MIKE
When I got the invitation to Bella and Cullen's… uh erm…wedding, I honestly thought someone had put me on the Zeigen Punk'd. I mean, what could Bella possibly see in that freak! Well, that was probably a stupid thought because he has the money, the perfect looks (Jessica's words not mine! I'm definitely not gay!), perfect grades, the perfect family, the perfect car, the perfect body (again, not my words!), and now the perfect wife. Great. But I'm willing to bet they'll get a divorce within the first Jahr of … marriage. Ew. Then she'll come running into my arms and I can gladly undress...
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