Since two days after we had our fight, I haven't seen Lola at school. It’s worried me, but I just pass it off that she’s sick oder on a longer vacation oder just ditching like she does at times. I haven’t called her oder went Von her house either.
The Tag I go back to school starts like any other day; Woke up to my screaming alarm clock, dress lazily, no breakfast, drive to school in my parents car, being Nick's not finished with my bug, get to English class and sit there dazed. I don't look around the class in Math; I didn't want to see oder deal with Tom. Science and Wood Shop drag Von and when the glocke rings for lunch, I hesitate to leave the Shop class. I sit there, watch everyone leave and when Mr. Boggs gets his aktentasche, aktenkoffer loaded and his jacke on, he doesn't even notice I'm still there.
Frankly, I didn't mind it much but then the tears came abruptly five Minuten later when I realized I was alone. And I know how retarded that sounds, but seriously, I'm alone in this terrible thing people call life. Well, except I have Nick, whenever it is he has time away from his wife and kid. But other than that, I don't have anyone. I had Lola till I screwed it up with her because of some half dimwitted guy. I don't think I ever had my parents; I was an accident baby in the first place, just like Sheeri. I want to say I had Tom, but he was just there, never reality and never a Fantasy either. Just a toy that caused my friendship to crack.
I stand up then, wipe the tears from my eyes and storm out of the classroom, ready to confront Lola. I pass a pack of niners who stare after me as I rush past.
“Geek,” I hear one mutter.
“Spaz,” another one says.
I don’t stop to yell something back at them, I just keep running down the hallway until I get to the lunchroom where everyone – and I mean everyone – stops what their doing and stares at me, like I’m an alien oder unknown human being. Nobody says anything, a few grunts and a lot of eye rolls, but no words. So since I’ve already publicly humiliated myself, I decide to do it in style all the way baby.
“Has anyone seen Lola Wells?” I ask loud enough for every ear to hear me.
I’m surprised no one starts laughing, a few people look down at there lunch, like it’s a toxic, venomous spinne about to bite them. No one says anything and I’m about to blow up here, waiting for an answer.
“Anyone seen her?” I yell, searching over the crowd of people.
That’s when the tears come again and someone, I think Mr. lerche pulls me, unwillingly, to the library;
“Let me go!” I yell over and over again into the faces of all the students in the lunchroom. "Let me go!" I shriek into Mr. Lark's face as he drags me away from the lunchroom and into the library. Mr. lerche restrains my wrists, holding my arms down along my sides.
"Let me go, Du arsch hole!" I shreik.
"Grace! Grace! Calm down!" he yells at me, "Lola's gone," he says, his voice lower.
"Gone? Gone? What the hell are Du talking about, gone?" I ask, tears that stained my face keep running down my cheeks.
"She died, Grace, in a car accident," he says.
"What? No! You’re lying to me, why would Du say that?" I scream. "How could Du say that? Du monster! Du try to sleep with me and now you're trying to tell me my best friend is dead? What kind of a teacher are you?" I scream.
"Shut up, Grace! Du promised!" he yells.
"I promised nothing! Now where is Lola for real? Du took her, didn't you?" I yell.
"Lola is dead; she's been gone for three weeks now. I thought they would have told you," he mumbles, Mehr sincere than I could have imaged him to be.
"No she's not ... No she's not!" I yell.
He yanks my wrists down and then let’s go, pushing his hands up into his face.
"Yes, she is Grace, I'm sorry. I thought someone would have told you, I didn't want to be that person," he says, laying his hand on my shoulder.
"Don't touch me!" I yell, pulling away from him and storming out of the library. Everyone watching me as I run out the front door, teachers yelling my name to come back, but nobody is following me.
I'm surprised I can Bewegen my feet without tripping over them, far enough to reach my parent's SUV. I quickly grab the keys out of Nick's former hoodie pocket and put the car in drive. I don't know where I'm going, I just drive through town. I make circles around the entire town three times until I finally decide where to go. I make a U turn in the Wal-Mart parking lot and drive down curry Lane and stop in front of Lola's house. I turn the car off and walk up the steps of her old, decrepit house; Knock and ring the door glocke over and over until her mom finally Antwort the door in a rosa rob and a tissue in her hand, her eyes bloodshot red.
"Hi Mrs. Vincent," I say.
"Oh, hello Grace," she says.
