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posted by hakadoshi12345
Egypt: -Slaps haka-

Egypt: T//T

Haka~: O_O

Yuki/Midna: HEY! What'd she do to you?

Soda: WHOA WHOA WHOA

Soda: -ties egypt to a basketball net-

Soda: WTF IS GOING ON HERE

Haka~: I didnt touch you! I touched...

Haka~: Soda o.o

Egypt: SHE stahl, stola MY LAST COCONUT!

Egypt: AND SHE ABUSED MY CAKE

Egypt: AND ME AND MY HUSBAND

Egypt: AND MY WHEAT

Egypt: AND MY WEED

Egypt: AND SHE ROBBED MY HOUSE OF MY LOAN

Egypt: SHE TiED UP THE Naruto FiXER!

Soda: (Is she seriously freaking out oder is this another strange RP?)

Egypt: She ATE SUGAR iNSTEAD OF WHEAT!

Yuki/Midna: Haka didn't do anything.

Yuki/Midna: (I have no idea.)

Egypt:...
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posted by bubbletl
1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."

2. If Du have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

3. Start each meal Von conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

4. Name your dog "Dog."

5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what Du think."

7. Claim that Du must always wear a bicycle helm as part of your "astronaut training."

8. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything...
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posted by saphire1031
These are 10 sure sighns that Du need mental help:

1) Du think ailens have placed a zapping microchip in your head

2) Du make donkey noises say "Princess!" and then laugh phsycotically

3) Du think your underwear will eat Du alive

4) Du speak fluenit "Foreniese"

5) Du think a monkey
is living in Du toilet

6) Du think your best freind is a fish

7) PIE PIE I sagte PIE!!!

8) If Du scream that for no reason, well, Du know

9) If Du go to rob a store, then fake Du are an employee

10) If Du think Fanpop is pointless
posted by MarMar_XigLux
What Being a Retard Online can do for You

Being a retard online will bring Du riches beyond your wildest dreams, hot girls and above all - attention: Du crave attention, Du absorb it like a wet sponge...Ah yes, Du may very suffer from ADHD but it doesn't matter: no my friend, because Von being a retard online Du can get all the attention Du need for a small fee.

Poor Literacy is Kool!

If Du want to be a retard Du must learn to spell like one, remember kids - poor literacy is cool! First of all we must take a lesson from the Image comics of old and remember that everything must be EXTREME!...
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posted by ultimatefredde
1. Guys for gods sake, dont pretend being something Du aren´t girls have a sixth sense we don´t have and find out sooner oder later

2. Dance!

3.Flirt, they aren´t the only ones who should do this.

4.Tell her what Du really enjoy in life

5.Help them out when needed.

6.Avoid playing those "Gay games" with your pals, it´s just not right

7.avoid grabbing your "parts" on public. Really.

8.Be original, with gifts, don´t just give flowers, oder take her to dinner, also sometimes a card oder a simple walk in the park is good to try

9.Be romantic and take shyness away

10. Express your feelings, Du wont die...
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posted by darktheheghog
ok i HATE getting a cold ya know why because i cant see my Friends at school i cant go outside and i always cough about every 5 Minuten AND ALSO I GET A STUPID STINKIN SORE THROAT which always annoys me i know getting a cold happens to everyone and i know some of Du would say "getting a cold is the best u dont haft to go to school" and its kinda true but some peeps like going to school and hate getting sick i dont really like going to school but i do like going to school to hang out with my Friends ya know also when u get a cold u also get a MASSIVE head ache sometimes which i have right now...
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posted by lloonny
1. Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
2. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas
3. Chuck Norris will never have a herz attack. His herz isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
4. If at first Du don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
5. Chuck Norris can set ants on feuer with a magnifying glass. At night.
6. Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
7. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
8. They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
9....
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posted by happyfreak
A friend of mine has another friend that is addicted to meth. She found this and gave it to her friend. She then gave me a copy because she sagte it was sad and cared enough to let me know what meth is and does.

This poem was written Von a young Indiana girl who was in jail for drug charges, and was addicted to Meth. She wrote this while in jail. As Du will soon read, she fully grasped the horrors of the drug, as she tells in this simple, yet profound poem. She was released from jail, but, true to her story, the drug owned her. They found her dead not long after, with the needle still in her...
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posted by smileypop9
Million has 6 zeros
Billion has 9 zeros
Trillion has 12 zeros
Quadrillion has 15 zeros
Quintillion has 18 zeros
Sextillion has 21 zeros
Septillion has 24 zeros
Octillion has 27 zeros
Nonillion has 30 zeros
Decillion has 33 zeros
Undecillion has 36 zeros
Duodecillion has 39 zeros
Tredecillion has 42 zeros
Quattuordecillion has 45 zeros
Quindecillion has 48 zeros
Sexdecillion has 51 zeros
Septendecillion has 54 zeros
Octodecillion has 57 zeros
Novemdecillion has 60 zeros
Vigintillion has 63 zeros
Googol has 100 zeros.
Centillion has 303 zeros (except in Britain, where it has 600 zeros)
Googolplex has a googol of zeros
Gazillion has 86430 zeros
---------------------------
posted by TruBerries
**Before I begin, I would like to say that I'm Schreiben this out of experience so y'all don't be thinking that I'm guessing, putting other people down who did oder are doing this, oder that I'm being absolutely rude about it, which I'm not.**

In everyone's life, we all want someone that we want to have, hold, and Liebe and never having that feeling of ever being alone for the rest of our lives. We all know that it takes time and patience, but the thing about it is that there's people out there that jump head first into generating a relationship out of thin air with someone he/she has just met online....
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posted by cute20k
Do Du have a dirty mind?

