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Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (2011)
Professor Severus Snape: [to Dumbledore about Harry] You've kept him alive so that he can die at the proper moment.

Professor Severus Snape: [to the Hogwart's students] If anyone here knows any knowledge of Mr. Potter's movements this evening, I invite them to step forward... now.
Harry Potter: [Stepping out of the crowd] It seems despite your exhaustive defensive strategies, Du still have a bit of a security problem, Headmaster.

Professor Severus Snape: For myself and a few select members of staff, this news comes as little surprise. We have for some time now considered Mr. Potter's return to Hogwarts as not merely possible, not inevitable.

Professor Severus Snape: Du have preformed extraordinary magic with this wand, my Lord, in the last hours alone.
Lord Voldemort: No, I am extraordinary, but the wand... it resists me.
Professor Severus Snape: There is no wand Mehr powerful, Olivander himself has said. Tonight when the boy comes, it will not fail Du I assure you.

Professor Severus Snape: It's come to my attention that earlier this evening Harry Potter was spotted in Hogsmeade. Should anyone attempt to aide Mr. Potter, they will be punished.

Professor Severus Snape: [to Voldemort] There is no wand Mehr powerful. It Antwort to you, and to Du only.

Professor Albus Dumbledore: We both know Lord Voldemort has ordered the Malfoy boy to murder me. But should he fail, I should presume the Dark Lord will turn to you. Du must be the one to kill me, Severus. It is the only way. Only then will the Dark Lord trust Du completely.
[Flashback of Snape killing Dumbledore]
Professor Albus Dumbledore: There will come a time when Harry Potter must be told something. But Du must wait until Voldemort is at his most vulnerable.
Professor Severus Snape: Must be told what?
[Shot of Snape going through the halls of the Potter house]
Professor Albus Dumbledore: On the night Lord Voldemort went to Godric's Hollow to kill Harry, and Lily Potter passed herself between them, the curse rebounded. When that happened, a part of Voldemort's soul lached itself onto the only living thing it could find. Harry himself. There's a reason Harry can speak with snakes. There's a reason he can look into Lord Voldemort's mind. A part of Voldemort lives inside.
Professor Severus Snape: So when the time comes... the boy must die?
Professor Albus Dumbledore: Yes. Yes... he must die.
[Shot of Snape collapsing at the sight of Lily's dead body]
Professor Severus Snape: You've kept him alive so that he can die at the proper moment. You've been raising him like a pig for slaughter!
Professor Albus Dumbledore: Don't tell me now that you've grown to care for the boy.
[Snape casts a Patronus in the shape of a doe, just like Lily's- the same one that helped Harry find the Sword of Gryffendor in Part 1]
Professor Albus Dumbledore: Lily... after all this time?
[Shot of Snape holding Lily's body in his arms while crying]
Professor Severus Snape: Always.

Professor Albus Dumbledore: [after James and Lilly's deaths] The boy survives.
Professor Severus Snape: He doesn't need protection, the Dark Lord is gone!
Professor Albus Dumbledore: The Dark Lord will return! And when he does, the boy will be in terrible danger! He has her eyes.
[Snape pauses in shock]
Professor Albus Dumbledore: If Du truly loved her...
Professor Severus Snape: No one... can know.
Professor Albus Dumbledore: That I shall never reveal the best of you, Severus?

Professor Severus Snape: No! Don't kill me!
Professor Albus Dumbledore: The prophecy did not refer to a women. It spoke of a boy born at the end of July.
Professor Severus Snape: Yes but, he thinks its her son! He intends to hunt them down now, to kill them. Hide her, hide them all. I beg you.
Professor Albus Dumbledore: What will Du give me in return, Severus?
Professor Severus Snape: Anything.

Professor Severus Snape: Look at me... Du have your mother's eyes.

Professor Albus Dumbledore: After all this time?
Professor Severus Snape: Always.

Professor Severus Snape: [to Harry] Du have your mother's eyes.

Young Severus Snape: She's just jealous. That she's ordinary, and you're special.
Young Lily Potter: That's mean, Severus.


