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#1: SEQUEL TO TREVOR PHILLIPS SERIES:

Michael: Alright Lester.. I'm inside. Why do I need these glasses?

Lester: (voice) For the 20th time.. They have a camera inside them.

Michael: Ahh.. So Du can take pictures of me shopping for diamonds?

Lester: (voice) No idiot..I need pictures of the security and vents.

Michael: If only we brought a camera, right?

Lester: (voices) We DID bring a camera, stupid.. I just told you.

Michael: I'm confused.

Lester: (voice is getting angrier) There's a camera on your fuckin glasses, Michael!

Michael: And why would I need a camera on my glasses?

Lester: (voice) Just tell me Du see the vents and security code?

Michael: Yeah.. Not hard to miss them, Lest.

Lester: (voice) Now take the picture.

Michael: How?

Lester: (voices) there's a camera!

Michael: On what?

Lester: (voice is screaming) THE GLASSES!

Michael: Ohh.. Okay. (takes the pictures and it sends to Lester).

Lester: (voice) Good, now speak to the worker.

Michael: (goes to the female worker) Hey lady.. I'm gonna be robbing this place later, (lester groans annoyedly). So tell me, are these glass cases easy to break.

Girl: (thinks he's joking) funny sir, funny.. But I suppose, yes.

Michael: And are the diamonds real?

Girl: Of coarse they are, sir.

Michael: Alright.. Thanks baby.. I better go now. (leaves).

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#2: SEQUEL TO TREVOR PHILLIPS SERIES:

TV COMMERICAL:

Trevor: (sitting on a long chair, beside a fireplace) Hi, I'm Trevor Phillips! And as Du may know, I am totally and completely INSANE! (deranged chuckle)... I like to yell at mice with my hemd, shirt off!

[Cut to Trevor on all fours, shirtless, and literary screaming at a small mouse]

Trevor: (sitting on a long chair, beside a fireplace) Sometimes, I like to steal other people's scabs!

[Cut to a man standing at a bus stop with a visible scab on his knee. Trevor comes in, rips the scab off the man's knee, and runs down the straße holding it high in the air and screaming the entire way down].

Trevor: (sitting on a long chair, beside a fireplace) How do I stay so crazy!? [Holds up a bottle of pills] Trevor Phillips's Crazy Pills!.. Take one with breakfast! One with lunch!.. And before Du know it, you'll be up on your roof, pooping in the chimney!

[Cut to Trevor sitting on oben, nach oben of a chimney]

Trevor: [Calling down] Hold out your stockings, kids!

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#3: SEQUEL TO TREVOR PHILLIPS SERIES:

Adam and Carly fell down an edge, after being chased Von Alturists.. Adam got shot several times during it.

Carly: Jesus Adam Du fuckin fell on me!

Adam: (annoyedly) Hey! I was shot 7 times, what's Du excuse!

Carly: (annoyedly) I punched, in the stomach!

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#4: SEQUEL TO TREVOR PHILLIPS SERIES:

Michael: (stomps over to Trevor, grabs the bier he's drinking, and smashes it onto the ground).

Trevor: ... Problem?

Michael: Those fuckin cult Friends of YOURS SHOT MY DAUGHTER! It's a damn good thing she and the baby are okay!

Trevor: (jumps up) SHE'S PREGNANT!.. Whose baby is that? Who's the man who did that to her!?

Michael: The biker.

Trevor: Trevor needs to gat that punk arsch bitch!... There are three things I Liebe in this world: Kylie Minogue, small dimples, just above a woman's buttocks.

Michael: Beautiful features.

Trevor: And the fear in a man's eye when he know's I'm about to hurt him.

Michael: Well Du go near him and I'll break your nec-

Trevor: Yeah? Du wanna threaten me? Du WANNA THREATEN TO ME!? (leaps onto Michael) I'M GONNA MAKE Du EAT A BOWL OF HUMAN SHIT!... (screams like mad man starts destroying the room for no apparent reason).

(SHORTLY AFTER):

Pinkie: (comes in and sees the guys jumping and making gorilla sounds at each other).

Pinkie: Guys, guys, calm down.

Trevor: Fuck Du Michael!

Michael: No fuck Du Trevor... I don't like Du Trevor. I think you're a fake friend.. The sound of your piss hitting the urinal, it sounds feminine. If Du were in the wild, I would attack you, even if Du weren't in my Essen chain. I would go out of my way to attack you. If I were a lion and Du were a tuna, I would swim out in the middle of the ocean and freaking EAT Du and then I'd bang your tuna girlfriend.

