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(This is a new series where I negatively review classic stories. And yes, I do like this story and I will like all the others I will do in the future, but I just thought this was a fun idea so... There Du go.)

So I'm pretty sure Von now we all know this story. It's a timeless tale of adventure, and has a very important moral at the end. This story focuses on 3 pigs building houses to protect themselves from a wolf and taught kids that time and effort equals success. :)

BUT SINCE I'M A NITPICKING DOUCHE-BAG WHO DOESN'T APPRECIATE SHIT, I'm going to criticize this story as much as I can, pointing...
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posted by yamishadow2001
(Note: I will swear i might rage a bit but B-E-A-R with me get it? No okay...)

Story: Du are playing as a security guard to work the night shift from 12 AM-6 AM your goal try to survive the night with a certain amount of power without getting killed for 5 nights... oder 7 we will get to that in a Minute and who is trying kill apparently "Kid Friendly" animtronics that we will also get to in a Minute as well so that is the story pretty much.

Characters: The characters are Du of course. Troll: We all know that dumbass hur hur hur! Oh shut up!*clears throat* as I was saying there is the phone guy...
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posted by lexidude92
Everyone is sitting on a couch (being bored)

Libra: What's on on tv?
Virgo: Nothing right now, just keep on daydreaming...
Cancer: THERE'S NOTHING TO DREAM ABOUT!!
Leo: I agree with Cancer, I'm bored, let's watch some tv oder go outside to get some fresh air.
Sagittarius: I'm not sure if that's a good idea, Leo.
Aries: usually, there is no fresh air outside.
Leo: No, actually, Du can't see how fresh the air is out there.
Sagittarius: What?
Leo: *sighs*, your deaf, arn't you?
Sagittarius: No.
Aquarius: I'd listen to some songs...
Leo: nah, I'm fine.
Virgo: at 4:30 we can watch tv.
Leo: why?
Virgo: because....
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posted by BlondLionEzel
Out in the darkness, someone is rending the silence
Awakening this planet from its sleep
Who is it?

Look, evil spirits are right before you
There's nowhere to run, so take 'em straight on!
Someone tells me to erase my "worries" and "fear"
We reconstruct our minds
Clench your fists strongly
Believe in the bonds between us
And fight!

So all I can do
And all Du can do
Is spread your wings and transform
Take the anger piercing your herz and turn it into strength
Now all I can do
And all Du can do
Is shine and transform
To the stage of evolution
Touch and go!

Listen closely! It's a new "beginning"
Why do Du think...
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Dating Version 2.0: Modern Dating

Some of the old ways of dating could be use an upgrade. Welcome 2014 with these new and improved rules!

For most of us, the best--and usually our first--source of our dating Guter Rat is our family. We rely on the experiences and wise words of Mom, Sister, and in some cases even Grandmother, for the do's and don'ts of boys and relationships. But as years pass by, it might be time to rule out some of Mom's and Grandma's old (and old-fashioned) rules on dating and come up with reasonable guidelines that appeal to Mehr modern minds.

The Old Way:
~Date only boys who...
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posted by uploaded900
For a while, I've been thinking of making an Artikel on my influential celebs and here they are. This Liste is just on entertainers. I'm not the biggest celebrity person, but these have inspired me in some sort of way and I Liebe them! Instead of putting trashy people and basic bitches (whose names I won't name) on a pedestal, here are some people I'd like to talk about who should get some credit for the great individuals that they are. I'd also like to add that it's just my opinion and I'd Liebe to hear what you've got to say.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

 The Realist
The Realist


Emma Watson
Emma Watson is one...
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Survey reveals oben, nach oben 50 funniest jokes ever told

[HK]

A joke about a male bus passenger insulting a woman's ugly baby has been voted the funniest gag ever told. Researchers examined Mehr than 1,000 jokes before whittling them down to a final 50 and getting 36,000 people to vote for their favourites. Source: Onepoll.com

Comedy genius Tommy Cooper had Von far the most jokes in the list, which also includes gags Von Peter Kay and Lee Evans.

