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Johnny: What's this about Ray?

Ray: Nothing., Were Friends aren't we.

Johnny: Really.. I thought Du hated my guts after that musiem stunt.

Ray: Noo, no Johnny, I don't hate your fuckin guts.

Bodyguard: Than what the hell are we doing!? I thought we were gonna ki-

Ray: SOOO!? JOHNNY!? DO Du LIKE LOUD SENTENCES!?

Johnny: Sometimes I guess.

Ray: Great.. Say, can Du do me a favour? Do Du see that painting behind you?

Johnny? (looks behind him) What about i- (Ray suddenly knocks him unconscious).

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Ray: (slaps Johnny).

Johnny: (wakes up from being knocked out) What the fuck!?

Ray: (in fake accent) Du ripped me off, C!

Johnny: (in fake accent) No I didn't, C!

Ray: (in fake accent) I'm gonna make Du pay, C! (hits him over the head with gun)

Johnny: That hurt!.. C!

Ray: I fucked Ashley, my friend, and now I'm going to fuck you. Where's my fucking stuff?

Johnny: Alright, alright... what Du do, is Du go down to the local pharmacy, ask for something called Viagra, and it will help Du go FUCK YOURSELF!

Ray: Fuck you!... (to unnamed assistant) Burn Jim again!

[Jim cuts his hands loose, gets behind the man with the messer to his throat.]

Jim: Stand down!

Johnny: (a bit brain damaged from the hit) STAND DOWN CATS!

Ray: No!

Jim: I'll cut him!

Johnny: HE'LL CUT HIM!

Jim: (annoyedly to Johnny) Shut, the fuck, up!

Ray: Besides.. Du don't have the guts!

Jim: ...

[Jim slits the man's throat and runs up the stairs with Johnny.]

Ray: Aghh! (runs over to his friend).

Ray: (angrily to the bikers) I'll see Du later!

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Ashley: Johnny.. I heard what happened.

Johnny: That wasn't my fault. L was powerless. L was plied with copious amounts of Red Bull, Jell-O shots … And Goldschlger… My doctor thought L had Crohn's disease… There were flakes of 24-karat Gold in my schemel, hocker for about a month… I CRAPPED GOLD!

Ashley: What are Du talking about.

Johnny: ... What are Du talking about?

Ashley: He told me everything. Me and strahl, ray ain't Friends no more.

Johnny: Me and strahl, ray neither, sugar.

Ashley: Johnny, I got some bad news. Jim... He ain't...

Johnny Oh no. Oh, man. Not Jim... Fuck this... (screams) FUCK!

Ashley: Okay, calm dow-

Johnny: (screaming) FUCK!... SHIT!... FUCK, SHIT!... FUCK!... FUCK, SHIT!... SHIT!... F SHIT!

(one Stunde later).

Johnny: (still screaming) SHIT!... FUCK, SHIT!... FUCK!... FUCKIN SHIT!... FUCK!... SHIT!... FUUUCK!... Okay I'm done

Ashley: Du still got me

Johnny: I don't got you. Crystal gone and got you, babe.

Ashley: Johnny, I'm gonna quit.

Johnny: Yeah, and I'm an idiot believing in your bullshit all this time.

Ashley: It ain't your fault. Johnny It's my fault I'm a fucking moron.

Ashley: I'm going to go to rehab, straighten myself out. Anyhow, he- he told me Du wouldn't get hurt... I wouldn't have done it otherwise.

Johnny: Yeah, well why shouldn't I kill you?

Ashley: Why bother? I'd be better off dead. But Johnny, strahl, ray ain't the problem.

Johnny: What are Du talking about? Are Du telling me that a backstabbing mob guy who wants to kill me ain't the problem?

Ashley: It's Billy. See, it's Billy. Ray... It turns out that Billy was trying to poison him against you, and now apparently Billy's going states... He's gonna- he's gonna blame you. I'm sorry.

Johnny: Well, what now?

Ashley: Du gotta get someone to help you. Maybe that Congressman?

Johnny: Maybe. We'll see. Go on and get out of here.

Ashley: I Liebe you, Johnny K.

Johnny: You're speaking a foreign language to me now, lady. Now get the fuck outta here.

MEANWHILE:

Ray: (gets shot in the face and dies)

Niko: (holding desert eagle) HA! I shot your face!.. Take that faceless!... Serves Du right for thinking I'm not going to lie down for some frat boy bastard with his damn henley, smoking his sticky buds out of a soda can while watching his Favorit downloaded Simpson episodes every night! Yes, we all Liebe Mr. Plow. Oh, you've got the song memorized, do you? SO DOES EVERYONE ELSE!

(20 Minuten later)

Niko: (still talking) That is exactly the kind of idiot Du see at taco glocke at one in the morning... the guy who just whiffed his way down the bar-skank ladder. If he wants to throw hands, I'll throw hands! I tell you...

