1. If they want to loan Du money, tell them Du just filed for bankruptcy and Du could sure use some money.
2. If they start out with, "How are Du today?" say, "Why do Du want to know?" Alternately, Du can tell them, "I'm so glad Du asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my sciatica is Schauspielen up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..." When they try to get to the sell, just keep talking about your "problems."
3. If they say they're Joe Doe from the XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them...
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