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Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009)
Harry Potter: It was Malfoy.
Professor Minerva McGonagall: That is a very serious accusation, Potter.
Severus Snape: Indeed. Your evidence?
Harry Potter: I just know.
Severus Snape: Du just... know? Once again, Du astonish me with your gifts Potter. Gifts mere mortals could only dream of possessing. How grand it must be, to be the chosen one.

Severus Snape: It's over.

Severus Snape: [looking at Draco] I will escort him out.
Draco Malfoy: [glaring at Snape] Certainly - Professor.

Severus Snape: Run along, Wormtail!
[He waves his wand at the door, slamming it and knocking Wormtail back]

Severus Snape: [Snape has just walked in on Harry and Cormac. Harry attempts to run away] Not... so fast, Potter.
Harry Potter: Sorry, sir, but I really should be getting back to the party. My date...
Severus Snape: Can surely survive another Minute without you. Besides, I only wish to convey a message.

Severus Snape: [Cormac throws up on Snape's shoes] You've just earned yourself detention for a month, McClaggen.

Narcissa Malfoy: I know I'm not to be here. The Dark Lord himself forbid me to speak of this...
Severus Snape: If the Dark Lord has forbidden it, Du are not to speak...
[Snape turns to Bellatrix fooling around with his things]
Severus Snape: Put it down, Bella. We mustn't touch what isn't ours.
[to Narcissa]
Severus Snape: As it so happens, I'm aware of your situation.
Bellatrix Lestrange: You? The Dark Lord told you?
Severus Snape: Your sister doubts me. Over the years I've played my part well, so well I've deceived one of the greatest wizards of all time.
Bellatrix Lestrange: [Snarling] Huh!
Severus Snape: Dumbledore *is* a great wizard. Only a fool would Frage it.
Narcissa Malfoy: I don't doubt Du Severus.
Bellatrix Lestrange: [Walking around] Du should be honored Cissy, as should Draco.
Narcissa Malfoy: ...He's just a boy.
Severus Snape: I can't change the Dark Lord's mind. But it might be possible for me to help Draco.
Narcissa Malfoy: [Getting up] Severus...
Bellatrix Lestrange: Swear to it... make the Unbreakable Vow.
[Walking over to Snape]
Bellatrix Lestrange: It's just empty words. He'll give it his best effort, when it maters most. He'll just slither back into his hole... coward.
Severus Snape: [coldly] Take-out-your-wand.
[Cut to Snape and Narcissa clasping hands, as Bellatrix circles them, holding her wand]
Bellatrix Lestrange: Will you, Severus Snape, watch over Draco Malfoy, as he attempts to fulfill the Dark Lord's wishes?
Severus Snape: I will.
Bellatrix Lestrange: And will you, to the best of your ability, protect him from harm?
Severus Snape: I will.
Bellatrix Lestrange: And, if Draco should fail, will Du yourself carry out the deed the Dark Lord has ordered Draco to perform?
Severus Snape: I will.

Harry Potter: Incarcerous!
[Snape blocks the curse]
Harry Potter: Fight back!, Du coward! Fight back!
[Bellatrix shoots a curse at Harry]
Severus Snape: No! He belongs to the Dark Lord!
Harry Potter: Sectumsempra!
[Snape blocks the curse again, throwing Harry onto his back]
Severus Snape: Du dare use my own spells against me, Potter? Yes. I'm the Half Blood Prince.

Severus Snape: Has it ever crossed your brilliant mind that I don't want to do this anymore?
Albus Dumbledore: Whether it has oder it hasn't is irrelevant; Du gave me your word.

Albus Dumbledore: Severus... please...
Severus Snape: [Pointing his wand at Dumbledore] Avada Kedavra!
[Light shoots out of his wand, killing Dumbledore]


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Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2007)
Severus Snape: Du sent for me, Headmistress?
Dolores Umbridge: Ah, yes. The time has come for answers, whether he wants to give them oder not. Have Du bought the Veritaserum?
Severus Snape: I'm afraid Du have used up all my stores interrogating students, the last of it on Miss Chang. Unless Du wish to poison Potter - and I assure you, I would have the greatest sympathy if Du did - I cannot help you.

