Rated R. This fanfic has a few cursing and one sexual image. Read it at your own risk!!!
It was just a typical Tag at Acme Looniversity. Buster Bunny and Plucky ente walked out of the Reverse Psychology class, taught Von their respective mentors Bugs and Daffy, along with Elmer Fudd.
Plucky, for some reason, had his bill twisted to the oben, nach oben of his green head, since Bugs, Daffy and Elmer taught the class as sagte before. He and Buster were instructed Von their mentors to perform the goddamn classic "Wabbit season, ente season" arguement and then Buster would say "Wabbit season" and Plucky would accidentally say "Duck season" and BAM! Nevertheless, he and Buster both got A+'s.
Buster: Wow Plucky, your performance in class was stupendous!
If it weren't for you, we would've ended up with a lower grade like a B, a D, oder the worst one yet, an F!
Plucky: Yeah, says you, rabbit. [points to his misplaced bill, then twists it back on the front of his face where it belongs]
Buster and Plucky walked down the hallway when they saw their friend Hamton attending to his locker. Yep, Hamton. That hog enjoys two things: cleanliness and
Buster: Hey there, my old pal Hamton! Whatchya eating?
Hamton: [holding a half-eaten hotdog] Oh, just this here hotdog that I bought from the cafeteria. [swallows the hotdog] Mmmmm.... delicious.
Buster: Um, yeah. See ya later, alligator! [walks away with Plucky] Well Plucky, if there's one hell of a thing that kind of bothers me a bit, it's- OOF!
A sudden, unexpected bump caused Buster to fall backwards flat on his ass, and orbiting around his head were yellow floating stars. His friend Plucky just stood where he was, recoiling in surprise at the abrupt event. What was it that he bumped into?
Buster: [dizzily; laughs] Where's my Reptar Bar? I wants my Reptar Bar. [slaps himself] Oh, Hey there, Furrball!
It was the good old unfortunate pussycat Furrball, the one who Buster bumped into. Yes siree, that's him alright. The large notch in his ear and his bandage-wrapped tail... definetely him. Scattered at his feet were two textbooks. Furrball turned around to see his long-eared friend and his green-feathered buddy.
Furrball: Hi there, Buster and Plucky. Didn't see Du back there. Von the way, just heading to the bibliothek just so I can get away from Fowlmouth's damn cursing. Bye! [walks off]
Buster: Oh, and sorry I bumped you!
Furrball: [shouting back] Thank Du for your kind regards!
Plucky: Woah, Mr. Unfortunate sure is in a hurry.
Buster: What I was saying was, if there was one hell of a thing that kind of bothers me a bit, it's the reason why Furrball has that bandage on his tail.
Plucky: [walking with Buster] Pfft! I'm sure someone stepped on his tail, and that's that!
Later, at night...
Furrball walked back to his cardboard box shelter in the alleyways of Acme Acres, dragging his seemingly bandaged tail behind him. It was not like he was greatly concerned about his tail still being broken. Once he got inside, he plopped onto the small kissen that he stahl, stola from an ACME kissen Truck, evidenced Von the ACME© tag on it, and settled into sleep, grabbing his tail as he did so.
Plucky: [walking down the straße with Buster] For the last time, Furrball's tail has been stepped on! So Du can take your tongue and-!
Buster: [walking with Plucky] Plucky, I fucking swear! There's gotta be Mehr than a reason to why Furrball's tail is damaged!
Plucky: Aw, damn... CLANG!
Again, Buster, without looking where he was going, bumped into a nearby straße pole. This time, however, the stars didn't Zeigen up to fly around his head. Buster backed away from the pole, rubbing his nose which nearly gave him a nosebleed.
Plucky: Du should really take some specs, Buster.
Buster: Aw, son of a... [sees Furrball's cardboard box] There he is! What are Du waiting for, Plucky? [runs to the box]
Plucky: [under his breath] Shit. [joins Buster]
In his cardboard box, Furrball was still sleeping very calmly, dreaming about schaf, schafe jumping over a fence. Then...
A sudden shout jerked the ill-fated feline awake from his slumber, making him jump and hit the oben, nach oben of his box. After falling back down, he rubbed his head with visible unsteadiness as stars twinkled round his head, then killed the dizziness with a shake of his head and saw the two guys who woke him.
Furrball: Why hello, Buster and Plucky. What are Du two doing at this brink of the night?
It was just a minute, so Furrball had this sleepy, sad-looking expression on his face.
Buster, however, misviewed this as a feeling-blue face. Sure, he knew Furrball was so damn unlucky. Most of his unfortunate monents were when he had 3D glasses glued to his face, failing to catch Sneezer oder Sweetie, etc. Sure, those were quite scarring for Furrball, but the goddamn Piano flattening him into the dirt while he was sniffing a gänseblümchen, daisy was just too much for him.
Plucky: Mr. Wants-To-Know-Something wants to ask Du a damn Frage that's been bothering my arsch all night. Go ahead, Buster.
Buster: [sighs] Furrball, I know there is a time for every little thing we have to be explained, and I'm only gonna ask this once, so... why do Du have a bandage on your tail? Is it actually injured!?!?
