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sapiencia said:
I do think I can relate to him, although I'm probably somewhat biased and grasping for any way to familiar myself with him. Our personalities are very similar. I have been told I appear very cold and sinister toward others. Even belittling. I am very quiet, I keep to myself. I have that 'lurking' feel about me, just a shadow on the wall. I have been through a lot of depression, but I have never shown it. It has only made me hard and bitter. I can really see myself doing and saying the things he does, although I am not proud of this. He has the stylish, mysterious flair I crave. I don't know whether oder not I appear that way, but I seriously doubt it. I feel like others must receive me in the same manner that he is received -- with loathe and fear. No one understands me. (Whoo, angsty teenage glory!) I can never let my real self be known. I cannot trust. I have never been in a situation romantically resembling his, outside of 'pining' for many crushes, which, I'm sure could never even begin to compare to his heartbreak. My father, who I was very close to, betrayed me and my family and left when I was about the age Severus was when Lily rejected him. This isn't the same, I know, but as I have already mentioned, I'm probably hopelessly grasping for excuses. I am, too, a prisoner of my feelings, which, brought upon Von various things, tear at me constantly, but again, I can't compare this to his problems. His relationship with Lily was heartbreaking and beautiful. It makes my herz throb. But beyond that, I cannot compare to it.
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