1. When I go in I might cause pain. I cause Du to spit and ask Du not to swallow. I can fill your hole. What am I?







A dentist

2. A finger goes in me. Du fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. What am I?






A wedding ring

3. I'm spread before I'm eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes like to lick my nuts. What am I?






Peanut butter

4. I go in hard. I come out soft. Du blow me hard . What am I?






Chewing gum

5. All Tag long it's in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I?






An elevator

6. I...
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posted by TDIlover4ever
1. If Du have 3 quarters, 4 dimes, and 4 pennies, Du have $1.19. Du also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.

2. The numbers '172' can be found on the back of the U.S. $5 dollar bill in the bushes at the base of the lincoln Memorial.

3. President Kennedy was the fastest Zufällig speaker in the world with upwards of 350 words per minute.

4. In the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of 5 times around the equator.

5. Odontophobia is the fear of teeth.

6. The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottles represents the number of varieties of...
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1. Bewegen the refrigerator into the bathroom (preferably in the bath tub)

2. Hang outside from an upstairs window

3. Bewegen all of your furniture into their room and when they return home, insist that your imaginary friend needed some personal Weltraum so Du have to Bewegen into their room

4. Decorate the roof with glitter and ketchup.

5. Carve the lyrics of Elmo's song into every tree.

6. Mow the lawn in certain places to create the word 'pie'

7. Memorize pi, then illustrate it on a large sheet of paper insisting that your mother hangs it on the fridge.

8. Replace all 'grade A' papers hung up on the fridge...
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posted by x-menobsessed26
found on different websites, but crazy baby names have been driving me nuts. Time to get the word out that parents need to stop and think before they let the doctor put pen to paper.

Al Bino (albino)
Amanda Lynn (a mandolin)
Anna Sassin (an assassin)
Annie Howe (any how)
Barb Dwyer (barbed wire)
Barry Cade (barricade)
Ben Dover (bend over)
Brighton Early (bright and early)
Brock Lee (broccoli)
Chris kreuz (criss-cross)
Chris P. speck (crispy bacon)
Constance Noring (constant snoring)
Crystal Ball
Crystal Claire Waters (crystal clear waters)
Dan Druff (dandruff)
Richard Burns (dick burns)
Richard...
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posted by KateKicksAss
Credit: www.rinkworks.com
I thought these were funny, what do Du guys think?


"Do not use if Du cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet." -- In the information booklet.

"Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.

"For external use only!" -- On a curling iron.

"Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron.

"Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer.

"Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer.

"Do not use while sleeping oder unconscious." -- On a hand-held massaging device.

"Do not place this product...
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posted by invadercalliope
Ok today i'm going to tell Du a story!
Mrs.green: Class today is friday and this is your last peried but still doesn't give Du the right to slack off! ARE WE CLEAR!
Class: YES MA'AM!
Cheral:Hi i'm Cheral this is my class i'm in the seventh grade and it's been a fun year!
Tabbi:Hi i'm new in the class i have only been here for a week and it's been fun! my rival here is cheral we sometimes have a fight with umm braging in it it's a never win oder lose fight its one of those that Du hate.
Cheral:Do Du have that one girl that Du don't like naturaly its not that we figght about whose better its that...
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posted by EllentheStrange
I am anti emo,because I don't the idea of them

mutilating themselves for no reason.I mean

sure,you have bullies at school and your mom

hates you,but I have those same problems.But I

don't cut,or dink,or do drugs.Emo Kids are just

pissing their life away cutting and killing

themselves over their little problems.You live in

a small town,nobody feels sorry for you.get a

haircut.There's no point to get

yourself.Everybody has problems.Deal with

them,but don't cut.Write oder draw.Listen to music.

Do something else besides cut.And the posers are

even worst so I dislike them even more.They think

it will...
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Make your own sentence (be honest though);

Step 1: Choose your Monat of birth...

January: I hate...
February: I ran naked with...
March: I need...
April: I shot...
May: I smoked weed with...
June: I killed...
July: I pissed on...
August: I fucked...
September: I got married with...
October: I stabbed...
November: I gave a blowjob to...
December: I took a crap on...

Step 2: Choose your birthday;

1: A monkey...
2: A prostitute...
3: A vacuum cleaner...
4: You...
5: Barney the dinosaur...
6: A dog...
7: Santa Clause...
8: A travesty...
9: A porn star...
10: A condom...
11: A bowl of cereal...
12: A jew...
13: A lesbian......
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posted by KitkatKaysa
Gemini.
Your element: Air
Your ruling planets: Mercury
Symbol: The Twins
Your stone: Aquamarine
Life Pursuit: To explore a little bit of everything.
Vibration: Intense mental energy
Gemini's Secret Desire: To be ahead of the crowd


Description:
In ancient Greek mythology, Gemini's ruler - Mercury, was the light-footed messenger of the gods who darted back and forth across the heavens delivering news - which might explain why those born under the sign of the 'Twins' are always on the move; thirsty for knowledge and new experiences. Terminally curious and sometimes even mischievous, Geminis are...
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posted by karpach_13
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!

Q: How can Du tell if a blonde has been using the computer?
A: The joystick is wet.

Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her Mehr attractive?
A: Her ankles.

Q: What do Du say to a Blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."

Q: What do Blondes say after sex?
A1: Thanks Guys.
A2: Are Du boys all in the same band?
A3: Do Du guys all play for the Green bucht Packers?

Q: How do Du make a blonde's eyes twinkle?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q: What does a screen door and a blonde...
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