I woke up in my twin bed, blanket pulled up to my quivering chin, lamp on the bedside tabelle turned on because I forgot to turn it off last night, my feet hanging off the bottom of the bed, as always. But today would be different. I rolled out of bett and shut off my lamp, opened up my butter-yellow curtains, and let the rising sun shine on my face. I admired the looming hills in the distance. The empty hillsides were my savior, my escape, my haven. I slowly stripped off my spitze nightgown, eyes never leaving the hills, and pulled on a formal blue dress and some pure white flats, my fanciest outfit. I felt I needed to be dressed up for the hills, so as to respect their greatness. I tore my eyes away from the hills and looked in the mirror. I fashioned my burgundy curls into an elegant updo with violett ribbons entwined in my curls. I sprayed myself with my most expensive perfume, rosa in a clear bottle. Then I dragged a yellow bag out of my closet and packed: I packed up all the clothes I could fit, toothpaste, a toothbrush, hairbrush. I walked into my kitchen, tiptoeing past my parents bedroom, where my physically abusive father and verbally abusive mother slept. I packed Essen into my bag and zippered the bag up. I slung the bag over my shoulder. It was heavier than expected, I stumbled a bit. I composed myself and walked into my sister's room. Baby Jesse was laying in her krippe sleeping. I peered into the crib, picked Baby Jessie up and stared into her face. Snow-white skin, rose-red lips, translucent eyelids, long, dark, thick eyelashes. I held her to me, and grabbed her baby bag and slung it over my free shoulder. And then I walked out the front door, out of that life forever. It took about twenty Minuten to lug Baby Jessie and the two bags to the hills, and then I had to walk up the hügel and dip down onto the other side, where I settled myself down in the valley between the two hills. Baby Jessie was still asleep, I laid down the blankets from her baby bag and put her down on them, praying she wouldn't wake up and scream and cry. I spread another blanket on oben, nach oben of her and looked up at the bright sun, rising above an empty hillside.
Its too dark
Too dark to see what is going on
Tripping over the couch
Slamming into the wall
stepping on the remote
It was too dark
The undone dishes
The scattered roses
The broken picture
My broken heart
It was too dark
Believing it would change
That he would change
A Waste
A waste of my time
My Effort
The “No Messages” left on my phone
It was too dark
It was too dark to see what had happened
Too dark to try to fix things
Its just too dark
Someone turn on the light
That light bulb in my head of what Ive done wrong
Its too dark
Too dark to see what is going on
Tripping over the couch
Slamming into the wall
stepping on the remote
It was too dark
The undone dishes
The scattered roses
The broken picture
My broken heart
It was too dark
Believing it would change
That he would change
A Waste
A waste of my time
My Effort
The “No Messages” left on my phone
It was too dark
It was too dark to see what had happened
Too dark to try to fix things
Its just too dark
Someone turn on the light
That light bulb in my head of what Ive done wrong
Its too dark