Why is it that when someone tells Du that there are over a billion stars in the universe, Du believe them, but if there is a 'wet paint' sign somewhere, Du have to touch it to make sure?
In case Du needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
1. On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
2. On a bag of Fritos -- Du could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?
3. On some Swanson Frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
4. On Tesco's tiramisu Dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
5. On Marks & Spencer brot pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and Du thought??...)
6. On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me Mehr time)?
7. On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car oder operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
8. On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because??...)
9. On most brands of Weihnachten lights -- "For indoor oder outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?
10. On a Japanese Essen processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)
11. On Sainsbury's Peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
12. On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, ooh...fly Delta?)
13. On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this kleidungsstück does not enable Du to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
14. On a Korean küche knife-- "Warning: keep out of children."
(hmm..something must have gotten Lost in the translation..)
15. On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands oder genitals."
(Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
In case Du needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
1. On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
2. On a bag of Fritos -- Du could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?
3. On some Swanson Frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
4. On Tesco's tiramisu Dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
5. On Marks & Spencer brot pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and Du thought??...)
6. On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me Mehr time)?
7. On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car oder operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
8. On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because??...)
9. On most brands of Weihnachten lights -- "For indoor oder outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?
10. On a Japanese Essen processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)
11. On Sainsbury's Peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
12. On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, ooh...fly Delta?)
13. On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this kleidungsstück does not enable Du to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
14. On a Korean küche knife-- "Warning: keep out of children."
(hmm..something must have gotten Lost in the translation..)
15. On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands oder genitals."
(Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)