"Mrs. Vincent, where's Lola?" I ask.
Her bottom lip quivers and she throws her hand up to her face; "She's dead," she mumbles so broken with a dull look in her eyes.
"Oh, Mrs. Vincent," I say, nearly on the tears of crying myself. "I'm so sorry."
"She was. . ." she cries, "such a good," she pauses, wiping her eyes, "girl. She didn't," she sobs, "deserve to die."
"I know she was," I say.
"Shouldn't Du be in school?" she asks, tears still streaming down her face.
"Um, yeah, but I just figured out that Lola had. . ." I look at her face, the face of a loving, broken mother who just wants her daughter back and I can't get myself to say the word "dead", "passed, a few Minuten ago. Nobody would tell me anything at school and I had to know so. . ." I trail. She doesn't say anything, frankly, I don't think she can. "Mrs. Vincent, when did Lola pass?"
"Last, last Wednesday," she cries, "in a car accident with her father. Brandan is okay but. . ." she trails. That was the night Nick and I made Liebe for the Sekunde time, but this isn't about that.
"I can't believe nobody told me," I mumble.
"What was that?" she asks, looking up from the floor.
"Oh nothing, Mrs. Vincent," I say, leaning in for a hug. "I'm sorry about Lola," I say. My voice doesn't sound as sorry as I truly am. I turn to walk down the stairs but she catches my arm and pulls me back into her arms.
"I know Du and my daughter we Friends and I'm glad she had you, Grace. I hope to see Du some time, just because. . ." she almost cracks then pulls me tighter in her arms. "Just because Lola's . . . g-g-gone . . . doesn't mean Du don't have to stop coming by. I'd like a few visits now and then," she says pulling away from me. She holds both my hands out in front of her and looks at me. "Bye, Grace," she says, letting go of my hands. She turns around and shuts the door behind her, leaving me there on the front step.

I don't go Home right away; with tears streaming down my face and a painful headache. I drive passed Nick's house and his little Saturn isn't there so I don't turn into the drive, instead, make another U turn and head off to Luy's. When I get there, Nick's Saturn isn't parked around back in the employee’s parking lot, so I get out and ask Rick oder Tony, I can't remember which, if they know where Nick is.
"Sorry, he wasn't scheduled to work today," Rick oder Tony says. "Aren't Du the chick that was with him a couple days Vor here?"
"Yeah," I sagte bitterly, not appreciating him calling me a chick. "Do Du know where he is?"
"I don't keep tabs on the guy," he says, crossing his arms.
I walk out of the garage and to the SUV without saying anything else to him. The guy is probably thinking what a freak I am, but frankly, I don't give a damn. I sit in the car for a few minutes. Anxiouty running through my veins and sweat running down my brow. I wish there was some way to know where Nick is without driving around the entire town, no matter how small it is, it'll still take to long. Then I remember my cell phone! I try to remember his cell phone number and call three differenet numbers with the wrong person on the other end each time. I contemplate on whether oder not to go in there, again, and ask someone if they have his number. I really don't want to confront Tom oder Rick oder whovever it was again, so I courageously get out of my car, again, and walk into the waiting room of Luys'. Sitting there in all her glory is Nina; I can't believe I'm stooping down to ask her something. I'm sorry if I seem mean about her, but something about Nina just doesn't seem right to me, like she's in Liebe with Nick oder thinks of him as a king -something- it just bothers me. She doesn't look up to see who came in, even though the little glocke on the door dinged. As much as this pains me, I slowly meander towards her desk.
"Hello," she mutters through her teeth, as if she knew who I was oder why I was here. Just utterally mad without the knowledge.
"Hi, um, I'm Grace," I say, holding my hand out, trying to be nice.
She looks up from her computer, her fingers stopped on the keyboard but don't rise off of them. She stares at my hand like the kids at lunch stared at their food; Not scared, but still unsure.
"Yeah," she says, rolling her eyes, "what can I do for you?"
"Do Du happen to have Nick Gregins cell phone number?"
"And who exactly are you?" she asks, finally pulling her hands off the keyboard and folding them in front of her mouth, her elbows resting on the table.
"I told you, I'm Grace," I say, sarcastically. She doesn't Bewegen a millimeter and her faces doesn't change either. I roll my eyes and grit my teeth, then smile; "I'm the girl with the bug in the shop. The girl who was watching them try to fix it a week and a half ago. . ." I trail, hoping she'll catch on. She doesn't. I fold my hands on the counter between us so I won't up and schlagen, punsch her in the face. "What does it matter who I am? I need to talk to Nick Gregins right away," I say, then add a please.