Severus Snape: It appears there is a connection between the Dark Lord's mind and your own. Whether he is, as yet, aware of this connection is for the moment unclear. Pray he remains ignorant.
Harry Potter: Du mean if he knows about it then, he'll be able to read my mind.
Severus Snape: Read it, control it, unhinge it. In the past it was often the Dark Lord's pleasure to invade the minds of his victims, creating visions designed to torture them into madness. Only after extracting the last exquisite ounce of agony, only when he had them litterly begging for death would he finally... kill them. Used properly, the power of Occlumency will help shield Du from access oder influence. In these lessons I will attempt to penetrate your mind. Du will attempt to resist. Prepare yourself! Legillimens!

Harry Potter: [to Snape] He's got Padfoot! He's got Padfoot at the place where it's hidden!
Dolores Umbridge: Padfoot? What is Padfoot? And where what's hidden? What is he talking about Snape?
Severus Snape: [pause] No idea.

Severus Snape: [watches a touching memory between Harry and Sirius] I may vomit.

Dolores Umbridge: [during an inspection] Du applied first for the Defense Against the Dark Arts post, is that correct?
Severus Snape: Yes.
Dolores Umbridge: But Du were unsuccessful?
Severus Snape: [with annoyance in voice] Obviously.

Severus Snape: You're just like your father. Lazy, arrogant...
Harry Potter: Don't say a word against my father!
Severus Snape: - Weak.
Harry Potter: I'm not weak!
Severus Snape: Then prove it!

Severus Snape: Discipline your mind!

Harry Potter: My father was a great man!
Severus Snape: Your father was a SWINE.

Severus Snape: Legillimens!
Harry Potter: Protego!

Severus Snape: How touchingly paternal, Black. Perhaps Potter will grow up to be a felon, just like his godfather!


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Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)
Professor Snape: [taps the blank Marauder's Map with his wand] Reveal your secrets.
[writing appears on the map]
Professor Snape: Read it.
Harry: "Messrs. Mooney, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs, offer their compliments to Professor Snape and... "
Professor Snape: Go on.
Harry: "... and request that he keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business."

Professor Snape: Well, well, Lupin. Out for a little walk... in the moonlight, are we?

Professor Snape: Expelliarmus! Ah, vengeance is sweet. How I hoped I'd be the one to catch you.
[to Lupin]
Professor Snape: I told Dumbledore Du were helping an old friend enter the schloss and now here's the proof.
Sirius Black: Brilliant, Snape - once again you've put your keen and penetrating mind to the task and as usual come to the wrong conclusion. Now if you'll excuse us, Remus and I have some unfinished business to attend to.
Professor Snape: [raises his wand at Black] Give me a reason. I beg you.
Professor Lupin: Severus, don't be a fool...
Sirius Black: He can't help it. It's habit Von now.
Professor Lupin: Sirius, be quiet!
Sirius Black: Be quiet yourself, Remus!
Professor Snape: Listen to Du two, quarrelling like an old married couple.
Sirius Black: Why don't Du run along and play with your chemistry set?
Professor Snape: [puts his wand to Black's throat] I could do it, Du know... But why deny the Dementors? They're so longing to see you.
[Sirius trembles]
Professor Snape: Do I detect a flicker of fear? Ah, yes. The Dementor's Kiss. One can only imagine what that must be like to endure. It's sagte to be nearly unbearable to witness, but I'll do my best.

Professor Snape: Which one of Du can tell me the difference between an animagus and a werewolf?
[Hermione raises her hand]
Professor Snape: [without turning around] No-one? How disappointing.

Harry: Excuse me, sir. Where's Professor Lupin?
Professor Snape: That's really none of your concern is it, Potter?

Professor Snape: A remarkable feat, don't Du think? To enter the schloss on ones own, completely undetected?
Dumbledore: Quite.
Professor Snape: Any theories on how he might have managed it?
Dumbledore: Many. Each as unlikely as the next.
Professor Snape: Du may recall, prior to the start of term, I expressed concern about the appointment of Professor...
Dumbledore: Not a single person inside this schloss would help Sirius Black to enter it. No, I'm quite convinced the schloss is safe, and I'm Mehr than willing to send the students back to their houses.
Professor Snape: What about Potter? Should he be warned?
Dumbledore: Perhaps, but for now let him sleep.