Trevor: … OK, first off: a lion, swimming in the ocean. Lions don't like water. If Du placed it near a river oder some sort of fresh water source, that make sense. But Du find yourself in the ocean, 20 foot wave, I'm assuming off the coast of South Africa, coming up against a full grown 800 pound tuna with his 20 oder 30 friends, Du lose that battle, Du lose that battle 9 times out of 10. And guess what, you've wandered into our school of tuna and we now have a taste of lion. We've talked to ourselves. We've communicated and sagte 'You know what, lion tastes good, let's go get some Mehr lion'. We've developed a system to establish a beach-head and aggressively hunt Du and your family and we will corner your pride, your children, your offspring.

Michael: How Du gonna do that?

Trevor: We will construct a series of breathing apparatus with kelp. We will be able to trap certain amounts of oxygen. It's not gonna be days at a time. An hour? Stunde forty-five? No problem. That will give us enough time to figure out where Du live, go back to the sea, get some Mehr oxygen, and stalk you. Du just Lost at your own game. You're outgunned and out-manned.

[pause]

Trevor: Did that go the way Du thought it was gonna go? Nope.

Pinkie: Guys, what is going on?

Michael: Trevor's naked Friends killed my friend Adam, as they TRIED killing my fuckin DAUGHTER!

Trevor: They aren't my Friends anymore.

Michael: What did Du do!?

Trevor: Okay.. But Du can't be mad at me.

Michael: (angrily) Trevor!

Trevor: Okay.. First off… I was minding own business.

Michael: (slams fist on table) BULLSHIT!

Trevor: (whining) I was!

Michael: And exactly what happened whilst Du were "minding your own business?"

Trevor: So I was just jogging though the forest, and suddenly they Schmucks surrounded me!

Alturists: (surround Trevor).

Trevor: (narrating) One of the shouted.

Alturist: GET ON YOUR KNEES!

Trevor: (narrating) And I replied with..

Trevor: (in the story) I'M NOT YOUR MOTHER LAST NIGHT!

Trevor: (narrating) And they took acceptation to that.

Alturists: (Violently open fire, but Trevor finds cover).

Trevor: (narrating) Buut.. Du know how that song and dance goes.

Trevor: (in story) AAAAAHHHHHHH! (brutally attacks them).

Trevor: And I killed all but one of them.

Pinkie: What happened to the last one?

(Alturist whimpering and shoots himself in the head.)

Trevor: PUSSED OUT LIKE A BITCH!.. Silver lining? I can Abbrechen their pay days!

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#5: SEQUEL TO TREVOR PHILLIPS SERIES:

Stretch: I am TOTALLY gonna betray Franklyn and Lamar, even though we grew up together.. Just makes it Mehr fun that wa-

Michael: (holding double barrel shotgun). Yo Stretch..

Stretch: What do Du wa- (gets a shotgun blast to the face, killing him).

Voice 1: Oh my god! He killed Stretch!

Voice 2: The basterd!

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#6: SEQUEL TO TREVOR PHILLIPS SERIES:

Trevor: (calling Carly as he drives though Sandy shores, to his trailer) I'm sorry for how I was acting... I really mean it this time.

Carly: (voice) Well.. I..

Trevor: Don't Du remember the good old days.. Back when I appeared as your school mascot.

FLASHBACK TO WHEN CARLY WAS IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL:

Young Carly: Uncle Trevor?

Trevor: (wearing mascot costume on everything but his head) Hey baby girl.. This time I think I got just the thing people will remember me for. I am gonna stop pollution with my new, lovable character, Gary the No-trash Cougar.

Young Carly: Wow.. That IS a good idea actually.

Trevor: Damn straight.. The school will Liebe me (puts on the mask, but it reveals to be the type of things NIGHTMARES are made of).

Young Carly: Uncle.. Their only my age.. 7 oder 8 years ol-

Trevor: (in the scary costume) Not now Carly.. (cocks AP pistol).

Young Carly: (gasps) Wait, is that a real gu- (Trevor runs into the cafeteria) TREVOR!

Trevor bursts into the cafeteria, with the horrifying costume, and fires a live bullet into the roof to catch the attention of frightened little kids).

Trevor: (violently screaming) PICK UP YOUR TRASH!

Trevor: (still angry) I wanna know whose cup this is! (shoots his gun into the air) I sagte I WANNA KNOW WHO'S CUP THIS IS!

A frightened little girl timidly raises her hand.

Trevor: (points the gun at her) PICK IT UP!.. PICK IT UP! PICK IT UP! PICK IT UP!

The girl, frightened for her life, puts the trash in the garbadge.