Jokes ranged from the legendary one-liner about a zoo with just one dog being a 'shitzu' - to ones about wives, husbands, blondes and foreigners.

The study was...
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posted by Bluekait
An expert farmer is outstanding in her field.

An incompetent ship captain grounds the warship he walks on.

Camels live in Camelfornia.

Cannibals like to meat people.

Hands are like bells, especially when they're wrung.

How about the bär that was hit Von an 18-wheeler and splattered all over the place? They sagte it was a grizzly accident.

How about the man who ran through a screen door? He strained himself.

If life is like a bowl of cherries, what's the rosine for living?

In some places fog will never be mist.

Once upon a time, a tribe of cannibals caught a saint sent to them as a missionary...
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posted by nmdis
"Solo"


You speak to me
And in your words I hear a melody
But in the twilight it's so hard to see
What's wrong for me

I can't resist
Until Du give the truth a little twist
As if you're gonna get away with this
You're not sorry

I can't believe I fell for this

I fell through the hole
Down at the bottom of your soul
Didn't think Du could go
So low
Look at what you've done
You're losing me
Here's what you've won
Got me planning to go
Solo
Solo

Du sing to me
Too bad Du couldn't even stay on key
If your life is such a mystery
Why don't Du stick to acting?

Here Du go again...
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posted by nmdis
"Piercing"


Living in fear
Is not what Du had
In mind for me
But holding to you
Is so hard
I cling to what I see

In a world where my emotions
Seem to rule my every move
They will challenge my devotion
To seek and know the truth

You're piercing me
This self will bleed
You're killing all
Of my securities
Lord, help me see the reality
That all I'll ever need is You

Here in this haze a distant light
Seems to draw me near
But in the shadow of my doubt
My faith just disappears

In a world where my emotions
Seem to rule my every move
They will challenge my devotion
To seek and know the truth

You're...
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posted by nmdis
IceCold
She fell in Liebe with a dope boy
Black diamonds on the neck of that dope boy
Big body Benz for that dope boy
Love every tattoo on that dope boy
She sheds tears for that dope boy
Shit, it is what it is for that dope boy
Handle minor biz for that dope boy
But the reward is major, so on and so forth
She can tell Du Von the Greyhound
She can Zeigen Du how to stay down
I can tell Du 'bout to break down
VS1's all in my hündin watch face now
Straight G's for your low esteem
A.P's for the whole team
As I run away from my obituary
Walking in the shit that'll get Du buried
Miami's mine like I'm Pat Riley
Baselines...
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posted by nmdis
BEAT


It's a big bad world but I ain't ashamed,
I like the lights in my hand
And the beat in my face.
It's a big bad world but I ain't ashamed,
I like the lights in my hand
And the beat in my face.

Be-be-beat in my face, be-be-beat in my face,
The lights in my hand, and the beat in my face

Be-be-beat in my face, be-be-beat in my face,
The lights in my hand, and the beat in my face

I'mma make Du bend your back
Oh my god, this beat is crack
When I do this, Du do that

I feel like dancing when I hear that sound,
Just wanna do it, eh, just wanna do it, eh.
I feel like dancing when I hear that sound,
Just wanna...
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Ooh ooh ooh
Ooh ooh ooh

Can Du feel me
When I think about you?
With every breath I take
Every minute
No matter what I do

My world is an empty place
Like I've been wandering the desert
For a thousand days (oh)
Don't know if it's a mirage
But I always see your face, baby

[Chorus:]
I'm missing Du so much
Can't help it, I'm in love
A Tag without Du is like a Jahr without rain
I need Du Von my side
Don't know how I'll survive
A Tag without Du is like a Jahr without rain (oh, whoa)
Whoa, oh, whoa

The stars are burning
I hear your voice in my mind (voice in my mind)
Can't Du hear me calling?
My herz is yearning
Like...
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posted by nmdis
Come and Get it
[chorus]
When you're ready come and get it (x2)
Na na na (x3)

