"Charlie

This is the third and final part of "Charlie," but the end of this just marks the end of the first "episode" of "The Charlie Arc."

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Kyle, Stan, Ike, and Charlie are sitting on the floor in Kyle's room when Mrs. Broflovski (Sheila) knocks on the door and peeks in.

SHEILA: Kyle, sweetie, can I talk to Du for a minute?

KYLE: Mo-om!

SHEILA: Now, Kyle!

They walk into the hall. Stan shrugs at Charlie. Ike crawls into her lap.

IKE: Kyle.

SHEILA: Kyle, I don't think I'm comfortable with Du playing with your new friend.

KYLE: Why not?

SHEILA: Well, he's dirty and bruised… Did he get in a fight today?

KYLE: No. She came to school like that. And she's a girl, Mom.

SHEILA: Kyle, how many times have I told Du to talk with me before Du have a girl come to our house?

KYLE: Never. I don't think it's ever come up before.

SHEILA: Well, if that girl starts a fight oder hurts any of Du boys, Du just come get me, all right, Kyle?

KYLE: But—

SHEILA: Kyle.

KYLE: …All right. Sure, Mom.

Sheila kisses him on his forehead.

SHEILA: That's my good little boy.

Kyle walks back into the room.

SHEILA: Keep the door open with a girl in your room, Kyle.

KYLE: Mo-om!

SHEILA: And watch Ike, all right sweetie?

KYLE: Stupid baby.

Charlie is bouncing Ike on her knees and he's giggling. He's saying "Kyle" with every bounce.

KYLE: Shut up, Ike!

CHARLIE: Your little brother's so cute, Kyle.

KYLE: Du just think that 'cause you're a girl. And he's not my brother. He's adopted.

CHARLIE: I still think he's cute.

Ike crawls up to Kyle.

IKE: Brother.

KYLE: Shut up, Ike!

IKE: Don't kick the baby.

KYLE: Shut up!

CHARLIE: You're mean, Kyle. I Liebe my little siblings.

KYLE: I bet yours aren't so goddamn annoying, then.

STAN: I hate my sister.

KYLE: EVERYONE hates your sister, Stan. She's such a b—

STAN: Shut up, Kyle!

KYLE (to the tune of "Kyle's Mom is a Bitch"): "Stan's sister is a bitch, she's a big fat bitch, she's the biggest hündin in the whole wide world…"

STAN: Don't use that against me, Du asshole!

CHARLIE: Jesus, shut up, Du guys!

Sheila rushes into the room.

SHEILA: Did I just hear someone say the J word?

All stare at her.

IKE: Kyle.

SHEILA: This is a JEWISH household, young lady, and we NEVER say the J word. Kyle, I think it's about time for your new "friend" to go home. [She leaves the room, mumbling.] And in front of Ike too; what a terrible influence.

CHARLIE: … I'm sorry for saying the J word.

STAN: Don't worry. There's no such thing. Kyle's mom just doesn't like you.

CHARLIE: Oh.

KYLE: Sorry about that.

Charlie looks at the clock. It's 3:56.

CHARLIE: Oh no! I'm going to be late! My mom's gonna kill me!

KYLE (thinking): Kill you?

CHARLIE: I'll see Du at school tomorrow, I guess. Bye!

She grabs her backpack and runs from the room.

KYLE: I think something's up.

STAN: So?

KYLE: So… do Du want to play undercover spies?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kyle and Stan are crouching in some bushes, wearing sunglasses, and carrying fake walkie-talkies. Kyle has binoculars.

KYLE: Chht, Agent Blue, this is Agent Green. Do Du read me? Over. Chht.

STAN: Chht. Agent Green, this is Agent Blue. Roger that, I read Du loud and clear. Over. Chht.

KYLE: Chht. Ten-four. The target is in visibility at nine-o'clock. Over. Chht.

Charlie is walking as fast as she can in her condition away from the Broflovski house. She looks nervous. The boys are about a block behind her.

KYLE: Deploying jet-packs. Over. Chht.

The two follow her across town and across the train tracks.

STAN: Chht. Agent Green, I think it's about my turn to use the binoculars. Over. Chht.

KYLE: Chht. Negative, Agent Blue. This is my mission, so I get the binoculars. Over. Chht.

STAN [angry]: Chht. Well Du look stupid, Agent Green. Over. Chht.

KYLE: Chht. Mission control, this is Agent Green, not giving a shit. Over. Chht.

