Credit: link. I didn't write it myself.

"I like taking pointless Facebook surveys as much as the Weiter person. But, since they’re mostly about kissing, I started to wonder how someone completely incapable of feeling Liebe might handle such things. So I just had to tag my good pal Lord Voldemort in my most Kürzlich survey. Here's what he had to say:

Was your last KISS standing up, sitting down, oder lying down?
The only KISS I believe in is the Dementor's kiss, and as I have very little soul remaining in my withered husk of a body, one would have little effect on me.

Whose bett were Du on last?
Nagini's,...

Credit: f***yeahslytherin.tumblr.com
I found these fascinating, thought Du guys might too, :)
And yeah, it's not ALL Death Eaters, but they're all Slytherins, :P

Bellatrix - “Bella” is a construct of the word “bellum” meaning “war” and “trix” refers to “a woman in power.” Bellatrix is therefore known as the “Female Warrior” and is also the pale yellow star, sterne indicating the left shoulder of the constellation Orion, the Great Hunter.

Blaise - Blaise was the teacher of Merlin. From the Roman name Blasius, which means “lisping.” From the Latin “blaesus.” A famous bearer...

Credit: mugglenet.com

Greetings, new follower:

If Du are Lesen this letter then Du have doubtless been accepted into the select band of professional wizards known as the Death Eaters. If Von some unprecedented chance Du are Lesen this and Du have not been accepted into the Death Eaters then I suggest Du put down this letter and leave now, oder the consequences for Du will be as terrible as my lifelong study into the Dark Arts can make them.

Please find enclosed a short introductory guide to Death Eating, which Du must memorize and then eat, to prevent security leaks. (Due to an unfortunate...

A handy-dandy Wikihow Artikel on how to make a horcrux, for all Du aspiring Dark witches and wizards out there!
Credit: wikihow.com

1. Become an extremely powerful witch oder wizard. This will take years of study and sacrifice which lie beyond the scope of a WikiHow article. As a general guide Du should not attempt to create a horcrux until Du can cast non-verbal killing curses.

2. Locate an object of extreme significance to you. An emotional attachment to the object will aid the process and make it easier on your body and soul.

3. Bathe in the Water of Sorrows and eat 1 cup of paste made from...