-------------------------------------------------------------------

LATER:

Peg: Niko - good to see you.

Niko: And you. How are you?

Peg: Eh, eh. Fucking terrible. We've got legal problems, all kinds of crap. Du know how things have gone.

Niko: I've heard some things.

Peg: Du get close to your dream, then something holds Du back. No! Well, Commission oder no Commission, I ain't gonna starve. People don't want me around, they don't have to have me. But I know how to earn. I need a favor.

Niko; Here we go.

Peg: Fuck Du - I looked out for you. And I'll pay good. Real good. But I need Du to do something. I need Du to collect that H, I got some Russians who have a buyer.

Niko: Russians?

Peg: Yeah... Dimitri Rascalov.

Niko: No. We've got history.

Peg: I know... but this is real. I need you.

Niko: Real? What the fuck is real? Real because it's you?

Peg: Real because it's my last chance.

Niko: Then good luck.

Peg: No. I need Du to get that H. I need the money. I looked out for you, Du know. People wanted to what you, I sagte no. Now, I need you. And I'll pay a lot of money.

Niko:

Listen, Mr. Pegorino. I already told you. I got history...

Peg: No, Du listen, Du dumb immigrant fuck. I ain't asking you. I'm telling you. Do this! Get over your principles, these guys don't hold grudges. Do it - oder Du and me are gonna have a problem... (Niko emotionlessly stares at him)... Look, Phil will look after you. Du won't even have to deal with the fucking Russians. He's waiting for Du down in Tudor.

Niko: Alright.

Peg: I knew I could count on you. [to Tommy] Hey, how about that drink?

Niko: (in head) I still don't trust Dimitri.. Wouldn't hurt to have ONE last person.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Niko: And that's why I need you

Dash: (outside Packie's house).. But never sagte anything.. Du came over, knocked on my door. and sagte "and that's why I need you".

Niko: Fine..

(One explanation later).

Niko: And THAT'S whyI need you.

Dash: Russians huh?.. Du seem to be beliebt among them.

Niko: very funny... Now will Du come oder not?

Dash: Well.. I'm kinda hanging with Packi-

Packie: (off view) Hey Dashie... Wanna watch Adventure Time?

Dash: ... Never mind let's go. (leaves with Niko).

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Phil: Good to see Du Nicky.. Who's the girl?

Niko: A friend of mine.. She's a good shot, don't worry.

Phil: I hope so.. Anyway.. Call Dimitri, and let's get this over with.

Niko: (calls Dimitri)

Dimitri: (voice) Niko Bellic, it's so good to be working with Du again.

Niko: I cannot say I have the same enthusiasm for this partnership. Have Du gegeben them the H? I want to get this money and go home.

Dimitri: (voice) Du know what? I thought, "Why should we hand over the H for this price?" I thought it'd be easier if I just killed those guys and kept it.

Niko: Easier for who? What the fuck are Du doing? Me and Phil are in their compound. What's going to happen when they find out?

Dimitri: (voice) If I was you, I'd go and get the money off them. It has to be on the site. That way we all win. Good luck, Niko.

Niko: (hangs up) Fucking Dimitri! He's killed the guys collecting the stuff!

Dash: Shit! Du got to be kidding me.

Niko: I wish I was.

Phil: Shit, we're screwed. They ain't gonna let us leave. Alright, if we're fighting, we're fighting for the money. We got the jump on them right now. Follow me.. Both of you.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Phil: (gives Niko a karabiner rifle, and Dash a shotgun).

Phil: (pulls out AK47) Alright, the money's in there. Once we're in, it's all oder nothing.

Niko and Dash: Let's go then.

Phil: Come after me... [shoots the skylight].

Phil: (shooting and screaming gibberious).

Dash: (shoots three people dead with her shotgun).

They battle along the floor and the catwalks to a small office on the opposite side of the building. The office door is locked.

Phil: Niko, I can't get in. Du gotta give me some help.

They manage to kick open the door as a Russian runs out the other side with the bag of cash.

Phil: The punk is geting away with the money. I ain't come this far to let it go. Come on.

The Russian drives away in a truck.

Dash: We need a car if we're gonna chase that bastard.

Niko and Phil and Dash chase the Russian in a kreis around the docks, then on the roads, to eventually stop and kill him.

Niko: We got it.

Phil: Thank fucking God. That certainly wasn't simple.

LATER:

Phil: Fucking Dimitri. I ain't never been put in a situation like that before.

Niko: I guess Du get used to it when Du hang around him long enough.

Phil: If they'd gotten tipped off before Dimitri called us, we woulda been fucked. It woulda been an execution.

Niko: Dimitri likes to set up executions. He set up his best friend Mikhail Faustin.

Dash: Du gonna kill him then?

Niko: No, it's over for me, I'm out. If I was going to kill him I would have done that instead of this deal. Now I got the money and I'm going to forget all about this shit.

Phil: Good luck to you, man. I hope it works out.