STAN: Look, do Du wanna fight about this?

KYLE: Fine! Whatever. Take the stupid binoculars.

STAN: Wait… Dude, where'd she go?

They scan the sidewalk, but she's gone. Suddenly they hear yelling from the front step of a house. It's the house Weiter to Kenny's. Charlie is at the doorstep, looking down submissively before her angry mother.

Ms. PIERZYNSKI: When I say four o'clock, I mean four-fucking-o'clock. Get in here!

She grabs Charlie Von the front of her jacke and pulls her inside, slamming the door behind her. Stan and Kyle stare open-mouthed.

STAN: …Dude!

They run up to Kenny's door and ring the doorbell. Kenny opens the door and hiccups.

KYLE: Uh, Hey Kenny. Can we use your backyard?

Kenny shrugs, and then hiccups and nods okay. They hear a toilet flush. Cartman comes up laughing.

CARTMAN: Dude, Du should've seen the log I just laid. Your crappy plumbing will be backed up for weeks!

Cartman sees Stan and Kyle and frowns.

CARTMAN: Um, Kenny? Do Du remember when I explicitly asked Du not to invite over these assholes?

KENNY: (I didn't. They just came to the door.)

STAN: Yeah dude, we just need to do something really quick.

CARTMAN (sighing and rolling his eyes): Whatever.

Kyle and Stan, followed Von Kenny and Cartman (who stays further back than the others and entertains himself with a Megaman toy), head into Kenny's backyard and crouch in the bushes between the McCormick's and the Pierzynski's. They can here shouting and slamming inside. Suddenly the back door opens up. They ente down. Ms. Pierzynski pushes Charlie outside. Charlie's nose is bleeding.

Ms. PIERZYNSKI: And I swear, if that goddamned school has a reason to call me again in the middle of the day, Du will live to regret it! Du stay out here until I come get you, Du understand?

The door slams. Charlie takes a few steps out of the view of the door, then sits down and starts to cry. Then Kenny hiccups. Charlie looks up and is horrified to see the boys. She tries to wipe off the blood onto her sleeve and hide her tears. She looks extremely nervous.

KYLE: Dude, are Du okay?

Charlie looks anxiously at the door and then back at the boys. She apprehensively crawls toward them.

CHARLIE (whispering throughout this scene): What are Du doing here?

KENNY: (I live here.)

CHARLIE: I know that, I meant those two.

STAN: Who cares, your mom is a psycho! Do Du want us to call the police oder something?

CHARLIE: No! No. Don't do that. I'm fine.

There's a pause.

STAN: You're joking, right?

CHARLIE: Listen, my mom just has a bad temper. She's really stressed out. It was my fault for being late anyway. I was supposed to be here to watch my little brother and sister.

Stan and Kyle look uneasy. Kenny hiccups.

STAN: Alright dude.

He gets up with his hands in his pockets and walks over to where Cartman is.

KYLE: …Is this where Du got all the bruises and stuff?

Charlie looks down, then shrugs.

KYLE: We need to tell somebody.

CHARLIE: No! Please don't tell, Kyle! It's okay. I'm fine.

KYLE: I don't know.

CHARLIE: Promise Du won't tell anyone.

Kyle doesn't say anything. Charlie punches him in the arm.

CHARLIE: Promise!

KYLE: Ow, fine! I promise.

CHARLIE: Du swear? Du really mean it?

KYLE: …I promise not to tell anyone.

Charlie looks calmer.

CHARLIE: Thanks, Kyle.

Kenny hiccups. Ms. Pierzynski's voice can be heard from inside.

Ms. PIERZYNSKI: Charlie? Charlie!

CHARLIE [to Kyle and Kenny]: Get away quick.

She crawls back over to where she was before. Kyle and Kenny ente down as the door opens.

Ms. PIERZYNSKI: Charlie, I'm sorry, sweetheart. I just wish Du wouldn't be late all the time.

CHARLIE: I'm sorry, Mom.

Ms. PIERZYNSKI: Du know I Liebe you, sweetheart.

CHARLIE: I Liebe Du too, Mom.

Ms. PIERZYNSKI: Now come on inside. I have work and Du have to watch Beck and Davy.

The two disappear into the house. Kenny hiccups. Then they go back into Kenny's yard. Kyle naturally looks troubled. Stan walks up to him.

STAN: This is pretty fucked up right here.

KYLE: Yep.

