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Source: tumblr
i just wonder if Du guys like this better, oder Du don't like pictures of girls at all
Foto
posted by LizzyTheCat
1.Hum loudly in class and when he/she tells 'the person who is humming' to keep quiet-stop but then carry on two Minuten later.

2.Tap your foot loudly when he/she is grading tests.

3.While he/she is busy explaining something, have a huge coughing fit (make sure it's loud) and don't let her finish a sentence.

4.Push your chair in and pull it out, non-stop.

5.Sigh loudly while he/she is explaining something and look longingly at a clock (or your watch if Du are wearing one) and then look out the window and sigh again.

6.Pretend to be asleep during a lesson and when Du get woken up, scream loudly...
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posted by tokidoki123
[The Simpsons] 1F02 - Homer Goes To College #255
Homer: I've been working on a plan. During the exam, I'll hide under some coats, and hope that somehow everything will work out.
Contributed Von funnytvquotes.com



[The Simpsons] 1F05 - Bart's Inner Child #32
Skinner: Damn...they're very slowly getting away!
Moe: They're heading for the old mill!
Homer: No we're not.
Moe: Well, let's go to the old mill anyway -- get some cider!
Contributed Von funnytvquotes.com



[The Simpsons] 1F06 - Boy Scoutz 'N the haube #86
Homer: Marge, don't discourage the boy. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what...
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posted by bizeshnakarki
I got it somewhere n thought i should share it.

101 Ways To Annoy People
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with Friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If Du have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours Von hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all...
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posted by Usui--takumi
I'm Against death penalty. Looking at the death penalty system in action, Du realize that the only purpose it serves is retribution oder revenge, it is seriously (and intrinsically) flawed in application and that there is a serious and continuing risk of executing innocent people. And, it costs much Mehr than life in prison.
130 people wrong fully convicted people were sentenced to death and were lucky to be exonerated and released, eventually. DNA, available in less than 10% of all homicides, can’t guarantee we won’t execute innocent people. If someone is convicted and later found innocent...
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posted by someone_save_me
Beauty is our weapon against nature; Von it we make objects, giving them limit, symmetry, proportion. Beauty halts and freezes the melting flux of nature.
Camille Paglia

Break a vase, and the Liebe that reassembles the fragments is stronger than that Liebe which took its symmetry for granted when it was whole.
Derek Walcott

Guided only Von their feeling for symmetry, simplicity, and generality, and an indefinable sense of the fitness of things, creative mathematicians now, as in the past, are inspired Von the art of mathematics rather than Von any prospect of ultimate usefulness.
E. T. glocke

I don't...
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First off, this is not made to offend anyone! If your offended Von this then I apoligize. Anyway these are the most horrible shows I have ever seen! If Du have a reason for a Zeigen I put Kommentar and I might add it(ill give credit about it to Du because its your idea :D) Anyway sorry for all this long Lesen right here but here we go:
(Cartoon Network)
-(from commercial)Secret Mountain Fort Awesome:
1.Characters are even uglier then the "Problem Solvers" characters who are pretty god damn ugly!
2.From the looks on the commercial, it seems like it has no good things that will happen oder any interesting...
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1. Turn to a stranger and sing a Zufällig song
2. When your on a floor someone wants to get off on make sure they don't get off
3. Say in a new jersey accent "I told my daughter not to give the dog coffee. What does she do? She gives the dog coffee! Now i've got a dead dog! A dumb daughter! And no coffee!"
4. If your with a friend, and there are Mehr people start a annoying conversation. (I did this one time and all the people in the elevator turned to me, someone even sagte shut up XD)
5. Pretend your driving in a car, and make motor sounds
6. Whisper into a strangers ear "I am a parol officer! Respect...
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posted by bubbletl
1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."

2. If Du have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

3. Start each meal Von conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

4. Name your dog "Dog."

5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what Du think."

7. Claim that Du must always wear a bicycle helm as part of your "astronaut training."

8. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything...
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posted by evangelinetom
101 Ways to
Annoy Your Roomate

1. Insist that Du are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the bett holding your stomach every time your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say Du know nothing about them.

2. Get some hair. Disperse it around your roommate's head while he/she is asleep. Keep a pair of scissors Von your bed. Snicker at your roommate every morning.

3. Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as Du can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep...
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posted by energizerbunny
5. Avril Lavigne

Not a Fan but she's so skinny!! I've never been skinny in my whole life and will never be.

4. Sophia Bush

She's pretty. She has boobs & a butt, but is not big.

3. Kaya Scodelario

Again with the skinniness. I don't think skinny is all there is, but for someone like me who's never been skinny, it's seems nice! She also has a unique face and her eyes are gorgeous!

2. Katie Cassidy

This girl is just so GORGEOUS!! And looks so classy when she dresses up.

