lie was as clear and as see-through as a white ice. The Socialness was a perky orange. The Laughter was a radiating green. The Serious brought a gloomy shade of grey. Above all, the Mixture of Good and Bad traits was a clear prism that cast all the Farben of a beautiful regenbogen and a shadowy gloom; the one holding the prism decided which Farben they wanted to cast. Which one are you?
In the end, are we not all a stained glass portrait? We are either made in bright, happy Farben with a beautiful picture, oder we are a gloomy, dark picture with dark and depressing colors. Or, no, wait. Perhaps we are all works in progress, just waiting to bloom and reveal who were truly are inside."
~Alric Maximilian Faust