Me, Myself, and I

By Rita Skeeter

Exclusive interview with notorious Death Eater Bellatrix Lestrange

Here I am, sitting in the private dungeon of the notorious Bellatrix Lestrange, most feared follower of the Dark Lord, and having a completely normal interview. Read on to see if there’s Mehr to Bellatrix than just madness and a nasty reputation!

RS: Hello!

BL: *growls*

RS: Do Du mind if I use a quick-quotes quill?

BL: What’s that?

*fingers wand handle threateningly*

RS: Oh, nothing, erm, moving on…Can I call Du Bella?

BL: No.

RS: How would Du describe your relationship with the man known as...

Credit: mugglenet.com
I didn't write this, I just thought it was really funny.


1. "What did I ever do to y..oh, nevermind."

2. "Oh, ha ha, Du got me!! Am I on Punk'd? Where's the camera guy, huh? Where!?"

3. "Wow, you're even dumber than Du look, and that's saying something. What kind of idiot tells their victim what they're about to do?! I'm ready for Du now!!" *Prepare yourself Von getting into various Matrix positions, beckon him with one finger*

4. "And she's all 'F.Y.I., he's so into me and not you.' and I'm all 'Yeah, right, whatever.' Oh, I'm sorry! Did Du say something?"

5. "Why do you...

I suspect I'm not the only one, am I? XD...... Anyways, Du know you're obsessed with Bellatrix when....
Credit: Me Myself and I

1. Du throw away all of your hairbrushes.

2. Du wear at least some black every day.

3. Du rip your clothes on purpose.

4. Du call people Du don't like "filthy mudbloods".

5. Du yell "CRUCIO!" at people when Du get mad.

6. Du carry knives on your person

7. Your desktop background and screensaver are of Bellatrix.

8. Whenever you're typing a word that starts with a "B" oder an "L", Du accidentally type out a Bellatrix oder a Lestrange instead.

9. Du think her birthday should...