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posted by bonezrulez
Liebe thy gaffa as thou would Liebe thyself.

Honour thy SM and thy director.

Thou shalt not get caught in light.

Thou shalt not talk louder than a whisper.

Thou shalt not covet another tech's headset, torch oder blacks.

Thou shalt not drop things from fly rail oder catwalk.

Thou shalt not crave sustenance other than Burger King and vending machine food.

Thou shalt not kill another techie. Actors not inclusive.

Thou shalt assist the actor when walking through the wings of darkness.

Thous shalt be as God like as possible - fast, quiet, efficient.
added by irkeninvadermay
Source: NOT MINE
posted by bonezrulez
1. Why are the lights not coming on?

2. Does anyone remember where I got this fuse from?

3. Well I have a safety chain and a wingnut left over. Can anyone see a problem here?

4. I have just spilt Coca-Cola on the lighting desk.

5.What does this "delete scenes" thing mean?

6. Du remember that key for the light dimmers that we were going to duplicate,well its too late now.

7. Du do know Du are taking 26 amps from a 13 amp socket.

8. Is that hum supposed to come from the PA when the lights turn on?Oh don't worry it's stopped now.

9. Du know that no-colour blue, its green.

10. Du know we just spent...
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posted by bonezrulez
We hold this truth to be self evident:
That all TECHIES are created superior.

The Book of Genesis
In the beginning there was the Stage, and the Stage was without lights oder sets, and darkness was on the faces of the actors. And the Technical Director (hereinafter referred to as the TD) said, "Let there be Lights!" and the TECHIES worked and wired, and there were lights. Spotlights and specials, areas and backlighting - yes, lights of all shapes, sizes and hues. And the TD saw the lights, that they were well aimed and focused, gelled according to the scene, and no Mehr was there darkness on the...
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Your weekend consists of Monday, and only Monday.

"Q" is not just a letter.

National holidays that fall on Monday seem pointless to you.

You can only read from a light that is blue.

You can't remember what daylight looks like.

You feel naked without gürtel with your Maglite, Leatherman, and Gerber.

You know tie-line has several uses---shoelaces, belts, ponytail holders...

95% of your wardrobe is black.

You watch the Super Bowl, waiting for intermission, not half-time.

You tell Mehr stories of what went wrong on shows you've done than what went smoothly.

You start wondering what it feels like...
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posted by bonezrulez
Actor/Actress:1. Un-important nobody who speaks nonsense in front of admirable sets.
2. Mindless, zombile like people who blindly follow the director's commands. Their success is 99% determined Von the Techies.     

Actor Proofing: Making your set, props, costumes, etc, able to survive the blatant disrespect and misuse that an actor will give it. An actor will break it if it can be broken, lose it if it can't, trip on it if it is minding it's own business.     

Black: Every techie's Favorit color.     

Catwalk: The hottest place on...
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(related Mehr to Techies):
You have an insatiable need to coil all the cable in your house correctly.

The gaffer tape residue on your hands has become a Sekunde skin.

In the back pocket of all your black jeans, there is a faded area resembling a wrench.

Cherry Coke, Jolt Cola and Coffee are your new best friends.

Along with the vending machine.

Items on your birthday / holiday wish lists include: Tools, Sleep-in-a-Can, and
InstaRespecta: Simply sprinkle liberally on actors and they will suddenly feel indebted to Du forever.

You find yourself waiting at the bus stop, in the summer, when it's...
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Famous Words of NCHS Techies
"Work? What is that?"

"What was that?"

"OH SH*&!!!"

"Oops"

"Working hard oder hardly working?"

"Thats a sound thing, right?" (Refering to PDA)

"What que are we in?"

"What Zeigen are Du in?"

"Once Du turn black Du can't turn back"

"What are we SUPPOSED to be doing?"

"Do Du mind helping!!!"

"What time is it" (talking to the booth) "7:30" (a few Sekunden later) "8:30" (another few Sekunden later) "8:40" (yet another few Sekunden later) "10:25" (get the idea yet??)

"Falling off the stage HURTS!!!!!!!"

"I'm bleeding"

"I call first blood"

"Move with a purpose" <----VERY IMPORTANT!!
posted by bonezrulez
1. Bring a teddy bär to rehearsal, saying that your bär Foo-Foo will be moving sets with the rest of the crew. Refuse to do any work until Foo-Foo does.

2. Ask who else is getting paid $9.50 an hour.

3. Become the lighting designer. Refuse to use anything other than black lights.

4. When asked to come to the Zeigen in all black, Zeigen up in sunglasses, black boxers, black pants, a black t-shirt, a black sweatshirt, a black baseball kappe with black lettering, black on black argyle socks, black sneakers, a black trenchcoat, and wickeln, wickeln sie black gaffer's tape around your face and hands. Kommentar to members...
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