Surprisingly, Furrball responded to Buster's Frage with an offended and surprised look. Sure, most people believe that his tail was stepped on and bandaged, adding to his unlucky character. But instead, Furrball shook his head "no".
Buster: What? What do Du mean no?
Furrball: [sighs] I know, Buster. While Du might think what it is, it is not. Du see here, before our Zeigen was even aired, my tail was perfectly fine even with a bandage, which I'll get to later.
Buster: Du mean, your tail... isn't injured?
Furrball: Yep, but then the fright of my life came. One evening....
Furrball is seen walking down the straße in a good mood, whistling link
. His tail doesn't have a bandage on it, since this flashback explains how he got his bandage.
Furrball: [o.c.; narrating] I was walking down the street, minding my own business. I thought that nothing evil would ever happen to me on this particular day, but I was wrong.
A crazy-looking, perverted man is then shown, sitting on a schemel, hocker on a sidewalk with a tabelle Weiter to him. He has brunette unruly, uncombed hair, a dirty white hemd, shirt with holes, hideous crooked teeth, khaki pants, and dirty, unpolished shoes. He wears glasses with a lens missing and is holding an ACME Tattoo Pen.
Furrball: [o.c.; narrating] There was this crazy, deranged guy. He looked like he came out from a mental hospital, and shit, was he such a bastard!
The man then sees Furrball walk past him and cruelly grabs him up Von the tail. He looks at the poor cat with a smug grin on his face, which greatly contradicts what he would do to him.
Insane Man: Well, hello there, little kitty. It looks like it's gonna be the good Tag for both of us.... NOW HOLD STILL!!!
Furrball: [o.c.; narrating] He got me for no apparent reason, and he did this abomination to me!!!
Shouting his sentence, the man then slammed Furrball down on his table, laughing maniacally as he stabbed his pen onto the feline's tail and began drawing. This was torture for Furrball, who was screaming and meowing with great yet indescribable pain as the man continued his evil laughter and work.
Furrball: [o.c.; narrating] He got that pen and drew a small tattoo on it, while at the same time dealing me GREAT
pain and making me want to scream for the cops!
Finally, the man stopped tattooing Furrball's tail and pushed him off the table, then as fast as his fours could carry him, Furrball ran off into the street, screaming.
He stopped at a nearby building, panting to relieve himself. Visibly angry, he then thought to himself that the crazy, tattoo-obsessed hündin should be arrested and put in prison forever, never to be released until his death. POW!
A case then fell on Furrball, delivering lots of stars circling his head. Shaking his head to regain balance, Furrball then looked at what fell on him at his feet. It was an ACME First Aid Kit. Picking the case up with one hand, Furrball scratched his head with the other, having no idea where that thing came from, but decided to open it anyway. It's only contents were a bandage roll and tape.
Furrball: [o.c.; narrating] Luckily, I found this first aid kit, which gave me something to hide my tattoo.
Furrball then picks up the bandage from the case and then wraps it around the tattooed part of his tail, concealing the tattoo.
Back to present time in Acme Acres.
Furrball: When I wandered into the Warner's studio, the crew found me, and examined me. They thought that the bandage on my tail would add to my unlucky character, so they cast me in.
Buster: So that explains everything. Boy was that lunatic guy insane as hell.
Furrball: But now that we're alone, I should unwrap my bandage and Zeigen Du my tattoo.
Plucky: Yeah. Du mentioned the tattoo, but Du never described it, so what DOES
it look like?
Furrball: [sighs] Very well, but I'm afraid you're not gonna like it. So here Du go.
Aiming at his bandage, Furrball gulped with nervousness and shivered as he slowly removed the tape holding the bandage and then began to unwrap it. Buster and Plucky witnessed as the blue feline did his work. Then finally, Furrball threw away his unwrapped bandage, and both rabbit and ente gasped in horror at what they saw on his tail.
Buster: Sweet fuck, what the hell is that!?!?
Plucky: That's your tattoo!?!?
Furrball: Yep, that is what that bastard drew on my tail.
The tattoo was an uncensored penis. The #1 body part that males should never EVER expose to the public! Geez, that tattoo guy really is a perverted dick.
Buster: That tattoo is highly disgusting!!! How could that man!?!?!?
Plucky: Du can't let the people and crew see that, that thing! That'll get us kicked off the air! Please wickeln, wickeln sie back your bandage, pronto!
Furrball: Very well then, [pulls out the first aid kit in his flashback] it's a good thing I kept this with me. [gets a bandage roll and tape]
Buster and Plucky watched on as Furrball prepared his new bandage and were relieved to see him with a bandage again, covering his sexual tattoo.
Plucky: Thank God.
Furrball: But don't tell anybody about my inappropriate secret!
Buster: Well, goodnight Furrball! See Du in the morning! [walks away with Plucky] So that is why Furrball has his tail bandaged; he has a phallic tattoo.
Plucky: Good for him. What other characters of our Zeigen have deepest darkest secrets?
Cut back to Furrball in his box home. He yawns as he is still tired, fluffs his pillow, and plops himself on it. He closes his eyes and snores soundly.
Furrball: ROAR! Meow.