I woke up with tears streaming down my face. I picked my head up so that I could see if I’d woken Kody. He was still sound asleep. I got up and hobbled over to the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of water I’d stashed in there. I quickly got a drink and walked back to bed. I laid there for what felt like a long time; trying to make sense of it all. What had he meant Von you’re right? Right about what? Why did he just get up and leave? I was beyond frustrated. I rolled over onto my side and drifted back off to sleep. I was sitting on a couch, my couch. I watched as a guy grabbed up a little black and white Shih-Tzu. I knew this dog, this was my dog.
I watched as the man I hated picked her up and put her in the sink. I got up to get a closer view. He grabbed a knife; at first it happened so fast. He quickly took the messer and drug it across that small body. I watched as the sink filled with blood. He smiled and said, “oh no look what the fleas have done.” I cried out and tried to stop it but it’s not like he could hear me, it’s not even like the dog I loved could hear me.
“Leave her alone! She never did anything to you. Leave her alone. Please stop, I Liebe Du Maggie, please stay with me. God help her!!” And then I was ripped out of the dream. I woke up shaking and crying so hard that it felt like the world was collapsing around me. Kody sat up and looked over at me startled.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I cried. “Just a horrible dream, one that makes Du Frage everything and everyone.”
“Whoa, whoa, wait. Du aren’t questioning me are you? Because I Liebe Du Mehr than anything in this world.”
“I know and I’m not questioning you.” At the moment.
“Come here,” Kody pulled me onto his chest. I cried and cried until the tears refused to g=fall anymore. I cried until it hurt to cry. Why were all the monsters from my past coming back to haunt me? This is supposed to be the happiest Tag of any woman’s life and yet I just feel broken and betrayed.
When I finally stopped crying I noticed that Kody had fallen asleep. I quickly climbed off of him and went into the bathroom. The girl in the mirror was unrecognizable. The shadows in her eyes unmistakable. Her greatest fear confirmed. Her father had done it and there was nothing she could do to change that. But it couldn’t be possible, could it? This couldn’t be happening. But it was and as I slunk down to the floor I realized that I had been fighting the tears so hard that I’d actually bitten through my lip.
Stop crying, it’s stupid to cry, turn all emotion off. This can’t be happening; the people who Liebe Du hurt you, get over it. Wait does that mean Kody will hurt me? This marriage thing isn’t going to work. I can’t be married, what in the hell was I thinking! I have to end this, but I Liebe him, I think I Liebe him. Do I? Is this all a hoax? I always thought marriage was a hoax anyways. So why did I buy into the Liebe idea? Do I truly Liebe Kody? I know he thinks he loves me, but does he truly Liebe me, would he still Liebe me if he knew what I was thinking? I doubt it.
I watched as the man I hated picked her up and put her in the sink. I got up to get a closer view. He grabbed a knife; at first it happened so fast. He quickly took the messer and drug it across that small body. I watched as the sink filled with blood. He smiled and said, “oh no look what the fleas have done.” I cried out and tried to stop it but it’s not like he could hear me, it’s not even like the dog I loved could hear me.
“Leave her alone! She never did anything to you. Leave her alone. Please stop, I Liebe Du Maggie, please stay with me. God help her!!” And then I was ripped out of the dream. I woke up shaking and crying so hard that it felt like the world was collapsing around me. Kody sat up and looked over at me startled.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I cried. “Just a horrible dream, one that makes Du Frage everything and everyone.”
“Whoa, whoa, wait. Du aren’t questioning me are you? Because I Liebe Du Mehr than anything in this world.”
“I know and I’m not questioning you.” At the moment.
“Come here,” Kody pulled me onto his chest. I cried and cried until the tears refused to g=fall anymore. I cried until it hurt to cry. Why were all the monsters from my past coming back to haunt me? This is supposed to be the happiest Tag of any woman’s life and yet I just feel broken and betrayed.
When I finally stopped crying I noticed that Kody had fallen asleep. I quickly climbed off of him and went into the bathroom. The girl in the mirror was unrecognizable. The shadows in her eyes unmistakable. Her greatest fear confirmed. Her father had done it and there was nothing she could do to change that. But it couldn’t be possible, could it? This couldn’t be happening. But it was and as I slunk down to the floor I realized that I had been fighting the tears so hard that I’d actually bitten through my lip.
Stop crying, it’s stupid to cry, turn all emotion off. This can’t be happening; the people who Liebe Du hurt you, get over it. Wait does that mean Kody will hurt me? This marriage thing isn’t going to work. I can’t be married, what in the hell was I thinking! I have to end this, but I Liebe him, I think I Liebe him. Do I? Is this all a hoax? I always thought marriage was a hoax anyways. So why did I buy into the Liebe idea? Do I truly Liebe Kody? I know he thinks he loves me, but does he truly Liebe me, would he still Liebe me if he knew what I was thinking? I doubt it.