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This was definitely the most difficult Liste I've made so far. I even made a few changes when I was deciding the ranking. Du can obviously tell that this wasn't easy and took A LOT of dedication in order for me to figure it out. First of all, I will only be talking about the oben, nach oben 10 and just listing the other women and Wird angezeigt pictures. I figured that it not only makes it easier for me to make but also makes it easier for Du guys to read and not be overwhelmed. I hope Du enjoy it and keep in mind this is just my personal opinion. Please don't forget to Kommentar and I can't wait to hear what...
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1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag Du down to his level and beat Du with experience.

2. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

3. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stahl, stola a bike and asked for forgiveness.

4. Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

5. Going to church doesn't make Du a Christian any Mehr than standing in a garage makes Du a car.
6. We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

7. Women might be able to fake orgasms....
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added by Quirnechia
added by crisy93
added by Twilight_Dream
added by ilovehinder
posted by Usui--takumi
Why was Tigger looking in the bowl??
He was trying to find pooh.
There were three men on an airplane, one of them decides to bring a baby.There is a crash and only three parachutes so they leave the baby behind. When they get to the bottom they hear screaming. They find the baby on the ground. The dad of the baby says, '' How did Du get down here? ''. The baby replies, '' Me not dumb, me not silly, me hold on to daddy's willy!''
What's black and white, black and white, black and white?
A pinguin rolling down a hill.
Yo momma so fat, when she jumps her own boobs slap her.
Yo momma so dumb AND fat,...
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okay im gonna write in a special way

girls that are goth
they hate jocks
they hate it when u talk about sports
they hate it when u talk to much
they never want to do anything when their in a mood
they dont watch american idol
they dont like u to talk about american idol
they hate it when u say "why do u always wear black?"
they hate it when u bring them flowers
they hate it when u try to "make moves"
they hate it when u bring them to parties with people she doesn't know

girls that are smart
they like it when u say "your smartness is cute"
they hate it when u defer her smartness
they dont like it when u...
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posted by vlad_todd_fan
This is A TRUE STORY AND IF Du DON'T PASS THIS ON Du DON'T HAVE A SOUL!!!

My name is Chris,
I am three,
My eyes are swollen..
I cannot see.

I must be stupid,
I must be bad,
What else could have made,
My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better,
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy,
Would still want to hug me.

I can't do a wrong,
I can't speak at all,
Or else I'm locked up,
All Tag long.

When I'm awake,
I'm all alone,
The house is dark,
My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come home,
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll just get,
One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car,
My daddy is back,
From Charlie's bar

I hear...
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posted by Cantwait4book5
Dear Noah,
We could have sworn Du sagte the ark wasn't leaving till 5.
Sincerely, Einhörner

Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because Vampire are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection.
Enjoy fantasizing about that.
Sincerely, Logic

Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.
Sincerely, The Titanic

Dear J.K. Rowling,
Your Bücher are entirely unrealistic. I mean, a ginger kid with two friends?
Sincerely, Anonymous


Dear America,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely, Canada

Dear Boyfriend,
I can make...
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posted by karpach_13
The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. Du have to catch it yourself. ~Benjamin Franklin


Even if happiness forgets Du a little bit, never completely forget about it. ~Jacques Prévert


If Du want to be happy, be. ~Leo Tolstoy


Happiness is never stopping to think if Du are. ~Palmer Sondreal


Most people would rather be certain they're miserable, than risk being happy. ~Robert Anthony


The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. ~Mark Twain


If only we'd stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time. ~Edith Wharton


Happiness...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
a boy was asked Von his teacher to pick some spelling words for his homework. the boy goes Home and asks his mum "what's a good spelling word?" and the mother Antworten " Shutup, i'm busy", so he writes it down.
he goes to his dad and asks "whats a good spelling word?" and the dad Antworten "da na na na Batman!" so he writes it down.
next he goes to his older sister and asks "whats a good spelling word?" and she Antworten "yeah yeah" so the boy writes it down.
he goes to his younger sister and asks "whats a good spelling word?" and she Antworten "lollipop, lollipop" so he writes it down.
Finally he goes...
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posted by Mallory101
Just some of my favorite quotes.
------------------------------------------------


•Dance like your vagina's on fire.

•Don't be a dick just grow one.

•He haunts me like a nightmare, his image is everywhere, he doesn't leave me alone, i can't escape him oder erase him, when i know he's not coming
home.

•If Du want something you've never had, then you've got to do something you've done.

•How can I go vorwärts-, nach vorn when I don't know which way I'm facing.

•No one is free, Even the birds are chained to the sky.

•And the feeling when I'm with you,right there, is the exact reason why I never gave up...
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1. paint everything in your sisters room black see what happens

2. get your sister oder brother a drink put pepper in it....

3. play all your Musik really load

4. blackmail them O.o

5. act like a cow.

6. lick them O.o

7. give them a brot sandwich

8. set their alrm for two in the morning

9. bite them

10. flush the toilet when their in the shower

11. ding ding ditch their room

12. eat their food

13. be right in their face when they wake up

14 sit on them

15. put your cat oder dog on their face see if the animal farts in their face XD
How is it going, everyone. Welcome back to Watching Outside Your Xbox Window While Du Rant at Night. I’m your host, TatsMojo, and today, we’ll be taking a look at the strangest video games that Du have never heard of. Number 10: Katamari Damacy. This strange little gem was made on the weird side of the world, Japan. You’ve probably never heard of this (What the fuck am I doing?)
In all seriousness, when I hear about these weird games and the whole, “What were these developers doing? Snorting LSD and drinking PSP and doing funny weed?” is a mindset that just screams that Du really...
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Canada is finally getting footage on Youtube so can I do this way better than from last time I put this article..

-------------------------------------------------------------------

#1:
(live audience scene):
Peele: What I often do.. I take note of things my girl dose wrong, and call her on it at the right times.
Key: (pretending to be the girl) Jordon, why'd Du leave the toilet sitz up?
Peele: hündin WHY WAS Du LATE LAST NIGHT, AND I DIDN'T SAY NOTHING!?


#2:
(live audience scene):
Girl in audience: (laughing too hard)
Key: Ma'am... Breath.


#3:
Key: (texting angrily) do Du even WANT to hang out!?...
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So I talk about quite a few things on here, most of them with varying levels of popularity. So what better way to grab people’s attention then with good old 2000s nostalgia. So I wanna talk about Ed, Edd, n Eddy, a favoite Zeigen of mine from my childhoo- wait, Ed, Edd n Eddy came out in the 90s, fuck!



Ed, Edd n Eddy is one of the greatest Cartoons in, probably of all time. I know for a fact that it’s my Favorit show. Where other famous shows tried and failed, Ed, Edd n Eddy succeeded. Spongebob is good, but it had some rough years. The Simpsons is alright, but it is in desperate need...
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added by TheLefteris24