Professor Snape: Potter, what are Du doing wandering the corridors at night?
Harry: Nothing... I was sleepwalking.
Professor Snape: How extraordinarily like your father Du are Potter, he too was exceedingly arrogant, strutting about the castle.
Harry: My Dad didn't strut, and nor do I. Now, if Du don't mind, I'd appreciate it if Du could lower your wand.

Professor Snape: That is the Sekunde time Du have spoken out of turn, Miss Granger. Tell me, are Du incapable of restraining yourself, oder do Du take pride in being an insufferable know-it-all?
Ron: He's got a point, Du know.

Professor Snape: Why Du insolent, little...
Professor Lupin: ...Professor.


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Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (2001)
[deleted scene]
Professor Severus Snape: For your information Potter, Asphodel and Wormwood make a sleeping potion so powerful it is known as the Draught of the Living Death, a Bezoar is a stone taken from the stomach of a goat and it will save Du from most poisons. As for Monkshood and Wolfbane, they are the same plant which also goes Von the name of Aconite. Well, why aren't Du all copying this down?

Professor Severus Snape: There will be no foolish wand-waving oder silly incantations in this class. As such, I don't expect many of Du to appreciate the subtle science and exact art that is potion-making. However, for those select few...
[stares at Draco Malfoy]
Professor Severus Snape: Who possess, the predisposition... I can teach Du how to bewitch the mind and ensnare the senses. I can tell Du how to bottle fame, brew glory, and even put a stopper in death.
[notices Harry scribbling on his paper]
Professor Severus Snape: Then again, maybe some of Du have come to Hogwarts in possession of abilities so formidable that Du feel confident enough to not pay attention!
[steps over to Harry]
Professor Severus Snape: Mister Potter. Our new celebrity.

Professor Severus Snape: What would three young Gryffindors such as yourselves be doing inside... on a Tag like this?
Hermione: Uh... well... we... we were just...
Professor Severus Snape: Du ought to be careful. People will think you're...
[sees Harry staring at him]
Professor Severus Snape: Up to something.

[after catching Harry scribbling on his paper]
Professor Severus Snape: Tell me, what would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?
[Harry doesn't answer]
Professor Severus Snape: Du don't know? Well, let's try again. Where, Mr. Potter, would Du look if I asked Du to find me a bezoar?
Harry: I don't know, sir.
Professor Severus Snape: And what is the difference between monkshood and wolfsbane?
Harry: I don't know, sir.
Professor Severus Snape: Pity. Clearly, fame isn't everything, is it, Mr. Potter?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)
Gilderoy Lockhart: Let's have a volunteer pair. Potter, Weasley, how about you?
Professor Snape: Weasley's wand causes devastation with the simplest spells. We'll be sending Potter to the hospital wing in a matchbox.

[after the attack on Mrs. Norris]
Professor Snape: If I might, Headmaster. Perhaps Potter and his Friends were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. However, the circumstances are suspicious. I, for one, don't recall seeing Potter at dinner.
Gilderoy Lockhart: I'm afraid that's my doing, Severus. Du see, Harry was helping me answer my Fan mail.

Professor Snape: Du were seen. Von no less than seven Muggles! Do Du have any idea how serious this is? Du have risked the exposure of our world! Not to mention the damage Du inflicted on a Whomping Willow that's been on these grounds since before Du were born!
Ron: Honestly, Professor Snape, I think it did Mehr damage to us.
Professor Snape: Silence! I assure Du that were Du in Slytherin and your fate rested with me, the both of Du would be on the train Home tonight!


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Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 (2010)
Severus Snape: [from trailer] We have infiltrated the ministry.

Lord Voldemort: Where will he be taken, the boy?
Severus Snape: To a safe, sicher house. Most likely the Home of someone in the Order. I've been told he's been gegeben every mannerr of protection possible. Once there, it will be impractical to attack him.