"I'm sorry, even if I did recognize you, which I don't," she smirks, "I can't give Du that information, it's confidential," she says, looking back down at her computer screen.
I walk out the office, mutter "bitch" far away so that she can hear me and then turn a corner and go into the garage.
"Anyone know Nick's digits?" I yell, loud enough for bitchy Nina to hear me too.
Two different guys look up in iusion, the other two are Tony oder Rick, maybe both.
"Hey, aren't Du the chick who just...?"
"Call me chick one Mehr time," I threaten.
He stands up from the creeper and comes over to stand Weiter to me, the rest of them following him as well.
"Did Du just tell me what to do?" he asks, all of them crossing they're arms in iusion, something they're good at.
I roll my eyes; "Please, just tell me what Nick's cell phone number is. I need to reach him now," I say, as calmly as I can. I look over to the window that connects the garage to the waiting room and see Nina stand up and look around at us. She knows what I'm doing; she knows I'm asking these idiots for Nick's number. She tells her customers to hang on a Sekunde and came rushing in here from the employees back door.
"I told Du that we can't give out numbers, that it's confidential, so why are Du asking the other employees?" she asks, completely annoyed and annoying.
"What are Du talking about Nina? There's no confidentiality," the smartest one says.
She looks at the four guys, defeated and then the blonde one finally says;
"549-6873," and I leave; my cell phone to my ear and my foot on the gas pedal. The phone rings four times before Nick picks up.
"Hello?" he asks in his enticing voice.
"Nick?" I ask, on the verge of tears.
"Grace!" he says excitedly.
"Where are you?"
"I'm at Wal-Mart, why? What's wrong?" he asks, concerned.
I let out a loud breath, my tears muffling my voice as I say; "My best friend is dead, Nick, I . . . I don't know what to do," I cry.
"Grace?" he asks, questionably. "Baby, where are you? Calm down," he adds.
"I'm at your work," I manage to get out.
"Shit," he says, breaking his rules, but neither of us care.
"What?" I ask, looking over at the garage, rain beginning to pour down on my windshields, the sound penetrating the roof.
"Lexi's here with me," he says, "well not here Von my side, but here in Wal-Mart. We were gonna go Home after shopping, and we only brought one car. . ." he ponders. "Could Du come pick me up? Is anyone at your house? I'm sorry for this, putting Du through this after what just happened to you,"
"No, Nick, it's fine, I called you," I cry, wiping my eyes. "Yeah I can pick Du up, no one should be home, lets hope," I say, putting the car in drive, "I'm on my way, please stay on the phone with me," I ask, pathetically.
"I can't," then he stops, I can hear him walking through a crowd of people. "I'll put Du on speaker in my pocket, so I can tell Lexi I have an emergency at work and need to leave, just try not to say anything, okay?"
"Yeah," I mumble.
I pull into Wal-Mart and listen to Nick explain to Lexi what's going on;
"Tony just called, there's an emergency at work; They need my help right now, and he's waiting out in the Wal-Mart parking lot. So I have to go," he says, I hear his lips hit someone, probably the baby's head.
"Do Du need a ride home?" she asks.
"No, it'll probably be late when I come back, Tony will bring me home," he says, "I gotta go," he says.
"Bye," she says, probably waving oder gaping after him.
I can hear his feet beating on the ground, faster than a walk, and then he fumbles around with his phone and his voice comes over the speaker.
"I'm almost there, GracieBaby" he says, putting a weak smile on my face, even though he can't see it.
"Oh, Nick, it's raining outside," I inform him.
"I Liebe the rain," he says, coming into view through the glass doors and running outside, the cell phone still to his ear, mine on my ear as well when he gets into the SUV his hair full of water.
"Hi," he says into the cell.
"Hi," I say back. Then we both slowly close our phones and set them on the seat. "Thank you," I whisper to him.
He can see I've been crying and he pulls my trembling hand off the steering wheel to hold it in his, "Let me drive, okay?" he asks, adding the sound of an adult telling a child something. He kisses my hand, and I wipe my cheek with the other. He pulls me onto his lap and then moves me onto the middle sitz as he scooches to the driver’s side. He never let go of my hand and pulled me to his side when we we're situated. I lay my head on his shoulder and our fingers entwine. He drives out of the parking lot with one hand and then looks down at me, our eyes catch since I'm looking up at him and he kisses my forehead.
