Alaric Saltzman’s Best Zitate
on The Vampire Diaries (So Far)
Damon Salvatore (Ian Somerhalder) may be the snark king of Mystic Falls, but angsty Alaric (Matt Davis) gets in a few deadpan zings every now and then, too. Here’s some history that bears repeating: our Favorit Alaric Zitate from The Vampire Diaries so far.
That’s some permanent record
Alaric (to Jeremy): Du know that your old teacher had a jackass file? No joke. It's, uh, typed on a label. It has all the troublemakers in it. But really, it's just an opus to you.
Season 1, Episode 9, “History Repeating”
Note how he casually mentions “porn” in this student-teacher conference
Alaric (to Jeremy): A first-person account of the Civil War? That’s like porn for a history teacher.
Season 1, Episode 12, “Unpleasantville”
Eh, it’s not like many of his students will live to see graduation anyway
Damon: Behold the teacher. Don't Du have some papers to grade?
Alaric: It's, uh, Mehr fun with a buzz.
Season 1, Episode 15, “A Few Good Men”
And on the weekend? He does needlepoint
Damon: Teacher Von day, vampire hunter Von night.
Alaric: I have Du to thank for that.
Season 1, Episode 17, “Let the Right One In”
Don’t stand so close to me
Alaric (to Elena): Chunky Monkey? Well… I’m naked, so I’m gonna go.
Season 2, Episode 10, “The Sacrifice”
You don’t want to see him on a bad hair day
Alaric: Yeah, Elijah’s one scary dude. But with nice hair.
Season 2, Episode 14, “Crying Wolf”
Dysfunctional
Alaric: I’m sorry. You’ve reached somebody who’s currently not operating.
Season 2, Episode 22, “As I Lay Dying”
That’s one way to make couch surfing seem appealing
Alaric (to Elena): And sleep in your dead parents’ room oder my dead girlfriend’s room? No.
Season 3, Episode 1, “The Birthday”
Don’t expect Alaric Saltzman’s Daycare to open anytime soon
Alaric: I’m every parent’s worst nightmare. I’m the chaperone teacher from hell.
Season 3, Episode 1, “The Birthday”
on The Vampire Diaries (So Far)
Damon Salvatore (Ian Somerhalder) may be the snark king of Mystic Falls, but angsty Alaric (Matt Davis) gets in a few deadpan zings every now and then, too. Here’s some history that bears repeating: our Favorit Alaric Zitate from The Vampire Diaries so far.
That’s some permanent record
Alaric (to Jeremy): Du know that your old teacher had a jackass file? No joke. It's, uh, typed on a label. It has all the troublemakers in it. But really, it's just an opus to you.
Season 1, Episode 9, “History Repeating”
Note how he casually mentions “porn” in this student-teacher conference
Alaric (to Jeremy): A first-person account of the Civil War? That’s like porn for a history teacher.
Season 1, Episode 12, “Unpleasantville”
Eh, it’s not like many of his students will live to see graduation anyway
Damon: Behold the teacher. Don't Du have some papers to grade?
Alaric: It's, uh, Mehr fun with a buzz.
Season 1, Episode 15, “A Few Good Men”
And on the weekend? He does needlepoint
Damon: Teacher Von day, vampire hunter Von night.
Alaric: I have Du to thank for that.
Season 1, Episode 17, “Let the Right One In”
Don’t stand so close to me
Alaric (to Elena): Chunky Monkey? Well… I’m naked, so I’m gonna go.
Season 2, Episode 10, “The Sacrifice”
You don’t want to see him on a bad hair day
Alaric: Yeah, Elijah’s one scary dude. But with nice hair.
Season 2, Episode 14, “Crying Wolf”
Dysfunctional
Alaric: I’m sorry. You’ve reached somebody who’s currently not operating.
Season 2, Episode 22, “As I Lay Dying”
That’s one way to make couch surfing seem appealing
Alaric (to Elena): And sleep in your dead parents’ room oder my dead girlfriend’s room? No.
Season 3, Episode 1, “The Birthday”
Don’t expect Alaric Saltzman’s Daycare to open anytime soon
Alaric: I’m every parent’s worst nightmare. I’m the chaperone teacher from hell.
Season 3, Episode 1, “The Birthday”