1. Megan Fox

Not a Fan but she has to be the DEFINITION of PERFECT! PERFECT face, PERFECT body, just PERFECT!!


Some people are just lucky I guess. <33
posted by Tamar20
Have Du ever wanted to annoy someone so bad that they want to kill you? Then this Artikel is right for you! Hahaha. Du know I've tried most of them and it does work. :P

1. Use potty humor. Announce to them that Du have to go to the bathroom, and that Du think that they should go too, as they have been holding it in for quite a while. When they do go to the bathroom, call out to them things like: "Are Du doing okay in there?". To make it even Mehr annoying, if there are other people in the bathroom, proudly announce to them: "My friend is in there," pointing at the bathroom stall. When you...
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I was scrolling across deviantART, and came across this HIGHLY shocking news that everyone needs to know about right now!

We all know about copyright infringement and the numerous laws preventing us from using copyrighted material. Some sites and companies take these things very seriously if Du do not have permission from sagte company. But there are sites and companies that's only ask that Du give credit where credit is due. Thankfully like DA.

Now, over the past few days I have just been strolling thru the Internet, visiting some of my fav sites to chill on, and every site has been posting...
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posted by chattycandy
Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. They prefer neat and presentable girls.

Guys hate flirts.

A guy can like Du for a minute, and then forget Du afterwards.

When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're not thinking the way he is.

"Are Du doing something?" oder "Have Du eaten already?" are the first usual Fragen a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.

Guys may be flirting around all Tag but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

When a guy really likes you, he'll disregard all your bad characteristics....
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posted by lloonny
1. Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
2. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas
3. Chuck Norris will never have a herz attack. His herz isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
4. If at first Du don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
5. Chuck Norris can set ants on feuer with a magnifying glass. At night.
6. Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
7. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
8. They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
9....
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posted by yukikiyruu
Sleeping Beauty: Perfect for the sleepyheads.
Dolly Wholly: This name is perfect for the well-dressed girl.
Honey Bunny: Ideal for your playful girlfriend.
Cutsie Wootsie: This cute name is excellent to say when Du are pinching her cheeks with both hands.
Pretty Eyes: If your girlfriend has crystal-clear, beautiful eyes, then Du may call her Von this cute name.
Princess: It is a perfect name for your girlfriend, if she has that little girl spirit.
Pumpkin: This name can be used for casual moments.
Doll Face: This name is perfect for a girl with a cute face.
Beautiful: It is a simple but effective...
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posted by happyfreak
A friend of mine has another friend that is addicted to meth. She found this and gave it to her friend. She then gave me a copy because she sagte it was sad and cared enough to let me know what meth is and does.

This poem was written Von a young Indiana girl who was in jail for drug charges, and was addicted to Meth. She wrote this while in jail. As Du will soon read, she fully grasped the horrors of the drug, as she tells in this simple, yet profound poem. She was released from jail, but, true to her story, the drug owned her. They found her dead not long after, with the needle still in her...
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posted by cute20k
Do Du have a dirty mind?

1. When I go in I might cause pain. I cause Du to spit and ask Du not to swallow. I can fill your hole. What am I?







A dentist

2. A finger goes in me. Du fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. What am I?






A wedding ring

3. I'm spread before I'm eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes like to lick my nuts. What am I?






Peanut butter

4. I go in hard. I come out soft. Du blow me hard . What am I?






Chewing gum

5. All Tag long it's in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I?






An elevator

6. I...
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posted by cute20k
Here are the signs:

1. Tech Support calls "YOU" for help.

2. Someone at work tells Du a joke and Du say "LOL".

3. Du watch TV with the closed captioning turned on.

4. Du have called out someone's screen name while making Liebe to your significant other.

5. Du keep begging your Friends to get an account so "we can hang out".

6. Three words: Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.

7. You've even gotten on an airplane just to meet some folks face-to- face.

8. Du have to get a 2d phone line just so Du can call pizza Hut.

9. Du go into labour and Du stop to type a special e-mail to let everyone know you're...
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posted by invadercalliope
Ok today i'm going to tell Du a story!
Mrs.green: Class today is friday and this is your last peried but still doesn't give Du the right to slack off! ARE WE CLEAR!
Class: YES MA'AM!
Cheral:Hi i'm Cheral this is my class i'm in the seventh grade and it's been a fun year!
Tabbi:Hi i'm new in the class i have only been here for a week and it's been fun! my rival here is cheral we sometimes have a fight with umm braging in it it's a never win oder lose fight its one of those that Du hate.
Cheral:Do Du have that one girl that Du don't like naturaly its not that we figght about whose better its that...
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posted by Cantwait4book5
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.

In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a stier, bull so that they can breed their own stock.

The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize stier, bull for sale. Upon leaving, she tells her sister, “When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I’ll contact Du to drive out after me and haul it home.”

The brunette arrives at the man’s ranch, inspects...
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