"Tell me what happened," he whispers, as not to frighten me.
Then I remember that this isn't about Nick and me that it's about my dead best friend, as selfish as that sounds. . .
"I hadn't seen her all week . . . well; first off, a couple weeks ago, we had this really big fight about this guy at school and haven't talked through the time period between our fight and today. She hasn't been in school for a couple days, and I couldn't take it anymore, so I asked everyone in school where she was. That's when Mr. lerche came and pulled me into the library, he told me she had died. I didn't believe him, so I stormed out of the school and drove to Lola's house where her mom answered the door. I asked her where Lola was and she started crying," I say, my voice finally breaking and I catch my breath. "She told me that Lola was in a car accident with her father and Mr. Vincent didn't get a scratch and Lola . . ." I stop, "Lola's dead," I cry.
"Gracie," he starts, whispering. "It's not your fault, like with that teacher; Du had no control of anything. Your not to blame, Gracie," he finishes like the way he started.
I don't say anything just swipe my thumb across his hand. Nick wasn't going to my house, I don't know where he was taking us and frankly, anywhere but here would've been nice. After a short time of silence and a few right turns, Nick get's curious;
"GracieBaby, Du still with me?" he asks, moving our hands up and down.
"I never got to forgive her Nick; she died thinking I hated her. How am I ever going to live with myself?" I ask, beginning to cry again.
"She was your best friend, right?" he asks, sympathetically.
"Of course," I say.
"Then she knows, she's watching us right now, she knows, Gracie," he tries to tell me.
"But how am I going to know, Nick?" I ask, as if he were a guru oder wise owl.
"Your sorry aren't you?" he asks.
"I loved her, like a little sister," I say smiling short enough that it quickly fades.
"What was the fight about?" he asks, catching me off guard.
I didn't want to tell Nick about Tom. I didn't want to tell Nick about Lola. I didn't want Lola to die, but she did and I had to tell someone, so now I have to tell him about Tom too.
"We we're fighting over a guy," I mumble.
"A guy?" he asks, perplexed.
"Yes, I'm sorry," I say, looking up at his face.
"Its okay, Graciebaby," he says, trying to be supportive.
"Well . . . God, I really don't want to tell Du this," I whine.
"Then don't," he says, "you don't have to."
"Great, now I feel bad for not telling you," I ponder. "Okay, well we both liked," I try to emphasize liked enough that he'll get it, "this guy and I didn't know she liked him then when she told me she did, it was the Tag that we . . ." I trail, really not wanting to tell him this part exactly.
"What did Du do, Graciebaby?" he asks, looking down at me and rubbing his thumb across my hand.
I sigh and roll my eyes in shame, "The Tag we almost kissed was the last Tag we talked," I say, tears running down my face. "And the last Tag I had a real conversation with Tom too," I cover my mouth in horror because I uttered his name.
"So this guy's name is Tom?" he asks.
"Nick, this isn't what this is about!" I yell, "My best friend is dead, yes I'm sorry for liking another guy when we're . . . doing whatever it is we're doing," I say.
"Graciebaby, I'm sorry. I'm sorry about that, please, continue," he says, and I lay my head in the crook of his shoulder.
"She yelled at me for calling her intelligent and then for wearing your sweatshirt, that she thought was Tom's and then I yelled something back at her and left. The Weiter day, I tried to talk to her and she stormed off. I didn't go to Girl Scouts throughout that span of time and didn't find out till today . . . And now, I feel like the most terrible person in the world," I say.
"Gracie, you’re not the most terrible person in the world. Did Du kill someone? Did Du steel something? Have Du done anything wrong besides stand behind your best friend for how many years?" he asks, making a left turn.
"I'm just never going to get over this. She was my best friend, she was my only friend and I ruined our goodbye Von being a . . . Von being a slut," I mumble.
"Did Du sleep with this guy?" he asks, kind of crushed.
"No, Nick, I've never slept with anyone but you," I say, looking up at his scruffy face.
"So, both of Du liked this guy and Du fought over who would get him?" he asks.
"Yes Nick, this isn't learning car parts for the first time, this is girl stuff," I say.