When you're re-e-a-dy (x2)

When you're ready come and get it
Na na na (x3)

You ain’t gotta worry it’s an open invitation
I’ll be sittin’ right here real patient
All Tag all night I’ll be waitin’ standby
Can’t stop because I Liebe it, hate the way I Liebe you
All Tag all night maybe I’m addicted for life, no lie.
I’m not too shy to Zeigen I Liebe you, I got no regrets.
I Liebe Du much to, much to hide you, this Liebe ain’t finished yet. This Liebe ain’t finished yet…
So baby whenever you’re ready…

[chorus]
When...
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Chapter One: Salvador

Silver Monroe skipped up the stone steps to Westover High School. Silver could have easily gotten almost any boy she wanted; only she had yet to find the one meant for her. She walked swiftly down the long hallways to her first class; math.

After about ten Minuten the boy sitting behind her raised his hand, asking for water. Silver had been in mostly the same classes as him almost the entire Jahr and she had never heard him talk before. She had never really even noticed him before. He had long, blonde hair that was almost white and black eyes. The teacher, Mrs. Taylor dismissed...
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June 17th 100,000,000 BC 12 O'clock at night
Four children are born, quadruplets, the youngest born at the strike of midnight. The first child is named Queverial, the Sekunde Ceelarion, the third Ierailiasha, and the last one is named Mist. The father decides the last child should have a complex name as the others do but the mother has made up her mind that Mist is the perfect name.
Then she sends them through the mirror of fate to find there destiny and they may never return if they do not find it in time.

January 21st 90,000,000 BC 3:30 P.M.
The children grow up living in the chosen lands...
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Just a few things before the story; one, if there's something Du don't like about it, please tell me! I want it to be as good as it can be. ^-^ Just please tell me in a respectful way, please. I would appreciate that. Thank you.
Also, this story will be a little (well, Mehr than a little) bloody and violent, and there may be some cussing later on. Just a warning.
That being said, I hope Du like it!
_____________________________________________

Gnarled branches. Green leaves grew from them—green leaves spotted with yellows and reds. They rustled dryly, talking of the upcoming season of autumn....
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(Jade’s POV)

“John…I’m bored” I whined to my friend in the other room. “Well i’m sorry Jade, but i don’t know what do do about that” John sagte walking in with a bowl of popcorn he popped himself. “What about Rose and Dave?” I asked sneaking some popcorn away from the bowl. “What about them?” Dave asked sitting the bowl on the coffee tabelle in the middle of the room. “Can we invite them over? And can Du change out of the girl’s uniform?” I asked. He cheeks grew pink, “It’s comfortable.” “Oh John, Du little boy” I sagte ruffling his hair up. “Fine Jade,...
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posted by Bluekait
There are some things about Justin Bieber, this "role model" for kids, that Du may not know. Sorry to any of the Beliebers out there.

He's attacked and screamed obscenities at photographers. [1] He says rape happens for a reason. [2] He wrote in the guest book at Anne Frank's house that he "wishes she was a Belieber." [3] When he was asked to try being vegan, he spit out the vegan steak that was specially prepared for him and made gagging sounds. [4] He peed in a restaurant kitchen. [5] He's frequently late to his own concerts. [6] He's been kicked out and banned from places for throwing temper...
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Now, there's no denying that Dani is pretty adorable. She's playful and immature, just like a little girl should be, as Du can see from the scene where she comes out of the closet and scares Max. She has the spirit of a cute little girl, as she loves trick-or-treating.

However, after the first few Minuten of screen time she has, her character started going downhill for me. She screams for her mother at the oben, nach oben of her lungs when Max refuses to take her trick-or-treating, which makes me think she's spoiled. She's Schauspielen all tough and Merida - Legende der Highlands against eichelhäher, jay and Ernie "Ice", but ends up doing this...
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