LATER AGAIN:

Niko: (calls Kate while Dash is still in the backseat) Hey, Kate. I decided to work with that guy. I don't know if it was the right decision but I did it. He screwed me over again.

Kate: (voice) Du see, Niko. Du should have gone with your instinct not to trust him. I can't believe Du could care about money that much.

Niko: Well, we do what we can to survive, Kate. Are Du coming to Roman's wedding?

Kate: (voice) I don't think so, Niko. I don't want to be around Du right now... I'm sorry. (hangs up).

Niko: Damn.. I still need to bring someone... Hey Dash wanna go to the we-

Dash: No!

Niko: Pleeease?

Dash: I'm not going to a stupid wedding!

AT THE WEDDING:

Dash: (dressed up) I am NOT happy about this.

Niko: What was the last thing Du were EVER happy about?

Dash: ... Shut up.

They meet up with Roman.

Roman: (to Niko) look at Du in those fancy clothes.. Trying to outstay the groom on his wedding night. Hahaha... Let's go.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Mallorie: Du ready?

Roman: Sure am.. I just hope that crazy guy doesn't find us.

FLASHBACK:

Trevor: Roman! How come Du didn't invite me to your wedding!?

Roman: Well.. Du burned down my Long strand apartment.

Trevor: Your still mad about that?

Roman: Yes.. Now please go away.

Trevor Fine.

LATER:

Roman: Well, Mallorie, I'm so excited about this we- OH MY GOD!

Trevor: (burned Roman's car) TAKE THAT ROMAN! (Maniacal laughter).

Roman: God damn it.. That's the Sekunde time this week!

Trevor: (still laughing as the cops come and throw him in their police car)

Mallorie: (sighs) I'll call a cap.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

MEANWHILE:

Johnny: BILLY!

Billy: Haha.. About time Du got here..

Johnny: (points handgun) I'll kill you!

Billy: Come on. Du don't know how to use that thing.

Johnny: Oh really? (turns the gun sideways) What if I hold it sideways like a black guy?

Billy: (scared) Whoa man!.. Take it easy, all right?

Johnny: I hate Du Billy!.. I ALWAYS hated you!

Billy: Du gonna shoot me than? oder just keep standing there staring at me?

Johnny: I will!... Eventually.

Billy: Hurry up! I'm getting bored.

Johnny: I will! I will!.. Just be patient.

Billy: (lies to anger him) I fucked Ashley and Carly BOTH!

Johnny: Du prick!

Billy: (wanting him to shoot already) Then do it! What are Du waiting for? Go on!

Johnny: I will! I'LL BLOW YOUR FUCKIN HEAD OFF!

Billy: THAN DO IT!

Johnny: I WILL!

Billy: Than why am I still alive!?

Johnny: Becau-.. Shut up!

Billy: JUST FUCKIN DO IT!

Johnny: Look.. just give me a second.

(Johnny never dose anything for five whole minutes).

Billy: PUSSY! (tries to stab him with knife)

Johnny: (finally shoots Billy dead).

-------------------------------------------------------------------

SEVERAL DAYS LATER:

Niko: Dimitri! Du and I are gonna finish this!

Dimitri: Fuck Du Bellic!

Niko: No fuck Du Dimitri!.. I KNEW it was a mistake to work with you!.. But I DID... I promised Roman to start forgiving.. And now Du took him!... I FUCKIN HATE YOU!

Dimitri: (a bit annoyed) Yes! I am aware of that.

Niko: I have Mehr respect for the shit I invaded my toilet with, than I for you. I'm surprised ANYBODYnlikes Du for all Du do.. Your a cruel, ugly, annoying-

20 Minuten later

Niko: (still talking as he chases after Dimitri on the roof) over confident, backstabbing, son of a bitch!... And when I find you! swear I am gonna I will rip out your eyes, jab them down your throat and have Du watch as I slowly rip each body part off and cut them into bite sized pieces and tha-

5 hours later:

Niko: (still talking as he chases after Dimitri on the boat) And when it's finally all done, I will cut off your head and place it over my fireplace, as a constant reminder of what a cold hearted FUCK looks like!.. and this WILL happen, I will hunt Du down and-

2 hours later:

Niko: (still talking as he's getting on Jacob's helicopter) And than.. And only than, would I be able to Bewegen on!

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Dimitri: (Is süddenly shot in the stomach).

Niko: (approaches) Welcome to America.

Dimitri: (translated) Screw you... Du dick.

Niko: Yeah well.. Kill my cousin.. And this is what happens. (shoves a grenade down Dimitri's throat and walks away as it goes off, pieces of Dimitri flying all over the place).

Jacob: Come on Niko man. Get out of here. Let's go. Come on! Wha gwan. Come on. Let's go!

Niko: Roman... never hurt... anyone.

Jacob: I know. I know. Let's go man. It's over. Du won.


THE END:

For REAL this time..
Ninjas want sprinkles on their ice cream.
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