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10. At the bottom of an escalator, scream "MY SHOELACES! AAAGH!"

9. At the stylist, ask to have the hair on the back of your knuckles permed.

8. Ask a saleswoman whether a particular shade of panties matches the color of your beard.

7. Sneak up on saleswomen at the perfume counter and spray them with your own bottle of Eau de Swanke. (Also repeat using Squirty Cheese, A feuer Extinguisher oder Mace if desired.)

6. Collect stacks of paint brochures and hand them out as religious tracts.

5. At the pet store, ask if they have bulk discounts on gerbils, and whether there's much meat on them.

4. Hand...
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Girl: I really like you. And I... I think I'm falling in Liebe with you. Boy: Ok... Girl: What do Du mean "ok"? Boy: I don't like Du like that... Girl: Why not? Boy: I can't tell you... maybe another time... From then on, the girl kept asking the boy "Why not?" whenever she saw him, and he kept answering the same answer of "I'll tell Du later. Finally the girl got fed up. Girl: I'm tired of this! Tell me why Du don't like me! Boy: Do Du really wanna know why? Girl: Yes! Boy: It's because you're uglier than freaking crap! What's the point of going out with someone when they're not pretty?!...
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posted by shiriny
6
one in 10 of the world's population is left handed.
four out of five machintosh computer designers were left handed,and one out of four Apollo astronauts were left handers too.

Mehr famous left hander:

drew barry more

Angelina jolie

nicole kidman

Marilyn monroe

demi moore

Mary-kate and ashley olsen

julia roberts

Hans christian anderson

mark twain

Billy strahl, ray cyrus

celine dion

Pierce brosnan

jim carry

Hugh jackman

brad pitt

Michelangelo

leonardo davinci

Picasso

newton

Albert einstein

george bush

charlie chaplin

cary grant

napeleon bonaparte

bill gates

marie curie

rachel adams

mark spitz
Hello there. As many of Du have already noticed,there has been a lot of stuff that's not for kids 13 and under. Like pornography in a couple of spots and vile language. As their seniors I guess,we should make this place safer for them. Nobody wants to be arrested for talking sexually to a 12 Jahr older oder for posting child porn on here. But many people wonder why they shouldn't curse. I will honestly explain that to you. Please enjoy this opinionated article.

One of the first reasons why a person shouldn't curse (type them anyways) around 13-11 Jahr olders on here is because they might learn...
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posted by prussiaducky
4
1. PAY ATTENTION! Even though paying attention is hard and focus is laying else where, paying attention is a huge part and connects to all fields of school. Homework, Quizze and tests, participation, and notes all depend on how much Du pay attention. Sleep and eating breakfast usually helps your focus :)

2. BEHAVE AND PARTICIPATE! Keep your eyes glued on the concept oder teacher, and don't be influenced to stray else where. Just raise your had if Du know the answer, oder ask an educated question. Other than that, BE QUIET!

3. HOMEWORK! this is the one of the fundamentals of getting an easy...
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posted by MiizLadiDiime
7
Some of the many things the dumb 21 faced bitches say in my class i am in Jahr 8 yeah i sagte it Jahr eight they act like deh 18 oder sumtin most of dem will become prozies

1. oh look at us were so bad cuz we smoke weed..WTF
2. so did u KISS oder snog KISS oh ur boringgg
3. rememba my so called friend gave blahblah a blow job she was serious she told me nt 2 tell bt im tellin EVRi 1
4. i Liebe Du i wanna be wid u 4 eva oh yh me 2 KISS kisssy... UR 12!!!
5 oh im gonna bang Du oh come höhle, den fight fight fight oh no i broke a nail oh did u im sorry friend yh 4eva bfff
7. i Lost my virginty ooh yh she abused...
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Just copy it, Löschen my responses and add your own. Post the results in the Kommentare if Du like. Yeah I know this should be an answer but it wouldn't fit there. Yes, I'm also aware that mine sounds kind of lame.


Write Down Ten Zufällig Characters.
1.Damon Washington
2. Louis Fitch
3. John Stone
4. Captain
5. Maureen Mason
6. Shaggy Rodgers
7. Ariana Sanchez
8. Jesse Longford
9. Vikram Mahajan
10. Velma Dinkley
Four invites Three and Eight to abendessen at their own house. What happens?
Stone and Longford: Fitch?
Captain: Who?
Longford: So you’re not Fitch?
Captain: No.
You need to stay at a friend's house for...
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posted by shadow_luver
24
i made this all up

1. dress up as jason then get a chainsaw and make it look like Du killing there son/daughter while all your doing is squerting ketchup on him/her


2. go to their house and tell the husband I Liebe Du TO __________say his/HER NAME

3.go to their house and tell them WHO ATE ALL MY PICKLES


4.go to their house act like Du dont know them and then yell outt OMFG IM NEIGHBORS WITH GOERGE LOPEZ


5.go to their house say Du got a job on the news then tell them that they should be wearing something warm but acually its gonna be swimming weather


6.go to their house say that theres no more...
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posted by BellaCullen96
Eight Stunde lunch; two dollar tip.
Ask, "Excuse me, are Du a really bad singer, oder a really bad actor?"
After he describes each special, Du shout, "Stinks!"
Whenever he walks by, cough and mutter, "Minimum wage."
Insist that, before ordering, Du be allowed to touch the London broil.
Tie tablecloth around neck and say, "You wouldn't charge Superman for dinner, would you?"
Every time Du eat oder drink, cough really hard.
Eat the check.


Hey! This Artikel was too short so I have to write this sentence.
posted by RealBenTennyson
13
See if ya can read this---

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and Du can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter Von istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! Tahts so cool!

Then why the HELL do they keep shouting 'bout "correcting-the-spellings"?!?
Hello! Gabriella here. :D I will tell Du all these: What dates & Why Du don't want your birthday on these days.