STAN: Chht. So… what now, Agent Green? Over. Chht.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The Weiter Tag at the bus stop, Cartman is once again Singen "The Long and Winding Road." This goes on for a bit, and Kenny (who's looking a little pale and sickly) occasionally hiccups.

KYLE: Dammit, would Du shut up, fat-ass?

Cartman starts Singen louder. The other three groan and cover their ears. Charlie walks up. She looks the same as yesterday but with a swollen nose.

CHARLIE: Hi, guys.

STAN: Hi Charlie. Did your hündin mom beat Du up again?

CHARLIE: Shut up! She's not a bitch! This is the bloody nose from yesterday, dumbass.

CARTMAN: I have an idea. Let's play the "bitchy moms" game. I'll go first. Kyle's mom.

KYLE: Hey, shut up, fat-ass!

CARTMAN: What was that? Du want to go next? Well okay Kyle. Can Du think of a bitchy mom?

Kyle and Charlie glare at him.

CARTMAN: Like, do Du know any moms who force their kids to be vegetarians, oder beat the living shit out of them, oder anything like that?

They keep glaring. Kenny and Stan start laughing. The bus pulls up.

MS. CRABTREE: C'mon! We're runnin' late!

STAN: Hey, shut up, Du fucking skank!

MS. CRABTREE: WHAT DID Du SAY?

STAN: I said, "What's up, Du lucky… tank."

MS. CRABTREE: …Oh. Not much, thanks for asking.

The kids get on the bus.

CHARLIE: Hey, did Du guys see Terrance and Philip yesterday?

KENNY: (No, we were all too busy not being beaten up Von our parents.) Hic.

Stan, Kenny, and Cartman laugh.

CHARLIE: Hey, shut up, Du fucking… fuck face oder I'm going to… I swear, I…

Her nose starts bleeding again. They continue laughing. Charlie glares and crosses her arms. Kyle, who is sitting across from her, glances around.

KYLE: Uh, Charlie?

CHARLIE: Yeah?

KYLE: Du know how Du sagte Du didn't want me to talk about—

CHARLIE (in an edgier tone): Yeah?

KYLE: I was wondering if Du still were sure—

CHARLIE: I'm sure, Kyle. I'm absolutely sure. Remember: Du promised.

KYLE: [Sigh.] Yeah.

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In the classroom…

MR. GARRISON: Okay, children, take your seats now.

CARTMAN (whispering): Hey, Charlie… Guess who I am.

He punches Pip in the stomach, knocking him off his seat.

CHARLIE: Shut up, fat-ass!

MR. GARRISON: That's enough, now, children. It's time to start our oral presentations. Who wants to go first? Alright, Bebe, you're up.

Bebe walks to the front of the class.

BEBE: Ahem. This is a story of trust, of love, of betrayal… But mostly, it's the story of how I was tricked into believing that a girl was a boy, and my inner struggle throughout this experience, and after.

Charlie covers her face with her hands.

MR. GARRISON: Um, you're supposed to talk about a famous scientist from hist—

BEBE: It was a crisp fall afternoon when I entered the elementary school with a dear friend. I had just had my hair done, and it flowed to my waist in curly golden locks. When I entered the room, all of the boys gasped in astonishment at my beauty. Except for Stan, because he's Wendy's boyfriend. He gasped at astonishment at Wendy's beauty.

MR. GARRISON: Bebe, can we—

BEBE: One boy, new, whose countenance I had never before looked upon, remained unmoved Von my beauty. I was intrigued, taken aback Von his sullen demeanor. But all was not as it seemed.

MR. GARRISON: Okay, C minus. Take your sitz Bebe.

BEBE: What? I didn't even get to finish!

MR. GARRISON: We all know what happens. Charlie is a little girl. How embarrassing. Take your seat, Bebe.

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Lunchtime: the boys and Charlie stand in line in front of Chef.

CHEF: Hello, children!

KIDS: Hey, Chef.

CHEF: It's Thursday! And Du all know what that means!

BOYS: Salisbury steak!

CHEF: Ha ha, that's right! [He looks at Charlie. Charlie stares back.] Hmm, I don't think I've seen Du children in my cafeteria before.

KYLE: Oh, Chef, this is Charlie. She's a girl, but she's not gross.

Charlie smiles, obviously flattered.

CHEF: Nice to see Du here, children. Try my delicious Salisbury steak. It's best hot.

