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Dear Noah, We could've sworn Du sagte the ark wasn't leaving until 5. Sincerely, the Unicorns.

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Airlines have banned passengers from taking tweezers on board... Anybody who can hijack a plane using a set of tweezers deserves the freakin plane.

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The guy who puts down Hunde at animal shelters must not get alot of women. "And what do Du do for a living?" "...I kill puppies."

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Do Du know what happens to 100% of people who eat carrots? THEY DIE.

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The worst time to have a herz attack is during a game of charades.

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You cannot bring sexy back without a receipt.

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"Want to play the rape game?"...
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posted by karpach_13
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!

Q: How can Du tell if a blonde has been using the computer?
A: The joystick is wet.

Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her Mehr attractive?
A: Her ankles.

Q: What do Du say to a Blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."

Q: What do Blondes say after sex?
A1: Thanks Guys.
A2: Are Du boys all in the same band?
A3: Do Du guys all play for the Green bucht Packers?

Q: How do Du make a blonde's eyes twinkle?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q: What does a screen door and a blonde...
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posted by karpach_13
101 FUN THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them
and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten Minute intervals
throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people Du can get
to Mitmachen in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department Von sampling all the
spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins as Du see fit.

9. When there are...
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posted by Mallory101
 1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."
1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."
179 Ways to Annoy People:


1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."

2. If Du have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

3. Start each meal Von conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

4. Name your dog "Dog."

5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what Du think."

7. Claim that Du must always wear a bicycle helm as part of your "astronaut training."

8. Follow a few paces behind someone,...
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1. Ask him why he 'doesn't have such a cool scar?'

2. Laugh at him.

3. Wake him up Von Singen strand Boys songs in his ear. 'Round, round, get around, I get around...'

4. Knit him things. Really hideous things.

5. Give him kangaroo-ears for a month.

6. Smile during Death Eater meetings and say Du taught him everything he knows.

7. Chew bubblegum all the time. Should he address you, your only response will be a series of huge bubbles in quick succession, the last of which will burst everywhere and make a mess.

8. Dance the Funky Chicken.

9. Ask him when was the last time he took a bath.

10....
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posted by phangirl2009
Chapter 1
I kept my eyes half closed even though I was awake. I had a full visual of what was going on around me and sadly, that meant my foster mother, Mrs. Lovett waking me up.
    “Emily, Emily,” she repeated in a sweet tone. This would have have made any other gal happy except I knew this would be over to soon.
    “EMIlY!”
    “I’m awake!” I yelp out smiling. Her wicked smile always made me happy.
    “Guess what? There’s good news.”
    “Have Du ever noticed good news...
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posted by ilovepenguins
1) If Liebe is blind, then why is there lingerie?
2) Why are they called "apartments" if they are all connected?
3) Should Du believe a chronic liar if he admits that he is a chronic liar?
4) Did Adam and Eve have bellybuttons?
5) Why is it that Hunde Liebe to hang their head out of the car window, but will get mad at Du if Du blow in their face?
6) If all the world is a stage, where is the audience?
7) If a baum falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?
8) If pro is the opposite of con, then wouldn't congress be the opposite of progress?
9) If the pentagon were...
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okay enough is enough already i'm so sick and tired of going on regular spots and seeing twilight crap on it and then when us normal fanpopers tell Du about it Du get mad at us and say we should just avoid the Fragen and content related to twilight WHAT THE FUCK Du SHOULDN"T BE POSTING IT ON HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE WE SHOULDN'T HAVE TO AVOID IT THATS WHAT TWILIGHT SPOTS ARE FOR
i do want to make it clear that i don't hate twilight i never read it oder saw it so i can't say that i like it oder hate it i will not judge something i know nothing about and i respect people who like it and keep...
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posted by patrisha727
I have a WHOLE Liste of facts in my computer so Mehr will be coming! ^_^

To win a Gold disc, an album needs to sell 100,000 copies in Britain, and 500,000 in the United States.

Music was sent down a telephone line for the first time in 1876, the Jahr the phone was invented.

The CD was developed Von Philips and Sony in 1980.
o About one-third of recorded CDs are pirated.
Ireland has won the most Eurovision song contests (7 times).

Annie Lennox holds the record for the most Brit awards (8).

The first pop video was Bohemian Rhapsody Von Queen, released in 197

The British, the highest per capita...
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posted by patrisha727
A typical American eats 28 pigs in his/her lifetime.

Americans eat 20.7 pounds of Süßigkeiten per person annually. The Dutch eat three times as much.

Americans spend approximately $25 billion each Jahr on beer.

Americans spent an estimated $267 billion dining out in 1993.

An etiquette writer of the 1840's advised, "Ladies may wipe their lips on the tablecloth, but not blow their noses on it."

Aunt Jemima pancake flour, invented in 1889, was the first ready-mix Essen to be sold commercially.

Caffeine: there are 100 to 150 milligrams of caffeine in an eight-ounce cup of brewed coffee, 10 milligrams...
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posted by jeannette27
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laminin protein cell
Now tell me that our God is not the coolest!!!
Amazing.
The glue that holds us together....ALL of us....is in the shape of the cross.
Immediately Colossians 1:15-17 comes to mind.
"He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation.
For Von him all things were created; things in heaven and on earth , visible and invisible,
whether thrones oder powers oder rulers oder authorities;
all things were created Von him and for him.
He is before all things,
and in him all things HOLD TOGETHER. "
Colossians 1:15-17
 laminin protein cell
laminin protein cell
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added by Marshally90