"Exactly, girl stuff, I never understood girl drama and all that jazz,"
He turns the SUV off and I look out the windshield, "You brought me to a park?" I ask.
"It's where I used to come when I had problems, in my high school years. Let me think in piece and quiet without and interruptions," he says to me, yanking on my hand.
"But it's raining outside," I say.
"I know," he responds, unbuckling my seatbelt for me.
He pulls me out of the car Von my hand, into the pouring rain and in seconds, I get soaked as he pulls me around the play equipment and under the slide. We stand there, me wrapped in his arms and him leaning against the slide, in the pouring rain and he leans in on me, putting his hand on my cheek and his lips on mine. My hands fly up to his face and my eyes close. We stand there, lip locked for a few Sekunden when I feel water dropping on my head. I break the KISS and watch his eyes fill with uncertainness;
"I . . ." I start.
"Graciebaby, Du don't have to say anything, I know this is hard for Du and I don't need anymore explanations; I know your hurting," he says.
"I was gonna say that I wanna have sex with you," I say, confused a bit, but mostly nothing.
His mouth opens in an O shape then his bottom lip quivers, "Oh, um, well, Lexi's probably Home so we can't go there. . ." he trails and I don't add to his words, I just wait till he gets his breath back. We stand there, rain falling on our heads and he tries to start a few different sentences, but fails without saying anything else.
"I know this really shouldn't be the time for sex but I need it," I whisper.
"You need it?" he asks, his eyebrow rose.
"Please, I need to feel numb again. I need to feel like nothing in my world is wrong. I need you," I say, trailing my hand from his shoulder to his hand, entangling my fingers in his.
"Uhm, okay, Grace," he pauses, still kind of shocked. "I just, you've never asked for it before, it's always been just, natural," he thinks. "I need to sit down," he says, pulling free of my hold and curving around to the slide, sitting down. I close my eyes and bunch up my fists, tears tearing at my eyes, but I wipe them so they won't trail down my face.
He's sitting down with his face in his hands and I don't want to disrupt him, then he tells me to come over. I slowly meander towards him and he pulls me around to face him. I'm soaked Von now, completely wet and so is he, but it doesn't bother us enough to stop talking.
"I'm just, this is shocking that I have Du to myself and you're worried to like another guy because your with me. I feel so wonderful when I'm around you, but I still feel like I took away your innocence," I kneel down on the gravel in front of him as he takes my face in his hands. "I have feelings for Du Grace," he says, rubbing his thumbs over my cheeks.
"Why did I have to fall in Liebe with a married man?" I mumble, mostly to myself but that didn't stop him from hearing me. I lay my head in his lap and sit down on my butt, holding one of his hands in mine.
He runs his fingers through my hair, "You Liebe me?" he whispers ever so soft in my ear.
I can't lie to him, but I don't want this relationship to go so fast that Von the time we start, we've finished already. "How did this get into us?" I ask, "When it's supposed to be about my best friend?" I wonder aloud.
"Because Du abruptly told me Du want to have sex with me!" he yells and it startles me so much that I raise my head up in horror. "I thought I was here to help Du get through this pain, not inflict Mehr on you," our eyes lock and I look away quickly, making sure not to confuse him anymore Von my emotional eyes.
"I'm sorry Nick," I mumble. "I'm sorry that I've taken Du away from your wife and your baby. I'm sorry that I'm such an inconsiderate bitch," I say, breaking his rules.
"Your not a hündin and don't be sorry, I Liebe being with Du and away from them, well, her," he says, implying to Lexi. "I'm the asshole who should be sorry, this is about your best friend," I lay my head back down in his lap. "Come on, let's go rent a hotel room," he asks, Mehr than states.
"Okay," I nod my head in his lap, then realize that was probably the best thing I could have done to get him to have sex with me.
"Whoa," he says, pulling my head up from his lap. He looks in my eyes and smiles, "Let's go, Graciebaby," he tells me, standing up and pulling me up with him.
"Wait, Nick," I say, stopping and yanking him back to me, "kiss me," I demand, "please."
He looks at me and then turns around to lay one hand on my cheek and his lips on mine too. We could have laid down right there and jumped each other's Bones in the rain on the gravel. His lips slip over mine and I trace my hand down his scruffy face as the rain continues to pour down on us. He breaks away from me, not wanting to, "Come on Grace," he says and I'm being pulled toward the SUV.