Trevor: (calmly) Thank you, sweetie. See what a nicer place this is when we all pitch in? Like Gary the No-trash Cougar.. Give a larbage, throw out your garbage. Spread the word! (He fires his gun into the air as he leaves the room).

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#7: TREVOR PHILLIPS SERIES, SEASON 3:

Pinkie: (Playing farcry 3).

Trevor: Du playing that game!?

Pinkie: It's addicting.. Du would like it boss.

Trevor: I tried it before.. I would of done things a bit differently, I can tell that much.

Trevor: (wakes up in the cage with Grant) Get me out of here!?

Vaas: Shut up!.. Cause Du two white boys look expensive! And that's good because I like expensive things...

Trevor: Du don't scare me boy-o.

Vaas: Too bad! I own you.. (Goes close to him) Your my bitc- (Trevor punches him though the cage).. AHHH!

Trevor: Du were saying.

Vaas: Fuck you!

Trevor: No fuck you!

Trevor: No, fuck, you!

Vaas: FUCK YOU!

Trevor: No fuck, you!

Vaas: No fuck YOU!.. (throws something in anger) DO Du WANT ME TO SLICE Du OPEN!?.. SHUT THE FUCK UP!

(brief silence).

Trevor: Hey mister.

Vaas: What?

Trevor: (chuckles) Fuck you.

Vaas: (screaming loudly)

Vaas: I WILL CUT YOUR FUCKIN FACE OFF Du FUCKIN DIC-

Hoyt: (walks) VAAS! STOP SHOUTING!..

Vaas: (growls angrily).

Trevor: Du are angry Vaas. You... Are angry.

Trevor: Dose the map so where Reily is!?

Grant: We're gonna find him. We're gonna free the others. And then we're going home.. (is suddenly shot in the throat and Vaas is revealed on a stage behind them, holding a AP Pistol, and chuckling to himself).

Vaas: What, Du want to run? Huh?! Du want to run, Du want to disre- (is suddenly shot in the head, dead).

Trevor: (holding AP Pistol he stahl, stola off one of the Pirates) Shut up!

7 DAYS LATER:

Hoyt: So... Your the new Vaas, huh?

Trevor: (dressed in Vaas's clothing, and put his hair into Vaas's mohawk) Yes, now where's Reily?

Hoyt: (actually a bit nervous) He's in the back.

Trevor: Thank you. (goes over and free's Reily, all without having to kill anyone).

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#8: NIKO/JOHNNY SERIES:

Roman: Du didn't say anything? Niko I didn't know!

Roman: ... Your an asshole Niko Bellic! a disloyal user! After what I did for you, Du dick! Du FUCKIN DICK!

Niko: I'm sorry!

Roman: SCREW YOU!

Niko: Look, it wasn't my business.. I thought Du were okay with it!

Roman: Well clearly I'm not!

Niko: Well.. Go after him then. (opens friddge) Cause I'm not getting involv- Wait, what happened to my kit-kat bar I left in here?

Roman: Vlad must of took it.

Niko: (enraged) THE MOTHER FUCKER!

Roman: Whoa man, calm dow-

Niko: (finds and cocks a pumpe action shotgun) I'LL KILL HIM! (runs out towards the car, holding the shotgun).

Roman: Wait Niko. Don't do anything too craz- Wait for me!

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#9: NIKO/JOHNNY SERIES:

Niko: Keep away from Mr Faustin's daughter.

Mason: Fuck you! This ain't Russia! And we ain't communists!

Niko: Why dose everybody think I'm Russian?

Daughter: Tell my dad! I can see whoever I want..

Mason: I will get the brothers. And we're kick your as- (gets shot in the face, and dies).

Niko: (holding handgun).

Daughter: Du KILLED HIM!

Niko: Yes. That's why I'm here… What did Du expect.. Me to chase him down on a bike and fight him and other bike members.. No thank you.

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#10: THE GTA/MLP CROSSOVER:

Saten: Man, his place is weird, I mean, look at this (picks up a pistol) look, someone dropped an unloaded gun on the sidewalk.

Suddenly a bunch of cop cars appeared out of literary nowhere and surrounded the two, screaming at them to put down the gun, and using unnecessary profanity.

Saten: I -It's mine.

Cop: PUT IT DOWN!

Saten: It's not even loaded!

For some reason the cops took this as a threat and open fired.

Derpy grabbed Saten and tackled him behind a nearby car cover.

The cops called in backup, despite that Saten and Derpy wouldn't even attacking them.

Saten: (throws away the weapon for whatever reason) We gotta get out of the open!
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