Lord Voldemort: Severus. I was beginning to worry that Du had Lost your way. Come, we've saved Du a seat. Du bring news I trust?
Severus Snape: It will happen Saturday next, at nightfall.
Yaxley: I heard differently my Lord. Dawlish, the auror, has let slip that the Potter boy will not be moved until the 30th of this month, the Tag before he turns 17.
Severus Snape: This is a false trail. The auror office no longer plays any part in the protection of Harry Potter.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Harry Potter and the Goblet of feuer (2005)
Professor Snape: Potter, what's your hurry? Congratulations. Your performance in the Black Lake was inspiring. Gilllyweed, am I correct?
Harry: Yes sir.
Professor Snape: Ingenious. A rather rare herb, Gillyweed. Not something found in your everyday garden. Nor is this.
[holds up a bottle]
Professor Snape: Know what it is?
Harry: [sarcastically] Bubble juice, sir?
Professor Snape: Veritaserum. Three drops of this and You-Know-Who himself would spill his darkest secrets. The use of it on a student is, regrettably, forbidden. However, should Du eve steal from my personal stores again, my hand might just slip over your morning kürbis juice.
Harry: I haven't stolen anything.
Professor Snape: Don't lie to me! Gillyweed may be innocuous, but Boomslang skin? Lacewing flies? Du and your little Friends are brewing Polyjuice Potion, and believe me; I'm going to find out why!
[shuts the door in Harry's face]

Professor McGonagall: This can't go on Albus. First the dark mark, now this?
Dumbledore: What do Du suggest Minerva?
Professor McGonagall: Put an end to it! Don't let Potter compete!
Dumbledore: Du heard Barty. The rules are clear.
Professor McGonagall: Well the devil with Barty and his rules! And since when did Du accommodate the Ministry?
Professor Snape: Headmaster I too find it difficult to believe this mere coincidence, however, if we are to truly discover the meaning of these events, perhaps we should, for the time being, let them unfold.
Professor McGonagall: Do nothing? Offer him up as bait? Potter is a boy! Not a piece of meat!
Dumbledore: I agree with Severus. Alastor, keep an eye on Harry will you?
Professor Moody: I can do that.
Dumbledore: Don't let him know though, he must be anxious enough as it is, knowing what lies ahead. Then again, we all are.

Igor Karkaroff: [a highly agitated Karkaroff is following Snape around outside the Yule Ball as Snape patrols through the carriages parked on the grounds] It's happening again, like before, and soon neither Du nor anyone else will be able to deny it.
Professor Snape: I've told Du already Igor, I see no reason to discuss it.
[notices one carriage that is definitely occupied and blasts the door open with his wand, shooing out the students]
Professor Snape: Lumos! Ten points from Hufflepuff, Fawcett, and the same from Ravenclaw, Stebbins.
Igor Karkaroff: It's a sign, Severus, Du know it is.
Professor Snape: Sorry, I don't know what you're talking about.
Igor Karkaroff: Really? Then perhaps Du wouldn't mind rolling up your sleeve them, huh?
[reaches for Snape's left arm, which Snape quickly pulls out of his way]
Igor Karkaroff: Du don't fool me, Severus. Du are scared. Admit it!
Professor Snape: I have nothing to be scared of, Igor. Can Du say the same
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1.    Call him Snap.
2.    Post Lily and James pictures, videos, picks, links, etc...
3.    Remind him it was always going to be James
4.    Ship Snape and James
5.    Ship Snape and Wormtail
6.    Ship Snape and Voldemort
7.    Ship him with male characters
8.    Poke him and say "bother" for a really long time.
9.    Call him Snivellus.
10.    Ask him how his latest plot to get the Defense Against the...
continue reading...
Don't know if this is the right place for this as I didn't write this myself, but couldn't find quite the right spot for it.


By Cassandra Venise

1. Severus Snape and the Holy Shit He’s Back!

2. Severus Snape and that Lockhart Poofer with Dumb Hair.

3. Severus Snape and IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH POTTER.

4. Severus Snape and WHO THE FUCK stahl, stola FROM MY PERSONAL STORES?!

5. Severus Snape and the Dunderhead Who Sucks at Occlumency.

6. Severus Snape and Yeah, I Just Murdered the Greatest Wizard of All Time.

7. Severus Snape and HA! Du All Feel Like Crap for Doubting Me. I Gave My Life for that Four-Eyed Little S**t. You’re Welcome, Wizarding World.
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