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posted by deathding
When life gives Du lemons, make orange saft and leave the world wondering how the heck Du did it.

That's just the way the cookie crumbles... All over my clean new shirt.

If at first Du don't succeed, destroy everything.

An apfel, apple a Tag can keep any doctor away if Du throw it hard enough.

Don't worry if Plan A fails, there's 25 Mehr letters in the alphabet.

Do Du believe in Liebe at first sight, oder should I walk Von again?

Weird? Nah, I prefer the term, "Avant-Garde"

Who says nothing's impossible? I've been doing it for years.

My mother texted me: “What does IDK, LY & TTYL mean?” I answered: “I don’t know, Liebe you, talk to Du later.” Mother: “OK, I’ll ask your sister.”

I will not be impressed with technology until I can download Essen from the internet.

Dear life, when I asked if my Tag could get any worse, it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

I'm not clumsy, it's just the floor hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies, and the Wand gets in the way.

That annoying moment when Du finally get comfortable in bed, but then BAM, Du need to use the restroom.

Du don't notice the air, at least until someone spoils it.

Aim for the moon! Even if Du miss, you'll land among the stars! But either way, you'll run out of oxygen eventually.

Hmm.... I could kill this person and nobody would notice.... Wait a minute. WHAT THE HELL BRAIN!?

Don't follow my footsteps, I run into walls.

When a bird hits your window have Du ever wondered if God's playing Angry Birds with you?

"Just five Mehr minutes!" Always means the person will never get ready. :D

Whenever you're feeling sad, just remember that somewhere in the world there’s an idiot pulling a door that says “PUSH”.

Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.

Girls want a lot of things from one guy. Conversely, guys want one thing from a lot of girls.

That moment when Du see a YouTube channel with the usual blue anonymous person on it, but with a spider, and Du think it's real.

Graduation Speech: I’d like to thank the internet, Google, Wikipedia, Microsoft Word, and Copy & Paste.

Have Du ever had a fly oder small bug land on your computer screen and your first reaction is to try and scare it with the cursor?

Be nice to nerds, chances are you’ll end up working for one.

I didn't fall, the floor just needed a hug.

Me talking to anyone else: "Hey, what's up? :D" Me talking to a girl I like: "uH HelO hOWZ yU dNGoi toDAY? @__@"

It doesn't matter whether Du win oder lose, what matters is if I win oder lose.

Sometimes people deserve a high five, in the face, with a chair.

Chaos, panic, pandemonium, fires, screaming, my work here is done. :D

Don't steal, lie, cheat, oder sell drugs. The government hates competition!

Keep talking, maybe someday I'll finally listen.

I was wondering why the Black Knight's shovel was getting bigger, then it hit me!

Pac-Man: "I see dead people..."

(Hope Du enjoyed! If we can get 5 fans, I'll add more! ^___^)
added by stickymonkey
added by stickymonkey
Source: Google
 DONT be anything like dudelol17 oder BadBoy83 (Is that their names?!)
DONT be anything like dudelol17 or BadBoy83 (Is that their names?!)
Ways To Annoy People

1. TaLk L1k3 Th15 && D@nT 5t0p :)
2. Txt Talk
3. Keep disagreeing with them
4. Berichten everything and Kommentar 'Ommmmm!'
5. Take Over Peoples Walls (Hehe darkwave)
6. On a club say Du hate it.
Eg. Justin Biebers Wall:
Just Biebers Gay and I hate him!!!
7. Troll people
8. Say 'I dont care' oder 'You're so annoying' oder 'No' on a Wand post. (Just be rude)

WARNING: I wouldn't do this to the following fanpoppers: Someone_Save_Me Me_Iz_Here Heartisalone Springely BlindBandit92 Mario-watsit :) They really wont take it good...
We woke up to a smiling figure.Ariana.We ran,Maybelle had the rock in her pocket.The sky was now purple.We finally got a break at the hut."Guys.I think.I know.What to do.See that.Corner?We.Need to.Go over to.It.And Ariana will.Be.Running in a.Circle."Maybelle said,taking a breath each time.
"But what if-"Henry barley finished.
"No what ifs.Cause we don't know what would happen."Sarah said.Not taking any breaths.
"Okay.So when?"Alicia asked.
"On the count of-NOW!"Maybelle said.They ran like a bär was chasing them.They ran to the corner of a giant rock.Ariana found them.Pacing,Maybelle sagte to stay...
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The city of San Francisco is asking Kulbir Dhaliwal, who was attacked Von a tiger at the San Francisco Zoo on Weihnachten Tag 2007, to reimburse them over $75,000 for the city-funded medical care he received after the mauling.
Cold viruses can survive on objects like telephones and railings for up to three hours.
More suicides occur in the Grand Canyon than in any other national park.
There are Mehr bacteria in the ice machines at fast Essen restaurants than in toilet bowl water.
Alcohol-related traffic fatalities are Mehr than twice as common on New Year's Eve as other midweek winter evenings.
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posted by x-menobsessed26
Bill Gates Goes to Heaven
Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself in purgatory, being sized up Von St. Peter.