CHARLIE: Thanks, Chef.

All of them leave but Kyle.

CHEF: Is something wrong, children?

KYLE: Chef, what would be the best thing to do if I knew someone's mom was hitting them, and hurting them really badly, but I promised that person I wouldn't tell anyone?

CHEF: Children, the best thing to do is always to talk to an adult. Du should talk to Mr. Mackey, the cracker counselor. It's never a good idea to keep that kind of thing a secret.

KYLE: Thanks, Chef.

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Meanwhile, at the table…

CARTMAN to Charlie: Um… What do Du think you're doing?

CHARLIE: I was going to eat some Salisbury steak, if that's okay with you.

CARTMAN: Oh, yeah, yeah, sure, that's fine… Why don't Du go eat that… somewhere else…?

CHARLIE: Why?

CARTMAN: Because I want Du to go the fuck away from here. Sheesh. Stupid man-girl.

CHARLIE: I don't care what Du want, fatso. Kyle would let me sit here.

CARTMAN: Well Kyle isn't here right now, is he?

CHARLIE: I can sit here, right Stan?

STAN: I don't wanna get in the middle of this.

CHARLIE: …Kenny?

KENNY: Hic.

CHARLIE: Fine. I don't need to sit here. I can go sit with… [She stares blankly at the rest of the student body.] (Incoherent mumbling.)

Charlie walks up to the girls' table. Wendy and Bebe glare at her and look away. Charlie sighs, then goes to sit with Butters.

BUTTERS: Uh, Hey there.

CHARLIE: Hi.

BUTTERS: Du wanna see my super-cool comic book I made? It's called, "Butter-Man and the Invasion of the Bad Guys."

Charlie doesn't say anything.

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Meanwhile, Kyle returns to the boys' table.

KYLE: Dude, where'd Charlie go?

STAN: Cartman told her to take her shit somewhere else.

KYLE: What? Why the hell'd Du do that, Du jerk?

CARTMAN: Because, I hate her almost as much as I hate your people, Kyle.

KYLE: Du suck.

CARTMAN: "Kyle and Charlie sittin' in a tree. K-I-S-"

KYLE: Shut up! Shut up, Cartman!

CARTMAN (singing): I've waited all my life for you, and now you're here…

KYLE: Damn it! Shut up!

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Back to Butters and Charlie…

BUTTERS: Okay, see, I drew all the pictures and everything. I didn't staple it, 'cause my mom says I'm going to staple my fingers instead of the paper. So I just taped it together instead.

Charlie looks at the comic book. There are stick figures and illegible dialogue bubbles.

CHARLIE: It's… nice, Butters.

Butters looks thrilled.

BUTTERS: Du really think so?

CHARLIE: Sure. I mean, it's got… pictures, and characters, and… those look like words, and a story… All the necessary elements for a decent comic book. All right there.

BUTTERS: Aw, shucks, you're the nicest, Charlie. Eric sagte it was a stupid pile of baby turds.

CHARLIE: He was probably just jealous of all that raw talent. I mean, who wouldn't be?

BUTTERS (tearing up): Charlie… you… that's the nicest thing anybody has ever sagte to me.

Kyle comes up and sits with them. He looks pissed.

KYLE: Cartman's a smelly pig-ass.

CHARLIE: Yeah, I know.

BUTTERS: Hey Kyle, wanna see my comic book? Charlie says it's "nice," and that I have "raw talent."

Kyle flips through the book. He looks up at Butters, who is smiling eagerly. He looks at Charlie. She smiles and shrugs.

KYLE: Yep, it's definitely nice, all right.

BUTTERS: Whoopee! This is the best Tag of my life.

Charlie keeps smiling at Kyle. Kyle smiles back nervously.

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Kyle sits with Mr. Mackey in the counseling office.

MR. MACKEY: So, what exactly is it that Du wanted to talk about, Kyle? Is everything okay?

KYLE: Yeah… Well, with me, I mean. I kind of wanted to talk with Du about someone else.

MR. MACKEY: Well Du can tell me anything, m'kay?

KYLE: Yeah. It's about Charlie Pierzynski.

MR. MACKEY: Oh, the new girl in your class?

KYLE: Yeah. Um, I saw her yesterday after school, and… well, I saw her mom hitting her and yelling at her. I'm pretty sure it's her mom who gave her all her bruises.

