1. Force him to wear a leash and halsband, kragen and tie him to a pole.
2. Put up fliers saying "Lost Dog" with his picture on it.
3. Give him mouthwash for his birthday. Tell him he has dog breath.
4. Constantly remind him that Bella would rather ‘die’ then be with him.
6. When he’s a werewolf steal his pants.
7. Paint his motor bike hot pink.
8. Buy him a cat.
9. Name it Edward.
10. Buy him dog food. Act offended when he won’t eat it.
11. Ask him what he’s getting Edward and Bella for a wedding present.
12. Tell him Bella is allergic to dogs.
14. Call the dog pound on him when he fazes
15. Lock him in a room with Edward
17. Tell him that Aro and Bella are eloping in Mexico and he’s not invited.
18. Tell him he’s not a REAL werewolf, he’s just a shapes shifter
19. Ask him about puberty.
20. Force him to watch hai boy and Lava girl
21. Ask him if he thinks Taylor Lautner looks hot in a tight leather suit (Shark boy )
22. Tell him he’s Remus Lupin and Sirius Black’s crack child.
23. When he doesn’t believe you, ask him why his last name is BLACK, and he’s a WEREWOLF.
25. Every time he does something nice say, 'Good boy!'
26. Zeigen him the honeymoon scene in Breaking Dawn.
28. Tell him to sit and wave a dog keks in his face.
29. Buy him a dog bett for his birthday
30. Ask him if he’ll be your ‘guard dog’.
31. Zeigen him Edward/Bella Fan art, particularly ‘PG-13 – NC17’ Rated things
32. Start an ‘Edward dazzles me’ Fan club and elect him as president.
33. Force him to attend the meetings, every week.
34. Ask him if he actually drinks out of the toilet
35. Refuse to believe him when he says no.
36. Ask him if Edward dazzles him.
37. When he says no, use his catch phrase. "Sure, Sure." Just to piss him off.
39. While he’s sleeping put ketchup packets all around his bed, making it impossible to get out of bed.
40. Laugh at him when he tries anyway.