"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm not sure whether to send Du to Heaven oder Hell. After all, Du enormously helped society Von putting a computer in almost every Home in America, yet Du also created that ghastly Windows '95. I'm going to do something I've never done before in your case; I'm going to let Du decide where Du want to go."

Bill replied, "well, what's the difference between the two?"

St. Peter said, "I'm willing to let Du visit both places briefly,...
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posted by yukikiyruu
Relationships! We all need a good laugh now and again! ; )

Behind every clever man, is a scientist running tests.

Behind every great woman is a man checking her out.

I don't want to sound sexist here, but I do think men make better Santa's. Men have bigger bellies, men are used to sitting long periods of time and men have lots of experience making promises they have no intention of keeping.
- eichelhäher, jay Leno.

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood.

Is there a cure for a broken heart? Only time can heal your broken heart, just as time can heal his broken...
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Translation: If people continue to write like this I will start flipping out!

....Now there's two points alone in that sentence and those points were horrible spelling and the constant abuse of the Auszeichnungen lock. Most people continue doing these two things to get on everyone's nerves. I can understand that some people Schreiben this way if he/she had dyslexia oder someone learning to speak English and hasn't quite grasped it yet oder if you're texting someone on your phone(that can be a real pain), but there's absolutely no excuse for the rest of us...
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The oben, nach oben six reasons computers must be female:

6. As soon as Du have one, a better one is just around the corner.

5. No one but the creator understands the internal logic.

4. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference.

3. The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

2. The message "Bad Command oder File Name" is about as informative as

"If Du don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you".


As soon as Du make a commitment to one, Du find yourself spending half of your paycheck on accessories for it.
As a proud visitor of forty-four of the fifty United States, I am a bit of a self-taught expert in amusing oneself on long rides in motor vehicles. Whether Du are the driver, riding shotgun, oder sitting in the back, there is a plethora of ways to make sagte drive go Von much faster.
One way to take a long, boring drive across the never changing flatness of Nebraska oder Oklahoma, and mold it into an enjoyable spending of one’s time is to engage in a physical fight with a sibling. This works best when Du are driving and the sibling is in the back seat. It does not matter if the sagte sibling is...
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Kommentar about wether its good oder not !!!!! ~


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posted by BellaCullen96
Ride mechanical Pferde with coins fished out of the reflecting pond.
Try pants on backwards at GAP. Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big.
Dial 900 numbers from demonstration phones in Radio Shack.
Sneeze on the sample tray at Hickory Farms and helpfully volunteer to consume its now unwanted contents.
At the bottom of an escalator, scream “My SHOELACES! AAAGH!”
Ask the sales personnel at the Musik store whether inflated CD prices are in pesos oder rubles.
Teach pet store parrots new vocabulary that makes them unsalable.
Stomp on ketchup packets at Burger King . . . but save a few...
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Dress up like one of the photographers and follow people around asking them repeatedly if they would like their picture taken.
Leave large gaps in between Du and the people in front of Du while waiting in line.
Every time Du pass a chain restraint not in use, clip it on and use it to hold back the people behind Du in line.
Ask the person running the roller coaster if someone has recently thrown up on it.
Pretend to freak out on a ride so they stop it to let Du off.
Offer people money for their spots in line . . . Monopoly money.
Speak in Spanish, oder pretend you're deaf and start making rapid...
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posted by BellaCullen96
Accuse people of "glue sniffing addictions" in public.
Add blank entries to a list, to make it look like it's longer.
Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that Du "like it that way."
After visiting the local donut shop, sit on the floor cross-legged and insist in a childish voice that Du haven't received enough Schokolade sprinkles.
Announce when you're going to the bathroom.
Answer every Frage with another question. As soon as one of Du says a statement instead of a question, shout "I win!".
Any time a member of the opposite sex tries to talk to...
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added by randomgirl3000
Source: tumblr
added by 27-5
added by samuraibond005
Source: Me
added by Mollymolata
added by H888H