1- New Year's Tag
You don't know what your celebrating. Your birthday oder the new year.

2-Groundhog's Day
I think this is an American thing but, Du know how if Du see the shadow, this happens, if not, that happens? Yeah, why Du ask? Groundhog. People complaining about the outcome.
2-Valentine's Day
Your loved a bit too much.
2-Leap Year
This day, only comes, once every four years. Why would Du want to celebrate it today?

4-April Fool's Day
You get pranked on your own birthday. What...
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User: I didn't know Du could play Twister all Von yourself.


Cleverbot: I didn't know Du could play the cello online either.


User: Cat got your tongue, because there's an extra one here.


Cleverbot: No the dog actually. But close.


User: I for one feel bad for the chicken.


Cleverbot: Du spelled fear wrong...

User: Would a redhead wear a red blouse? That's a rhetorical question.

Cleverbot: Probably, but he oder she wouldn't want to admit it.

User: I don't know, I didn't write it down.

Cleverbot: I'm going to copy and paste it so that Du can see that Du di.

User: Too bad it wasn't a learn how to swim patch....
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posted by Me_Iz_Here
25
RULES AND TIPS OF THE Zufällig SPOT
by Me_Iz_Here

•    You must speak fluent English, Sarcasm, Sexual Innuendo, Rudeness, and Meme
•    You must know quite a few "popular" fandoms. Du don't have to be in them, but know they're gonna be around. A lot of them are just fads, however.
•    You must know who the Rave Buddies are.
•    If Du troll, Du die. If you’re not a troll but troll once, it should be fine. But Du WILL get yelled at for trolling.
•    You must know the difference between...
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posted by wolfgirl985
16
1. Grab your spoon and put Essen on it and start flinging it at people
2. When your parents arent looking splash water oder soda on some stranger (optional)
3.Go to every tabelle and start to loosen the salt and pepper shakers
4.When Du take a drink of your water oder soda spit it out at some stranger
5.Complain loudly how terrible the service is and if the waiter doesnt do anything give them 25 cents as a tip
6.When Du got your Dessert (pie,ice cream,etc...) quietly throw some at strangers AND/OR waiter
7.If someone gives Du a dirty look nicely and daintly blow your nose in your napkin and throw it at them
Sorry i dont know what else 2 put but i hope u enjoyed this article!
posted by Shelly_McShelly
2
20 Things To Do In A Drive Through Lane

1. Stand close to the speaker and yell your order, using colorful expletives in ways which would embarrass the patrons inside.

2. Drive through backwards.

3. Belch your order.

4. After ordering, cover the speaker and mic with transparent tape. Watch as customers and order-takers are unable to hear each other and, thus, each raises his/her volume.

5. Barter. Offer a Whopper for a Big Mac.

6. Walk through.

7. Speak a foreign language (make one up if Du have to). When the manager comes to the mic, speak English and inquire as to why the order taker had such difficulty...
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previously on The Evil Teddy Bear: Tina saw a Cute looking Teddy bär and picked up from the self but when she put on the counter to buy it the sales man straight away took it off of the counter and sagte it wasnt for sale but then Jenni had an awesome idea and managed to get the Teddy bär the sales man gave the girls the Teddy bär for free but after they left and while they were walking the Teddy bär evil chuckled and its eyes turned red...

Tina unlocked the door to their house (forgot to mention that their also sisters)and they all walked in Peter put the Teddy bär ontop of the book case...
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posted by AngelVicki427
5
Ok, here is the dream I had a couple of nights ago.
_________________________________________________
I was in this picnic area, I don't really remember. So, there was this red headed lady and my grandma sitting at a picnic table, laughing. I came over. They were all hi hi and stuff. Then, this guy in a panda bär costume ran over. It wasn't a cute panda. He had a huge nose. No mouth and beady little eyes. FREAKY!
_________________________________________________
RED HAIRED LADY: Did u ever want 2 hug a panda bear?
ME: Well, um, that's random
LADY: Your grandma told me that u like animals, so hug...
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posted by flippy_fan210
 foamy
foamy
It was late afternoon. Foamy had just woken up. He was at the door. “ah. Time for a nice Tag of ranting.” he sagte as he opened the door. When he saw his surroundings he freaked out. “what the h@#$!?” this isn't my neighborhood!i need a lawyer! Where is my lawyer!?” Pilz-E walked out of another house. “What's with all the noise Foamy?” he asked. “Stop popping pills and look around Du a%$hole!” Foamy replied. Pilz-E looked around and gasped. “you're right Foamy. This isn't where we live!” Foamy rolled his eyes and sagte sarcastically “gee, I never would've guessed, retard!”...
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posted by Lucien_Lachance
28
It's best if Du say your opinion

Xbox 360 oder ps3? (Xbox)

Twilight oder Harry Potter? (duh Harry Potter)

Is metal good music? (Of course it is!)

What do Du think of Justin Beiber? oder One Direction? or... um... The Jonas Brothers? (They all suck)

Nintendo oder Sega? (Niiiinnteendooo)

Should gays have rights? (NEVER!)

Should cannabis be legalized? (No Doubt)

Should America have better gun control? (yes)

Should Tiere have rights? (yep)

Halo oder COD? (Halo)

Is pokemon childish? (no)

Facebook oder twitter? (Facebook)


AND NOW THE ULTIMATE WAY TO START ARGUMENTS ONLINE:

star, sterne wars oder trek which is better? (STAR WARS!)
posted by Thecharliejay
3
1. If using a touch-tone, press Zufällig numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.
2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.
3. Use CB lingo where applicable.
4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.
5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."
6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.
7. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.
8. Answer their Fragen with questions.
9. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition...
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