MR. MACKEY: Thank goodness Du told me, Kyle. Telling an adult is always the right thing to do, m'kay? I promise, I'll do everything I can to deal with this issue and help little Charlie.

KYLE: Um, Mr. Mackey?

MR. MACKEY: Yes, Kyle?

KYLE: Could Du promise not to tell Charlie that I told you?

MR. MACKEY: Of course, Kyle. Confidentiality is our only policy, m'kay?

KYLE: …M'kay.

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On the bus on the way home, Kenny looks pale and tired. He's hiccupping almost constantly now. Kyle and Stan sit with each other and Charlie sits with Kenny behind them. Cartman is sitting nearby Von himself.

CHARLIE: Wow, Kenny, Du don't look so good.

Kenny, completely detached from reality, just hiccups.

CHARLIE: Guys, I think Kenny's real sick.

STAN: Yeah. He's probably gonna die soon.

CHARLIE: What?

STAN: Yeah, he does it all the time. No one really cares anymore.

KENNY (angrily): (You guys are assholes!) Hic.

CARTMAN: Hey, guys… Guess who I am. [He punches Kenny from across the aisle.] "Hey, Du dumb-ass kid! I'm gonna beat the shit out of you! Go… play with a doll, Du stupid girl!"

This time, all four of the others glare at him. The bus stops, and the five get off. Kenny hiccups.

CARTMAN: Well, screw Du guys, I'm going home.

He walks away. Kenny hiccups, then vomits and collapses.

CHARLIE: Jeez! Are Du okay?

Kenny slowly gets back to his feet. He nods, then hiccups. Then the bus pulls back.

MS. CRABTREE: Hey, Du forgot your medieval armaments on the bus again!

She throws a heap of chains, swords, maces, etc. on oben, nach oben of Kenny and drives away. Blood seeps out from under the pile.

STAN: Oh my God, they killed Kenny!

KYLE: Du bastard!

There's a pause as Stan and Kyle look at the bloody heap. Charlie does too, but open-mouthed and horrified.

CHARLIE: Oh my God! He's dead!

STAN: Yep. Told you.

CHARLIE: …Oh my God!

Kyle approaches Charlie.

KYLE: Um, Charlie? Do Du want to come over to my house?

CHARLIE: I think I'd better get Home early today. I don't want to get in trouble again.

KYLE: Oh… yeah, okay.

CHARLIE: But Kyle?

KYLE: Yeah?

CHARLIE: Thanks for keeping my secret. I know Du just wanted to help, but telling would have probably just caused problems.

KYLE: Oh. Uh… you're welcome.

Charlie walks away. Kyle looks worried.

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Outside of the McCormick and Pierzynski houses, Charlie walks up to her front door. Before she can open it, her mother does.

Ms. PIERZYNSKI: Du had better have an answer for me!

CHARLIE: W-What?

Ms. PIERZYNSKI: Don't get smart with me, Du little skank! Who were Du complaining about my parenting to, huh? Your little friend the school guidance counselor? Du are going to live to regret this, Du mark my words.

She grabs Charlie drags her into the house. The sounds of shouting and muffled cries are heard. Then screaming, then silence.

Ms. PIERZYNSKI: …Charlie? …Get up, honey. Charlie? …Charlotte, Du get up. Stop pretending. …Oh God.

Ms. Pierzynski runs out of her front door. Mrs. McCormick comes out of her house at the same time.

Mrs. McCORMICK: Du keep that little demon of yours quiet, Du hear me? One Mehr screamin' fit and I'm calling the police!

Ms. Pierzynski just runs away from the houses.

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Kyle walks up to the Pierzynski house. He knocks on the door once, and it opens Von itself. Kyle looks around nervously, then walks in.

KYLE: Uh… Um, hello? Is anybody here?

Kyle walks further into the house. The lights are all of. It's a mess.

KYLE: …Charlie?

BECCA: She's sleeping.

Kyle yelps, startled. A little girl, about four oder five, comes out of the shadows.

KYLE: …Who are you?

BECCA: I'm Becca Rezinski. Charlie is sleeping.

Kyle stares at her, then walks further into the house. A baby is crying in a krippe in the main room.

KYLE: Charlie?

He reaches the bathroom and sees Charlie lying unconscious on the floor. She's covered in blood and vomit. Kyle covers his mouth, horrified.

BECCA: Do we get pizza tonight?

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That's the end of "Charlie." The Weiter episode of "The Charlie Arc" is "Brainwashing." Check it out if you're interested!